White Smoke Signals New Pope Elected

[Hissyspit]

Last edited Wed Mar 13, 2013, 02:43 PM - Edit history (1)

[Skinner]

1. That was quick.

Huh.

ON EDIT: Congrats to DU Catholics.

[Kelvin Mace]

7. My money is on

"a Pope of Color", so the church can seem "modern", but still appoint a right-wing zealot.

[pinto]

14. Yeah. I think the Card's knew a choice was needed within a day or two.

[Hissyspit]

72. ARTICLE:

LBN won't show updated edit when I add it to the article. It shows up in 'Preview,' but when I 'Update My Post,' nothing. This happened once before, today, too.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/03/13/us-pope-succession-idUSBRE92808520130313

White smoke signals new pope elected

By Barry Moody and Philip Pullella
VATICAN CITY | Wed Mar 13, 2013 2:24pm EDT

(Reuters) - White smoke poured from the roof of the Sistine Chapel on Wednesday and the bells of St. Peter's Basilica pealed, signaling that cardinals had chosen a new pope to lead the troubled Roman Catholic Church after only five ballots.

The decision by 115 cardinal electors came sooner than many faithful expected because of the large number of possible frontrunners identified before the vote to replace Pope Benedict, who resigned in February.

The name of the new leader of the world's 1.2 billion Roman Catholics was expected to be announced in around half an hour from the central balcony of St. Peter's Basilica.

The secret conclave began on Tuesday night with a first ballot in the Renaissance splendor of the chapel and four ballots were held on Wednesday. The white smoke indicated the new pontiff had obtained the required two thirds majority in the fifth ballot.

[RussBLib]

95. now we can take a sigh of relief

...we now have a new leader of the Catholic Church THAT NO CATHOLIC WILL PAY ATTENTION TO.

This whole black smoke/white smoke takes on a cartoonish quality. People peering intently at a fuckin' chimney fer chrissakes to see the decision. Get a life, people!

We're still communicating with smoke signals?!? It's a beautiful symbol demonstrating how out of touch the church is.

Now I guess it's too late for the authorities to raid the Vatican and arrest all the Cardinals. It was the largest gathering of pedophiles and child molesters in one place in history.

[Evasporque]

111. Cardinal Cicola

Pope Cicola

[DURHAM D]

2. I am trying to care. Really I am. nt

[Paulie]

9. I care about the name

Something like Darrel or (other brother) Darrel would be great!

[xxqqqzme]

94. Pope Darrel I -

I like it!

[CatWoman]

15. ...

[Maine-ah]

69. ^^^lmao!

[AngryOldDem]

63. I'll admit I'm curious. Word is it may be an American.

After a day and a half of deliberation.

Criminal background checks take longer.

The Who said it best: "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss."

[Spitfire of ATJ]

102. I know someone who's glued to the TV....

They want the new Pope to call himself "Peter" because that would be the last Pope and signal the Second Coming, Armageddon and the faithful rising up into the sky naked.

[Cush]

108. your friend will have to wait

Francis I

[Spitfire of ATJ]

109. Can't wait to hear from him....

I'm waiting for the Right Wing Freakout over the blue in the flag of Argentina looking like the one for Israel or worse, the UN.

[Paulie]

3. Wow

Wonder if someone used the wrong smoke bomb

[SoapBox]

4. Oh boy...a new cult leader.

It's SO weird, that the world is full of sheepeople.

[Plucketeer]

104. I couldn't have said it better

Must be hell to have to hope the NEXT life will be better'n this one. Of course, the reality won't sting, since they won't be aware of it.

[bitchkitty]

116. Whether or not you're a believer,

it is a major event. No pope has resigned in 600 years - that was shocking. I haven't been to Mass in years, but I'm still extremely interested in all of this.

That's all. You can put your superiority hat back on.

[sarisataka]

5. Surprisingly fast

it will be interesting to see if it was one of the ones the media focused on

[Duer 157099]

6. I wonder who

Cesare blackmailed and what it was about.

[Hayabusa]

12. LOL

He better watch out for Ezio, though...

[In_The_Wind]

8. Glad that's over!

[The Wielding Truth]

10. I really hope that this pope is a follower of the teachings of St.Paul and has an open

heart to all. I hope that love and not rules fill his heart.

[RainDog]

42. Paul hated homosexuals and women

sounds like the Catholic hierarchy has been right in line with the teachings of Paul for a while.

Christians need to toss a lot of what they claim was inspired. No god would have inspired the invective from Paul - who, of course, was trying to justify himself because he had no direct physical contact with Jesus and sparred with Peter and other disciples because of this.

Paul's teachings are grounded in a hostility toward Greek philosophy - his animosity was aimed at reason and the human body.

