'Not giving up on my son': Father of 9-year-old stowaway speaks out

[Sunlei]

Source: NBC

The father of a 9-year-old boy who sneaked onto a flight to Las Vegas last week said his son had been a problem child for years – but said he couldn’t understand how the boy was able to board the flight.

“How can you let a 9-year-old sneak past security, get on the plane without anyone stopping him, questioning him or anything?” the boy’s father, who did not want to be identified, told Minneapolis radio station WCCO.
“We didn’t know our son went up to the airport, got past security check, got on the plane – we didn’t know that,” the father said. “We’re not mind readers.”

This was not the first time the boy had left the house without letting his parents know, but he usually ended up spending the night at a friend’s house.

According to the email from Moore, the boy stole a car just weeks before his solo flight to Vegas, leading to his arrest on “Highway 35,” the Star-Tribune said. The email also reportedly said the boy had alleged that his mother had been “stabbed and died,” and that the boy sometimes went to a waterpark and “waits until a large family is entering and joins them.”

Read more: http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/08/20868668-not-giving-up-on-my-son-father-of-9-year-old-stowaway-speaks-out?lite

---

Very creative intelligent 9 year old! "The system" seems to be frustrated with him and his family. I hope they don't ruin their lives.

[valerief]

1. The boy must have gotten the idea from that god-awful movie Love Actually. nt

[Sunlei]

2. maybe. I'm impressed w/ this child look at him in the airport video. cool kid!

[Nine]

29. What do you mean?

They never show him, in the video or anywhere else. And I find your reaction very odd.

[Heather MC]

3. Hmmm I don't see how the Amusement park trick is possible

Most parks we go to make sure we are all individually holding our tickets or passes as we walk through

My sons have had to show there own passes since they were 3.

If this little boy thinks it's so easy to be on his own. Let him be. Maybe after a week or two he will come home for good.

I know he is only 9, the world is not safe but if he has the gumption to hope on a plane let him go.

I tell my children if you think there is better go find it, but I doubt you will find anyone willing to love you unconditionally, clothe you, feed you, educate you, buy toys for you, and expect nothing in return. but if you think there is another person like that out there that can do it better than me and love you better than your father and I. Go find them. but if you can't, I will still be here for you no matter what.

[glowing]

4. It seems to me that the kid should be introduced to something fun like magic

He seems to be a master of getting in and out of places. It would be better to direct him into something like illusions and magic, than to see him become the world's best theif... I could just see a child like this becoming that person who breaks into something and takes something for the thrill of it, not so much the need of money.

[Sunlei]

5. yes, I hope he is directed to use his exceptional powers for good stuff :)

[Myrina]

6. Exactly - rather than squelch it and turn him into a lifelong criminal, channel it ....

Kid's got some creative-thinking talents, and a definite risk-taking streak!!

[awoke_in_2003]

28. He might grow up to be the next David Blaine...

The world doesn't want that

[jberryhill]

7. That kid is a genius

Taking the luggage to the restaurant and leaving it there to be "watched" while he skipped the tab is, IMHO, brilliant.

He has to be a keen observer of human behavior to realize that if he shuffles through security as if he were part of a family with several kids, then he'll probably get through on the assumption that mom or dad already showed the boarding passes for all of them.

That kid has amazing problem solving talent.

[msanthrope]

54. This kid will go far, with a little guidance. nt

[AllyCat]

8. Watch the airline turn around and charge a $150 unaccompanied minor fee

on the family.

[bigworld]

9. The parents really need to have a better idea of what this boy is up to

He sounds brilliant, sure, but his history is calling out for way better supervision.

[hamsterjill]

14. My thoughts exactly.

Before the father starts blaming security, etc., he needs to explain why HE didn't know where his son was.

The responsibility begins with the parents. And certainly, there are issues as to how this young boy was able to do what he did, but again - it begins with responsible parenting first. No nine year old should be unaccounted for, especially one that (as the father admits) has had some issues.

[TheDebbieDee]

32. The father says that the boy was supposed to be sleeping over at a friend's home....

But given the boy's history, his parents should have been suspicious and followed up to make sure the boy was where he should have been.

[LisaL]

34. That's not what father said.

He wasn't "supposed to have been sleeping over at friend's home..."
Father didn't know where he was. When the child left home before without telling his parents, he usually ended up sleeping at the friend's house.

[Orsino]

24. ...if they don't want to look like they have given up. n/t

[fitman]

10. Can't believe everyone here is giving this kid kudo's

He is going to be a world class con man one of these days....

