Like racism is a white problem, sexual assault is a MAN problem and MEN have to fix it.

[Eliot Rosewater]

Only whites can solve racism, since it is their problem and it is gonna require men to resolve sexual assault since the vast majority is committed by men.

So if you are a man who is not a sexual abuser, then your job, my job, is to STOP this bullshit and never lecture the victim on what they should have done, should do.

Assume that in most cases men have a position of authority over the woman, first of all.

A well meaning liberal man did a thread about what women should do, so I thought lets change the focus to what men MUST do.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. Yes, thank you. K&R.

[Control-Z]

2. Thank you for this, Eliot.

Could you point me to the thread from the well meaning liberal man, please?

[Eliot Rosewater]

4. sure

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029753952


and I know him and he really is...


It is like when my wife will tell me a story about her day, in it is some problem and before she can finish the story I want to interrupt her to tell her how to fix the problem.

She doesnt want me to tell her how to fix the problem, she just wants me to listen.

[brer cat]

13. You are fine ally, Eliot!

Your wife is very lucky that you "get it."

[zipplewrath]

3. The privileged are need to fix problems associated with privilege.

Took a useless diversity/inclusion training. The one sliver of useful knowledge that came out of it (after 16 hours) was that the real solution to the problems of privilege is for those that benefit from it to stand up and speak out. One doesn't rely upon the oppressed to fight their oppression. The oppressors need to be confronted by the privileged. The civil rights movement was successful as much because WHITE people rode the freedom rides. The LGBT movement has moved forward because straight people have stood up and acknowledged the oppression of this minority. The internment camps would have never had happened if the western European community had stood up and said "stop".

[nycbos]

5. You are 95% percent right.

However there are women who enable sometimes enable this bad behavior. Like a majority of white women voting for Donald Trump despite him bragging about assault on camera.

When a football player is accused to rape in a town often the town (women included) rally about the football player and go after the victim.

[Baconator]

7. Can't find the right answer in an equation without all the variables...

This is short-sighted...

[smirkymonkey]

8. What?

What are you talking about?

[mythology]

9. I fundamentally disagree

I don't think we men can solve it alone. I think some men are legitimately confused about what harassment is. I think we also need to be told when it occurs. As a guy I can't say something if I don't know it occurs. To the best of my knowledge I've never seen a woman sexually harassed, but I believe they are. An additional problem is that too often silence is confused for consent. If it is made clear something isn't acceptable, that line is clearer.

I think we need a larger conversation to help guys understand how to not act like assholes.

[Eliot Rosewater]

10. You arent disagreeing with what I said, of course we have to shut up and listen to women.

Exactly what I am proposing

THEN we have to use our power to do what we can to stop it.

BUT thank you for adding to my idea, yes FIRST we must listen to what the problem is...

[Not Ruth]

11. i agree since man is a fairly narrow definition

http://www.med.monash.edu.au/gendermed/sexandgender.html

What is the difference between sex and gender?
Sex = male and female

Gender = masculine and feminine

So in essence:

Sex refers to biological differences; chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs.

Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine.

So while your sex as male or female is a biological fact that is the same in any culture, what that sex means in terms of your gender role as a 'man' or a 'woman' in society can be quite different cross culturally. These 'gender roles' have an impact on the health of the individual.

In sociological terms 'gender role' refers to the characteristics and behaviours that different cultures attribute to the sexes. What it means to be a 'real man' in any culture requires male sex plus what our various cultures define as masculine characteristics and behaviours, likewise a 'real woman' needs female sex and feminine characteristics. To summarise:

'man' = male sex+ masculine social role

(a 'real man', 'masculine' or 'manly')

'woman' = female sex + feminine social role

(a 'real woman', 'feminine' or 'womanly')

[crazycatlady]

12. It starts with parents (and later schools)

Boys need to be taught about consent from a very early age and that girls (or other boys) are not sex objects.