[yellowcanine]

70. I have a friend who maintains that Paul was gay.

I must admit he has a case. What was the deal with Paul and John Mark and then later Timothy, after all? Paul seems to have had a falling out with John Mark and then Timothy takes his place as best buddy and traveling companion of Paul. Hmmm.

[RainDog]

113. His raging homophobia fits the profile of a closeted homosexual

But who can know much of anything about people who lived in such a distant time and place?

Since Greek society didn't harbor the same hatred toward homosexuals, and since Christianity was at war with reason and the scientific method from its inception, with the letters from Paul to various churches - it could be that he conflated homosexuality with the Greek multi-verse of gods.

But Paul's real fight wasn't with pagan gods. His real fight was against philosophers who could make valid arguments that there was no god. This argument was made even then among educated Greeks.

Jefferson removed the writings of Paul from his version of the Bible because he thought Paul was worthless as a Christian.
I wonder if that had to do with Paul's rejection of and war against reason. Most of the founders of this nation and the founders of the revolution in France rejected Christianity as taught by all churches, but most especially the Catholic church, because reason was what made it possible to create democracy.

Christianity is feudalism in its current iteration and has been for a long, long time.

[DURHAM D]

81. Thank you.

I was shocked to see the comment.

[whistler162]

11. All hail Pope Quido I (Sarducci)

[Bay Boy]

90. It was Guido actually n/t

[JHB]

103. Gussied it up for his new "pope name"

[Bay Boy]

110. Works for me :)

[OldRedneck]

13. BFD

Hide the little boys.

[Myrina]

16. Amen. Now the news coverage can get back to 'normal' ...

... although I'm sure 'Vatican Idol' will continue until we know every detail about the new Poop and have to suffer through coverage of the ball-checking & installation-on-the-throne ceremony.

[Paulie]

20. Instead well get coverage of CPAC

[Myrina]

24. from coverage of one bunch of intolerant mouthbreathers to another ...

Is there really much difference?

[Paulie]

28. The hats?

[Myrina]

30. LOL!

[xxqqqzme]

96. Thank you.

I nearly choked on my last bite of potato pancake.

[Kennah]

114. One group is a bunch of men who wear dresses, and the other group are Catholic Bishops.

[morningglory]

41. Inspector Clousseau: "Ze Pape?!" nt

[progressoid]

56. The Kardashians

[Myrina]

64. Hah, no thanks ...

..... I was thinking more along the lines of my local news sites which have been taken over by 'chimney cam' .... meanwhile the newly installed state GOP legislature & Governor are preparing to knock down pretty much all of public education, the budget surplus, and the tax code ... it would be nice of any of the local joes had a clue what's headed their way before it actually hits.

[hlthe2b]

17. I hope for the best for the world's Catholics.

That said, my last remaining nod to Catholic traditions is the St. Francis ("protect my pet&quot medal I keep on my precious pup. I guess even I can't totally remove myself from those traditions/superstitions.

[OKNancy]

18. I find the whole thing fascinating

Not a believer, but it really is very interesting to me. I'm not going to through cold water on those who think it's an important event.

[Grassy Knoll]

19. HOLY SMOKE ! (badump, chee)

[RussBLib]

101. Holy Smoke and Mirrors, Batman! - n/t

ww

[AngryAmish]

21. I bet the new Pope is a guy this time.

[dreampunk]

22. golly, that's exciting,

does this one get to choose his outfits? Gold and purple with solid silver accessories, or silver and purple with solid gold accessories? Maybe we could get him to come over and slap the shit out of our house of representatives? Maybe do a serious protest on Wall Street? LOLHAHAHALOL

[snooper2]

23. WOOOHOOO, can they find some damn shark attacks now or something?

[Paul E Ester]

25. Smoke signals odd tradition

[tomm2thumbs]

40. maybe somebody just burned the carrot cake.... oops

MY CARROT CAKE!!!

[DeSwiss]

117. The ''real reason'' the smoke came out white.....

- The birds had to think of something. Too many people in their feeding grounds.....

[Eugene]

26. BBC: Rome conclave: New Pope chosen by cardinals

Source: BBC

13 March 2013 Last updated at 18:14 GMT

Rome conclave: New Pope chosen by cardinals

White smoke billowing from the Sistine Chapel chimney has announced to the world that cardinals gathered inside have elected a new Pope to head the Catholic Church.

Crowds in St Peter's Square cheered and bells rang out as the smoke appeared.

The name of the new Pope is expected to be announced shortly.

He will replace Pope Benedict XVI, who stepped down last month saying he was no longer strong enough to lead the Church.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21777494

[Capt. Obvious]

27. Boo!

This conclave should have goosed the ratings for at least a week if not longer.

I was expecting a few swerves and cliff hangers until this wrapped up.

And damn it, I was planning on watching the chimney while eating popcorn every night this week.