He is going to be pulling of a Bernie Madoff and then everyone is going to be wringing their eyes..Ohh how did this ever happen"..

[LisaL]

23. Assuming he even makes it.

He stole a delivery truck, smashed in into a police car.
Nobody died, but if he pulls something like this again, next time it might not turn out this way.

[JimDandy]

33. The question is: WHY is he doing these things?

Either something is unhealthy in their family dynamics, or the boy has a mental health issue that needs to be diagnosed and addressed. In any case, the situation is worrisome.

[TheDebbieDee]

38. Maybe it isn't any of the reasons you stated. Maybe the boy is just BORED!

Many bright children become tired of finding answers to textbook problems in classrooms and seek out real world problems to solve.

In this instance, maybe the boy decided that he wanted to work out how he would get from point A to point B and back with no money.

Then again, he may be a future serial killer.......

[JimDandy]

49. He may indeed be bored

Last edited Wed Oct 9, 2013, 05:49 PM - Edit history (1)

AND also facing one of the problems I described. His actions, while creative on the fly, are impulsive, opportunistic and dangerous. I hope this family gets help, before he does something even more dangerous or harmful.

------------------------------
...Reporters asked the crying dad if he felt he could provide his son with the help he needs at home or if he thought protective services might help.

"I can provide it at home. All I need is help," the da said through tears. "I need the resources. I'm tired of people saying he's a minor and there's nothing we can do. There's something somebody can do. I don't want to see my son hurt. I miss my son. I want my son home."

...The health department official said that the boy's mental health and safety would be evaluated by county authorities.

The father also expressed some anger at the airline and airport.

"How would you let a 9-year-old child go through security check without stopping him and questioning him?" he asked. "He's not a terrorist. He's a 9-year-old child. He went through screening. He boarded the plane. How can that be?"
-------------------------

Video link to father's press conference:

http://gma.yahoo.com/9-old-airplane-stowaways-father-pleads-help-wily-180200012--abc-news-topstories.html?vp=1

[bunnies]

40. A con man or worse.

Its not exactly normal for a 9 year old to claim his mother was "stabbed and died". Wouldnt surprise me at all if little Ted Bundy there found himself in a much darker place.

[Sheldon Cooper]

53. I'm thinking the same thing.

People can applaud him all they want, but there is something wrong with this kid. Really wrong.

[The Second Stone]

51. But this kid is already on our radar, Bernie Madoff took another 7 decades to get

identified.

[skepticscott]

52. Exactly..this kid is

a serious, if not pathological, liar, deceiver and manipulator, who already seems to think that rules don't apply to him. Where he got it, who knows, but intervention is needed, if it's not already to late.

[riverwalker]

11. Unfortunately

this is kind of kid who SHOULD go to college, he has original and critical thinking and "outlier" skills, he could be brilliant. The next Einstein, Edison, or Watson and Crick! But he probably won't even finish high school.
Instead some idiot 1% kid will take his place.

[LisaL]

18. Go to College?

Is he even going to school? With the sneaking around described, whey would he have time?

[Throd]

20. Depends

College can also beat the originality and critical thinking out of a kid.

[Mira]

12. This kid could be a pretty classic sociopath. Selfish, Smart, charming, ruthless.

A really serious problem for possibly loving and innocent parents.
I believe it's 4 % of the population born with sociopathic tendencies.

[NoodleyAppendage]

27. Bingo. He's exhibiting textbook sociopathy.

Currently would meet DSM diagnostic criteria for conduct disorder. I wouldn't be surprised to hear of a history of animal abuse. Everyone is going on about how smart he is, but most successful sociopaths are. The biggest question is whether his sociopathy can be tamed? I suspect not, but hope for the best in all cases like this.

[bunnies]

36. Exactly. nt

[Happyhippychick]

13. Uh, the DAD is wondering how the kids snuck onto a plane when he can't keep tabs on a 9 year old?

I think the airline is probably wondering the same thing about him!

[Sunlei]

16. He didn't sneak. Look at the TSA vid. Child placed shoes in the bin, pass TSA & walk past gateman

Don't think any parent can keep close enough 'tabs' on this child. He has a father who cares about him and the article said his Mom works at the airport.

I hope someone wealthy from his huge city helps him and his family with a productive education. Child needs something good to stimulate that busy brain of his.

[LisaL]

19. Hah? That's called sneaking.

[Sunlei]

21. In flight staff only noticed him because he sat alone. Next time he will sit by people :)

[LisaL]

22. Oh I see.

You are suggesting he should try this again but improve his technique? What do you think was going to happen to him if he arrived in Las Vegas to meet this "gaming buddy" and nobody noticed was was by himself?

