I've been in denial.
I've been telling myself I was disgusted more than angry over the election, the seeming acceptance of the election, the attempts at normalization of Trump, his family, his cabinet, his conflicts - all things Trump, really. His supporters, the idea of good Nazis, the attacks on all things decent. Again, all things Trump and all things Conservative/Republican/Right wing.
But I'm actually very angry. Incredibly so.
I've missed or ignored the usual signs of anger in me. If I am angry and shed tears, I'm less likely to blow as the tears act as a release. I'm no less angry - just unlikely to lash out. My anger ebbs but my concern and caring don't. My humanity remains.
My anger has been cold, calm, and buried deep - but it is there and it has been acting on me. Tummy problems, headaches, and simply not wanting to bother with human interaction if it involves even the slightest chance of running across a republican of any persuasion.
I don't like me this way. There was a time when I could watch a hearing or press briefing or speech by a republican and maintain a sense of humor, even if only sardonic - my cynicism both a shield and a release. Now, I can't do it. It's too infuriating. I can still be mocking, but the release isn't there - only more anger. So I don't watch. I don't engage. I simply grow angrier.
I don't want to look at people through the lens of anger. It serves no purpose. And, of course, I get angry at myself for allowing it to happen. More anger.
Thank you for listening.
Solly
= new reply since forum marked as read
It is taking away my energy levels and enthusiasm, my joy, my optimism. I recognize it in myself as a variable but finite loss of interest in my passions.
This has been a brutal year plus, no doubt. I suspect each of us here are variable in recognizing it in ourselves, and in how (if?) we are coping with it.
Hang in there....I am certainly trying to.
Thank you! You DO understand.
You, too.
acceptance. I am angry as well. I will never accept this is normal.
I totally understand where you are at.
I've been able to turn my anger into somehow being there for others who were never as vocal about things as I have been. I had to go to a family function up in upstate NY a few weeks ago.
Friends of mine who NEVER talk politics with me kept pulling me aside to tell me that even though they can't express themselves, they wanted me to know they too are disgusted and it helped them.
It helped me feel a bit better knowing we are far far from alone. I also helped me to know that my writings, posts, et all are helping people.
Hang in there Solly, so many of us share your anger.
Raine
It does help knowing I'm not alone. You are so right - I will never accept this as normal.
However I do take solace in knowing that the midterm elections will hopefully make Trump a lame duck. Although doing the Top 10 Conservative Idiots has given me an outlet to make fun of the news so I have that as well. Plus a large collection of bot and troll accounts that I've helped ban from Twitter for hate speech. 
Small doses aren't as bad as the full assault. Still...
Thank you. 
& too!
I just finished circulating my petition for precinct committeeman.
My husband and I are circulating a nominating petition for a well-qualified candidate to run against our teahadist congressman.
Phone bank. Talk to people. Even if you can only do a little, it will help how you feel and help everyone else, too.
I'll find something positive to do. I've accepted my anger and now I can do something about it.
He enjoyed dining in open air cafes while watching people play chess with almost life-size playing pieces, where the players walked around the board, carrying their pieces about. This was in Alexandria.
He brought me back all kinds of goodies but still....
Thanks! 
One directed at all things Trump as you have so well described, and another directed at a personal relationship.
Letting go of anger is very hard to do when it is difficult to remove yourself from the source of the anger, but if you
are able to do it, I recommend it. At least cut down on the amount to which you are exposed (news).
I have recently taken steps to remove myself from the relationship that has been causing me so much anger, and so far,
I'm feeling much better. I think the same techniques ought to apply to working on letting go of all things Trump.
Take that road trip. Walk the dogs. Go out with the camera. Cultivate an in-person friendship if there is someone
in your area that you'd like to get to know better.
And know that there are many of us here who can at least offer a cyber-hug.
(and more s)
Like I said - fantasy.
But it would be nice.
I'm so sorry about your brother.
And the hits just keep coming. New lows invented. I know I want to move. Get somewhere less red. I know mean people are everywhere but some places are worse than others. Mean and ignorant is a bad combination.
can deal with it better.
There's still disgust. A lot of it - but the anger is the driving force behind most of worries and feelings. It's been robbing me of pleasure. And I am someone who gets up to watch the sunrise just to tell the new day "Hello". I used to be, anyway. I was that annoying morning person everyone else wanted to slap.