[PuraVidaDreamin]

39. They were having twitter withdrawal

All addicted to the electronic ways these days

[GodlessBiker]

29. Or, as Andy Borowitz said: No pope, just burning documents.

[tomm2thumbs]

31. maybe they were just burning the secret files & evidence

give it a day

[meegbear]

32. I just stepped out for a few puffs on my cigar ...

SHEESH are they ansy.

[Champion Jack]

33. I'm sure all the molested kids are celebrating...

[No Vested Interest]

68. Classy

[WCLinolVir]

77. As a molested child, I appreciate the cynicism.

[Champion Jack]

88. Thanks!

[OneGrassRoot]

34. There are DUzy-worthy comments throughout this thread!

[Arugula Latte]

35. Can't wait to hear what fresh hell we're in for.

[aristocles]

36. Here’s my take on what’s going on with the Cardinals . . .

The Cardinals are holding spring training at a very unusual place: Vatican City. They have an expanded roster of 115, with players invited from all over the world.
The team does not have a manager, as their last manager just retired. But the players are going to elect the new manager–-from among their own ranks!
There was talk that Tony LaRussa was being considered to return as Cardinals manager. But LaRussa is planning a move to a new position with MLB, to replace Commissioner Bud Selig. If Selig decides to step down, the rumor is that LaRussa would change his name and assume the title “Pope of Baseball”.

[denverbill]

37. This selection method sucks. I think Survivor: Pope Island or Top Pope would be better.

[hedgehog]

44. Seriously? The selection method does suck!

I'm afraid the institutional Church is in a lot of trouble unless we get a healthy strong guy in the mold of John XXII willing to make the needed changes and push them through.

[Capt. Obvious]

46. I love the show Diocese Rescue best

even though it's just a ripoff of Church Impossible.

[dbackjon]

53. Vatican's Next Drag Superstar

[AngryOldDem]

67. Or, if you're more sports minded:

The Sweet Sistine. That is an actual pool, and it made me laugh when I heard about it.

[swayne]

38. I hope this guy is from Africa. That would make conservative heads in America explode.

[csziggy]

43. So what is the Vatican seagull to do now?

Sea gull perches on Sistine Chapel smoke stack
Published: March 13, 2013
VATICAN CITY — With no pope, a sea gull is stealing the show at the papal conclave.

Smoke watching has become bird watching in St. Peter's Square after a sea gull perched atop the chimney that belches out smoke from the Sistine Chapel to signal whether or not a pope has been elected.

From the chapel's tiled roof, the gull had a commanding bird's eye view Wednesday of the sea of pilgrims eagerly waiting in the rain for papal tidings. Black smoke means no pope yet; white means "Habemus Papum" - ''We have a pope!"

The bird offered welcome comic relief.

Read more here: http://www.newsobserver.com/2013/03/13/2746861/sea-gull-perches-on-sistine-chapel.html#storylink=cpy

[tomm2thumbs]

51. makes Groundhog Day seem downright scientific!

oh yeah, 'science'. What's that?

[meow2u3]

62. Havemus sea gull!

[Botany]

45. holy pope smoke

[mwrguy]

47. We present our newest pope, Darth Pederast

the second

[MineralMan]

48. A new Hippopopemus?

[TygrBright]

49. That's very nice. n/t

[AtheistCrusader]

50. This is about as interesting as the next person in line for the british monarchy.

Zero relevance to anything in the US today. (Granted, DU is not specifically a US site...)

[hedgehog]

60. I respectfully differ with that assessment -

Something like a quarter of Americans are nominally Catholic, which for good or ill gives the bishops appointed by the Pope prominence in public affairs. To date, the bishops seem to have been the most successful party throwing a monkey wrench into Obama Care. Whether the bishops maintain their influence will depend on what direction the new pope takes.

[AtheistCrusader]

76. I don't see any electable pope reversing that in any politically relevant timeframe, but

fair enough, it does impact substantially more Americans than the next king/queen of England.

[ReRe]

52. Back in the 70s when we got a new Pope...

... my oldest son was pre-kindergarten. When I went to pick him up from pre-school and got him in the car, I asked him what he learned, and he said Well, we have a new Poke." I said a new Poke??? He said yeah, a new Poke! Then it hit me. He had been watching TV, I guess, as it was history and they let the kids watch stuff if it was of a historical nature. I smiled and tried not to laugh. When I got home, I went straight to the bedroom and buried my head in my pillow and laughed till I cried...

[renate]

89. that is really cute!

I bet he felt super important being able to tell you about world news, too. What a sweetie! I wish kids would stay that age forever.