[Sunlei]

25. I think the child will 'improve his technique'. Sure it's not safe for a 9 year old to travel alone

Plus without guidance and the troubles the authorities will subject the family to, the child has a high chance to have his life ruined.

He could be President one day

[TheDebbieDee]

35. I agree. This kid is smart! Smart people don't repeat their mistakes......

The next go round, if there is a next go round, this kid will "hide" in a group of people.

Although, I read that the kid got into a water park by blending in amongst a large family - since he saw that this trick worked, why didn't he stay with that method?

[LisaL]

37. Seriously?

You are discussing how a 9 year old can improve his technique so next time he can get to whatever place he is going? WTF do you think is going to happen to a 9 year old alone in a place like Las Vegas?

[Nine]

39. People are acting like this is a Disney movie.

Ha ha, isn't it cute and funny and clever that a nine-year-old pulled this off? No, it's not. This is a troubled boy who needs intervention. He did something dishonest and very dangerous.

[bunnies]

45. Not to mention...

Most seem to be ignoring the completely abnormal behavior that would prompt a kid of that age to say that his mother was "stabbed and died". As another DUer pointed out, this kid is exhibiting classic sociopathic behavior. Youre right. Its not cute or funny at all.

[TheDebbieDee]

43. Get over yourself - you act as though you know this young man is learning disabled......

But chances are, this young man has already spent time trying to figure out what he did wrong. If not, all he has to do is pick up a newspaper and read about how he was found out.

Either way, dial back your OUTRAGE and stop writing that Minority Report. All of the bad things that you have imagined could have happened didn't actually happen.

[LisaL]

46. He also stole a truck and smashed it into a police car.

The reason he wasn't charged for that is because of his tender age. Again, WTF do you think is going to happen as he gets older?
I fail to see this adoration you have going for the activities this child reportedly engages in.

[TheDebbieDee]

47. Oh, no! I don't adore the child. I think he should be locked up in a for-profit prison

for life. Because, he COULD kill someone in the future or he COULD con people out of their money if he isn't locked up right away!

I'm through with you and your outrage. Buh-bye...........

[LisaL]

61. And I am through with you.

Considering you are swooning over 9 year old's behavior that is very dangerous and would have resulted in a criminal record if he was older. What is there to discuss with you?

[JimDandy]

69. Clearly, something IS wrong.

His father had previously asked for help controlling his willful child and was refused help by Social Services. He requested help from the boy's school after he was suspended a couple times for fighting and they did just recently start to help him and now have a plan in place to work with him.

It took this incident for Social Services to finally say they would evaluate the boy for mental health and safety issues.

The father was in tears at the news conference he gave and clearly at the end of his capacity and knowledge on how to help his child.

Heartbreaking...

[Sunlei]

41. The flight he got on was very empty. unlucky plane I guess :) most flights I've been on are packed.

[karynnj]

56. I suspect that jail is many times more likely than becoming President

That he is smart goes without saying, but he is totally unable to follow any societal norms.

The child already is ruining the more prosaic lives of his mother and father and likely his sibling. They are the ones who people are questioning as having done a poor job parenting him. That is clearly true, but it is also true that there are kids MUCH harder to raise than others - and he is one.

The sad thing is that from the dad's ACTIONS, in contrast to his words, he has given up. No responsible parent just assumes that their kid - missing at night - was probably at a friend's house. There is no story of him desperately calling every friend he had looking for him.

It sounds like you are closer to the kid's age than parent's, but think back. Did you, a sibling or a friend ever stay out all night with no permission from parents as a preteen? I remember as a kid - that we were told that we had to call to let them know even if we were just stopping off with friends on the way home from school.

As to other things - stealing cars and driving them etc - that is not smart, just incredibly bad. He clearly does not have a normal sense of right and wrong. I feel sorry for the parents who clearly have a child who may be beyond their ability to care for - no matter how much they love him.

[Sunlei]

58. actually yes as a kid I 'stayed out all night' several times. On my own well before 18 too.

I turned out ok, was lucky I guess

[karynnj]

59. Even under 10 years old?

How did your parents deal with that? I know I would have been a nervous wreck if any of my 3 daughters would have done that when they were under 18. At nine - forget it.

Glad you turned out ok!

[bunnies]

42. Could you please provide a link to this video you keep referencing?

Ive googled and can find no such thing.

[TheDebbieDee]

44. They've shown the video on MSNBC a couple of times. Try checking their site.

[bunnies]

48. All I can find is generic news vid.

Oh well.

