I was going to write a goof piece on the "leaked transcript from Trump's U.N. speech"...

[Miles Archer]

...and changed my mind.

A few of the satires I've written here have, on occasion, been favorably compared to Borowitz and the Onion (which I greatly appreciate, thank you once again to the folks who made those comments).

But just like Borowitz, I've seen a few of his pieces fall flat since Trump has been in office, because there is no form of over-the-top satire that tops some of the actual garbage that comes out of his mouth. There are a few sweet spots, when you hit them, that are good for a laugh. But if you miss that spot by an inch, it's just not funny.

I've written a few and discarded them for this exact reason. And in this situation, with Nikki Haley telling us Trump "knows how to hug his friends and spank his enemies," this has the potential to be another Charlottesville speech, especially if he veers from the teleprompter.

The fact that he waddled off to Bedminster this weekend and spewed his treasure-trove of insanity on Twitter this morning also isn't a good sign. What's he gonna do? Eat a leathery steak with two scoops, watch some Fox News, go to bed, and wake up "Presidential?"

So I owe you one. I'll write about something else. For this speech, having our embarrassment of a "President" step out again onto the word stage and share what's "in his heart" is somehow satire-proof.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Isn't that the truth? While satire may not be altogether dead,

it's a whole lot tougher to pull off because it's too hard to distinguish it from the terrifying reality of Trump. I expect that Trump will go to the U.N. with a speech carefully crafted by someone else (I hope not Steve Miller); the speech will be loaded into the teleprompter and he'll read it as if he'd just been shot up with Thorazine. The speech will be somewhat within the parameters of semi-normal international relations (unless Steve Miller writes it or Trump gets secret messages from Steve Bannon), but early the following morning he'll lose his shit and blow up the whole thing by tweeting more threats of Fire 'n' Fury™ along with a GIF of Kim Jung-Un getting run over by the Trump Train. He might add a pic of Obama's inaugural crowd, falsely represented to be yesterday's Mother of All Rallies, which actually attracted tens of overweight white people dressed in unflattering clothing featuring horizontal red and white stripes.

[nocalflea]

2. Wish the GA would boycott his speech.

Can't imagine anyone actually wanting to sit through his tortured teleprompter reading. Nothing like being held hostage by a semi-literate ignoramus/imbecile.