General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMillions Disappointed It Wasnt Jared
Satire from The Borowitz Report
By Andy Borowitz
12:00 P.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Amid the general jubilation over the arrest of Paul Manafort on Monday, millions of Americans reported extreme disappointment that the first person arrested from Robert Muellers Russia probe was not Jared Kushner. Across the country, downcast Americans commiserated over the news that their choice for Muellers first indictment had been overlooked.
I know it makes me sound petty, since today is a day of national celebration, Harland Dorrinson, who had been holding a Kushner-arrest-watch party in suburban Toledo, said. But for a lot of us who had had our hopes set on Jared, today is bittersweet.
Tracy Klugian, who watched news of Manaforts arrest from her home in San Jose, agreed. Dont get me wrong, Im thrilled that Manaforts being brought in, she said. But hes no Jared.
Davis Logsdon, a clinical psychologist at the University of Minnesota Medical Center, said that he is counselling patients who are dealing with the severe emotional letdown of the first person arrested not being Jared.
Im urging them to see this disappointment as an opportunity for growth, Logsdon said. Its true that none of the first three arrests was Jared, but we have to live with that reality. And, perhaps, if we are patient, the fourth, fifth, or even fiftieth arrest will be Jared.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/millions-disappointed-it-wasnt-jared?mbid=nl_103017%20Borowitz%20Newsletter%20
Iggo
(47,558 posts)Patience.
and for those who do, Pray
Most corrupt administration this country has ever had in its 200 plus years of existence
BigmanPigman
(51,611 posts)the fucking moron would've known and had an unmistakable meltdown.
madokie
(51,076 posts)pus on the marble floor of the whitehouse. I'll happily chip in to pay to have the marble replaced if necessary
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Also, Jared is being investigated by the Maryland State AG, and possibly NY AG Schneidermann - who is also after Trump himself.
BigmanPigman
(51,611 posts)in an illegal and harassing way? The moron's dad Fred used to get into legal trouble for the same sort of activities I think. I hope NY, MD, and DC take turns screwing them all to the wall.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)jail time. He issued civil arrest warrants to pressure his tenants into paying rent and other debts. He was a complete slumlord and his properties were not maintained well, or barely at all. There were many complaints of failed appliances, mold, and rodent/insect infestations - which he did nothing to remedy.
BigmanPigman
(51,611 posts)so perhaps the tenants thought that when he came for the rent check he was just another rodent, only slightly larger, and they ignored him like the rest that infested his buildings.
Gothmog
(145,321 posts)LisaL
(44,973 posts)ollie10
(2,091 posts)....And Jared is one of the last
malaise
(269,057 posts)procon
(15,805 posts)I shall not give up hope that he will still be arrested at a later date.