Might end up angrier once it bears out otherwise.
You all have helped a lot. I know what I need to do, so I need to get to it. I'll start with music. Something loud and angry I can dance to while singing in my usual off-key, make dogs howl special way. If I had a bucket, the tune would try to drown me in it.
But then I go out to run an errand and without fail, some trumpster is offering up an opinion. Maddening.
Dubya energized me and I became very active in my community.
Trump was a gut-punch and honestly I feel numb.
For me, the good news is we bought a new house and everything to do with that has kept me occupied for some months. I love this house -- We are 70 and hope we can enjoy it for years to come. I try to focus on that.
But Trump hovers over all, malignant and terrifying, the Trojan Horse who brings in the destruction of all I have ever held dear about my country and its prospects for progress.
I try not to say this to anyone. Fortunately my family and friends, political and apolitical alike, are not Trump fans.
Hang in there, Solly.
Thank you!
He does hover over all and in just the way you describe.
As much as one CAN think at the crack of dawn. 
Your comment about the anger made me realize I’ve had some level of anger since 2000 when Bush the Younger was (s)elected. I didn’t get to vote that year because my sister died and we were at her funeral out of town on Election Day. I remember our family watching the returns that night and just being gob smacked at the way things were going. Then that whole debacle that followed hit us all between the eyes. What followed was 8 years of more unbelievably wacko events that kept many of us enraged and feeling rather powerless.
And then came Obama. We were on top of the world. At last our nightmare was over. Everything seemed just primed and ready to make things good again. Turn it all around. Until we got that kick in the gut feeling as the Republicans tried to twart everything Obama set out to do. He managed to pull off some amazing hat tricks even as they worked behind the scenes to destroy his presidency. So we felt a little better.
It was a false sense of security to get lulled in by what Obama accomplished in the face of opposition determined to stop him. We let our guard down and along came tRump. We were sure that Hillary, smart, poised, accomplished would run circles around him. And she did. But we were not counting on how determined he was to win. We didn’t know then what we know now. So our common sense told us that no one in their right mind would vote for someone as vile as him. But we were wrong.
Not only did a lot of people vote for that disgusting piece of trash, there was a thumb on the scale that we didn’t realize was screwing over the rest of us. And now we’ve had just about a year of his self serving, criminally tainted administration destroying everything in its path. We watch in abject horror, never knowing from one day to the next what they will do that disgusts or dismays us.
So it is no wonder we are angry. We have very good reasons to be paranoid, seething with the knowledge that the very foundation of our country is being undermined from within. And we feel powerless to do a damn thing except seethe and come to places like DU to vent our rage and commiserate. The power to fight back that we felt on the day after Inauguration Day, put on a pussy hat and say HELL NO, has more or less dissipated. We feel demoralized and defeated. And that is not a good place to be.
The good news (and goodness knows we need some of that) is that Mueller is working like a demon to pull this case against tRump and his minions together. It has more sides to it than an octopus has tentacles. It is complicated by design. It is going in 40 directions at once. But Mueller is no fool and the man knows how to delegate. No one person could do it all, so he has Chopped this bugger up and is slowly but surely figuring out their scheme and scams.
So I think we need to dry our tears of frustration, hold our heads high and count on our system to work. It is hard, damn hard with tRump ruining so much, but hang on we must. Find better coping skills. Less drinking hard liquor, more cool water. Less sitting in the recliner, brooding and stewing. More walking, doing something creative and fun. Keep up with what’s going on but not in a compulsive, destructive way. We can do this but it won’t be easy or painless.
I think we still need to turn to our friends and buds here at DU but we need to revamp our interactions so we encourage and embolden each other to do better. And channel some energy back into ourselves so we dig out that pussy hat and let others know we’re mad as hell and not gonna sit back and just take it. Organize, demonstrate and refuse to knuckle under.
We need a mix of spunk, creative outlets and more laughter, less angst. So let us make a pact that we will do better, try not to sink into despair and know that this fight we are in will not last forever. Believe that tRump’s time is coming to an end sooner rather than later. We have to latch on to the positive and move forward and not allow ourselves to become mired in the past.
Hope we all have better days...starting with this one!
Congrats on the pull-ups!!
