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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsNation To Wait For More Facts On Texas Shooting Before Doing Absolutely Nothing About It
https://www.theonion.com/nation-to-wait-for-more-facts-on-texas-shooting-before-1820186609WASHINGTONIn the wake of a shooting in Sutherland Springs, TX that left at least 26 people dead and 20 wounded, the nation declared its intent Monday to wait for more facts on the mass slaughter before doing absolutely nothing about it. We dont want to jump to conclusions and get the facts wrong before we start ignoring it completely, said Enid, OK resident Roger Benson, echoing the sentiments of 324 million other Americans who added they werent willing to do nothing whatsoever to address the countrys mass shooting epidemic until they learned more about the killer, including his possible connection to the church and his mental health background. People have been speculating on social media, but that doesnt do us any good unless we know the truth about his family life, and how and why he was able to acquire an assault weaponotherwise, theres just no way to neglect to address this shooting in the larger context of gun violence in America. We all need to take a deep breath, gather as much information as we can, and then sit with our hands folded indefinitely. At press time, the nation conceded that even if a couple facts remained unknown, that shouldnt stand in way of a concerted effort to simply wait for the next bloodbath.
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Nation To Wait For More Facts On Texas Shooting Before Doing Absolutely Nothing About It (Original Post)
geardaddy
Nov 2017
OP
Last year, The Onion abandoned absurdist satire and now prints only factual articles.
Girard442
Nov 2017
#1
Girard442
(6,075 posts)1. Last year, The Onion abandoned absurdist satire and now prints only factual articles.
No one has noticed.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
MineralMan
(146,317 posts)3. And That's the Republican Way! Everyone sing along with me...
We do nothing.
We don't care.
When we do something.
You'll pull your hair.
Chorus:
Vote for us on Election Day,
And that's the Republican Way!
We're always right.
They're always wrong.
We'll win this fight.
So sing our song:
Chorus
geardaddy
(24,931 posts)4. Excellent MM!