I tweeted a #metoo experience. It sure wasn't about a hand on my waist

[femmedem]

or even my butt during a staged hug for the cameras. That shit would be an annoyance, not a trauma. I'd be pissed off for a moment, if I was certain it was deliberate. Then I'd shrug it off and forget about it.

After my #metoo experience, I slept with a knife under my pillow. I carried a broken glass bottle with me as I walked across town, and I made sure to show it to any man who came close. I lost my way in school. It changed my profession, it damaged my marriage. Sometimes I'd stay in bed for twenty three hours a day and feel relieved that at least I got out of bed that last hour to take a bath.

I was proud to tell a hint of my story during those hours when #metoo took over social media. I wanted to stand with people who had truly been preyed on, whose lives had been changed because of sexual violence or predation, who had suffered shame and then decided en masse to say to hell with that; they had nothing to be ashamed of.

Today I almost, almost wish #metoo hadn't happened. I'm so angry about how it's been co-opted and diminished.

[mountain grammy]

1. Well said. Agree!

[BannonsLiver]

2. And to think...

Kirsten Gillibrand doesn’t believe any distinction should be drawn between what you have been through and what Franken is alleged to have done.

[femmedem]

3. A few short weeks ago I'd have gladly voted for either in 2020.

Now one's career has been destroyed and it would be damned difficult to support the other.

[RandomAccess]

4. She completely lost me over this

I wasn't really crazy about her before this, but she's dead to me now.

[Dr Hobbitstein]

6. That is patently false and you know it. Nt

[Ms. Toad]

7. #MeToo is not a competition.

It is not cheapened because someone else's #MeToo experience is not as large or traumatic as yours or mine (which started when I was 11, and runs the gamut from less physically invasive touching through rape).

Unwanted physical attention is, unfortunately, a part of nearly all women's lives. It's about time we share our stories - from the mundane to the horriffic. The mundane neither co-opt nor cheapen teh horriffic. All of the stories help people who have dismissed women's stories in the past to realiize how pervasive they are.

[nadine_mn]

11. It's not a competition, but not all experiences are the same

There is a reason in the law there are degrees: degrees of murder, assault, robbery, and sexual assault. There is a reason we don't treat every offense the same.

Things like intent, age of victim, amount of force used, evidence of bodily harm...we have to have perspective.

We can't have an honest conversation about how to make positive changes and to have our voices heard if we cannot be honest with ourselves that not all unwanted touching should be treated the same or given the same weight.

[Ms. Toad]

12. I never said they should be treated the same -

just that women sharing their experiences, even if the person they are accusing is a popular Democratic politician, does not cheapen the movement.

That doesn't mean that the response to the accusations should be the same. The appropriate response depends on the severity of the offense, the persistence of the behavior, the willingness to learn and change, etc. I have consisently said that (1) I largely believe the women and (2) Franken should not resign.

The thing that has bothered me most in the DU response to Franken is that instead of considering what the appropriate response should be, based on the fact the offenses of which Franken is accused are on the milder end of the scale and he has sincerely apologized and indicated a willingness to grow, DU has largely been attacking the accusers.

That does irreparable harm the #MeToo movement, because it lessens the willingness of women to share their experiences for fear of 70s (or earlier) style attacks.

In other words, from my perspective, the harm to the #MeToo movement comes from the knee-jerk - our hero couldn't possibly have done it response that shoves women back into closets of shame, and discourages others from poking their noses out.

[agincourt]

8. #metoo got hijacked by the GOP

but there will always be some people who will be enablers for GOP political operatives.

[herding cats]

9. I didn't share my #metoo

Now it feels irrelevant.

I have varying tales to tell, and none of them from my first and most harmless (but most shocking to me) to my last are anything minor.

I feel more marginalized now than before, personally.

[OhioBlue]

10. I agree with you so much. I too have my #metoo stories.

they started with molestation when I was six. I think we are going down a path that is diminishing sexual abuse.