[ReRe]

112. Oh, I could write a book on that one...

...child, i.e. Many many memorable stories. Yes, he did seem to know it was a historical moment of some kind and could see all the people and how happy they were. But, he was very sensitive if I laughed, so I tempered myself. I held my laughter so many times, as I never wanted him to stop expressing himself because he was afraid I would laugh "at him."

[Dawson Leery]

54. At least we will know the face of a new opponent.

[Kingofalldems]

55. I'd like to thank the Academy...

[Arkana]

57. And he shall be Pope John The Fisherman

*dances off the balcony to Primus*

[BlueManFan]

58. Yay! A Group Of Pedo Protectors and Enablers

elected a head pedo protector enabler. The ongoing criminal conspiracy continues.

[Roland99]

59. Alright! Go Cards!

Actually...we don't play in the Big East tournament until tomorrow night...just wanted to get that shout out out there.

[Javaman]

61. I guess they were tire of the "plain food" and didn't want to burn up their weekend. nt

[baldguy]

65. I know who it is:

Pope Triumph I:

[rhett o rick]

66. The next Pope will be Italian. Part of the plea bargain. nm

[fitman]

71. I'd like him to be a black one and see the Christian racists revolting.

many lulz will be had..

[baldguy]

78. Revolting Christian racists? Isn't that redundant?

[Paulie]

80. Depends on where you put the stress on which

Syl-LAB-ble

[geek tragedy]

73. I predict a homophobic male supremacist authoritarian.

Anyone care to bet on this?

[WCLinolVir]

83. I predict a giant fu*&*ng hypocrite.

[AtheistCrusader]

84. Could use Sarah Palin then.

Increase the frequency of the 'got the job HOLY SHIT I QUIT' sine wave too.

[yellowcanine]

74. Dang. They didn't take any chances on being misunderstood....

?ve=1

[WCLinolVir]

75. I imagine they wanted to choose quickly so that the report the

former pope has locked up stays that way. I am certain it is the one who all the other dirty sobs can count on to keep his mouth shut and go to bat for an international group of child molesters. What a guy.

[Ghost Dog]

79. Well, they're already fucking up, as usual, if it takes this long to actually tell us

who they elected an hour, now, or so ago?

Transparancy? What's that?

Edit: ... Connecting to RT for the latest, LIVE... (Joke: RT's banging on about drone assassinations and such frivolities... This does it (in Spanish): http://www.rtve.es/noticias/mas-24/ ).

[Wolf Frankula]

82. And He Shall be Called Pope George Ringo

It's about time.

Wolf

[Misskittycat]

93. Good one. n/t

[Arkana]

85. My interest in this process lasts just as long as it takes for the new pope to introduce himself

and decide on a name.

After that, screw it.

[CalFresh]

86. This will be

the last Pope. So he will take the name of the first Pope. Peter.

Revelation 22:13
I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

[Ghost Dog]

91. Well...

...

[Auntie Bush]

87. When do we the people find out who the new Pope is?

Does someone announce it soon or do we have to wait till he just appears in the window? Reminds me of Doggie in the Window.

[Ghost Dog]

92. The latter.

Still pending.

Maybe he'll get assassinated (with or without drone) before he gets to appear on the balcony.

Then... No problem. They'd just have to vote again, and again, until they get the result the PTB can live with, I guess.

[Kolesar]

97. Clear smoke: vaporizer

Blue smoke: a blunt

[arikara]

98. Thank goodness, maybe now I'll stop having nightmares

of the inquisition and stop worrying about the little children that people are sending over there to "sing" for those old bastards.

[Mosby]

99. I'm betting on a hispanic pope. nt

[bklyncowgirl]

100. I can't believe I'm so interested in this--once a Catholic always a Catholic

I haven't been in a Catholic church since my mother's funeral. But I'm listening to my radio at work, riveted. Despite the fact that I know deep in my heart that I'm most likely going to like this pope as little or even less than the last pope, if that's possible, hope springs eternal. Someone said on some show the other day that liberal Catholics are Unitarians who like fancy ceremonies and that may be true. When I go to church these days it's to my husband's Lutheran church. I like the pastor and his wife very much but somehow there's something missing. Maybe it's the incense since there's very little difference in the ceremony. Maybe it's that Catholic tradition of service to the poor. Maybe it's the Liberation theologians I knew during my days in the US out of Central America movement. Whatever it is for me it's Catholic or nothing.

I know when they make the announcement I'll almost certainly go back to being a cynical, secular ex-Catholic agnostic but for now, I'm waiting...

[Ghost Dog]

105. Bergoglio, Buenos Aires. Francisco.

(Francis).

Commentators saying: A shock, a surprise.

[dipsydoodle]

106. They're stil not getting the Falklands.

.

[Ghost Dog]

107. ... That would depend on who joins in that fight...

... And there will be a fight... On which side.

[bitchkitty]

115. He looks like Junior Soprano. n/t