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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTrumps Slurred Speech Tied to Low Battery in Putins Remote
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Donald J.Trump slurred his speech during his announcement about Jerusalem on Wednesday because of low-battery issues with Vladimir Putins remote, the White House said on Friday.
Speaking to the White House press corps, the press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, said that Trumps slurred speech was a case of what happens when President Putin doesnt change the batteries in his remote frequently enough.
President Trump makes public appearances several times a day, Sanders said. In the course of those appearances, President Putins remote can drain its battery very quickly.
Calling Putins remote-control operation of Trump far from glitch-free, Sanders said that there have also been problems with the Russian leaders attempts to control Trumps thumbs when he tweets in the early-morning hours.
Sometimes President Putin has tried to operate President Trumps thumbs and there has been the same low-battery issue, she said. This has resulted in random capital letters, misspellings, and, in some cases, gibberish.
Sanders scolded the press for speculating that Trumps slurred speech was the result of problems with dentures or his brain. We are working with tech support to resolve the issue, she said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trumps-slurred-speech-tied-to-low-battery-in-putins-remote
pandr32
(11,588 posts)I have never known anyone to slur when their throat gets dry. Cough maybe.
pandr32
(11,588 posts)Gothmog
(145,321 posts)orangecrush
(19,572 posts)is a master.
dalton99a
(81,515 posts)L. Coyote
(51,129 posts)carterbob251
(33 posts)TheBlackAdder
(28,209 posts)Thor_MN
(11,843 posts)Puppet strings. The streaming satellite service has glitches when the radiation from the sun overpowers the output of the satellite's transmitters.
JohnnyRingo
(18,636 posts)K&R for Borowitz.
I'd go to go bar hopping with him.