[Sunlei]

57. NBC video they had TSA footage.Kid has nice shoes he placed in the bin & he's neatly dressed :)

The link is on the op.

[bunnies]

62. There is no TSA video at that link.

Only generic news video.

[Sunlei]

64. IN as a part of the NBC news video, in the op link.

yesterdays NBC news they showed a lot more of the TSA footage.

[bunnies]

65. I understand what the word "IN" means.

There is no TSA footage IN that clip. There is no surveillance video IN that clip whatsoever.

This is what TSA video looks like, fyi:

[Sunlei]

66. Thanks Bunny!

[Nine]

73. You're not referring to the computer re-enactment, are you? (nt)

[skepticscott]

55. What I'd like to know is

how he got as far as the security screening without anyone verifying that he had a boarding pass. That happens at the front end, every time, or is supposed to. Whatever TSA agent let him past without that ought to be out on their ass.

[AnotherMcIntosh]

15. Obviously, the TSA employees were too distracted by giving free feel-ups to paying passengers.

and giving retaliatory "pat-downs."




Some could blame Janet Napolitano.


They certain cannot blame President Obama because it's all the Republicans' fault.

[liberal N proud]

17. A parent should never give up on their child

However they need to do whatever it takes to guide the child in the right direction. It is great that the father supports his son, lets just hope he has the ability to provide guidance to keep that child on the right path and out of trouble. He sounds like a brilliant kid.

[Brigid]

26. This kid perfectly exemplifies the old axiom:

"Too smart for his own good."

[Yo_Mama]

30. He'll either be in jail or a tremendous success as an adult

This boy is brilliant!

Unfortunately what he is doing is not all that safe, so intervention is required, but there's a lot there.

[Nine]

31. Parents are negligent.

Your son disappears and you don't call the police? Have they completely missed the Ariel Castro story? If you want to prove how much you love your son, maybe act like you give a damn when he's missing. Oh, he went to go sleep at someone else's house? Yeah, that's perfectly normal. Don't bother to actually go get him and bring him home. Don't bother to call the police and tell them you have a missing child. The only reason this has become routine for this kid is that the parents didn't nip it in the bud the first time it happened. I'm not a perfect parent but I know where my elementary-school-age child is at all times. That seems like the bare minimum of parenting.

[sybylla]

63. And, unfortunately in this age of poverty minimum wage, bare minimum parenting is...

all some can afford.

My BIL used to work construction on the pm/night shift. His wife worked days. They did this because they couldn't afford day care. One day, after breakfast, he fell asleep on the couch. Accidentally, of course, but that didn't stop his 4-y-o from unlocking the door and taking a walk. Thankfully, he was spotted by a neighbor and the police were called before my nephew could get into trouble or, worse, hurt.

This kind of thing can happen to hard-working, well-meaning parents, and very loving parents. Imagine trying to be a good parent with two or three jobs, trying to make ends meet. And add to that a problem child - one who sounds like he has some very serious psychological issues that probably aren't getting addressed if the parents lack sufficient health insurance coverage.

It's always way easier to judge and pontificate from a distance. Empathy or even a small amount of understanding takes work. And thought.

[Nine]

67. I understand parenting is more difficult when poverty is a factor.

But even if this family is impoverished, I don't understand not calling the police or at least conducting your own search when your 9-year-old is missing overnight. I don't know whether poverty is a factor to begin with, but it's a two-parent home so that's already an advantage lots of other families don't have.

[JimDandy]

68. Yes, and this father had even asked for help for his willful child and was refused! n/t

[MADem]

50. The father can't figure it out, even after the kid explains it?

...the boy sometimes went to a waterpark and “waits until a large family is entering and joins them.”

That should be a clue! The person who checks the tickets isn't the same one who does the pat-down...and when it gets busy in the security area, chaos reigns. People pay way more attention to adults than children.

He probably watched way too much FAMILY GUY....after all, that's how Stewie visited Jolly Farm in Merrie Olde England!

[BainsBane]

70. I was told the parents didn't even report he kid missing

It was the police who contacted them. It's not in this article, however. If that's true, something is obviously up at the home. I don't like seeing a child referred to as a sociopath because he gets on a trip to Vegas. These parents could be negligent or abusive. Authorities have to figure out what's going on.

[LisaL]

71. Yes, they didn't report him missing.

Father admitted he just assumed kid was staying with a friend.
Kid already has been in trouble. Just 2 weeks prior this kid apparently stole a delivery truck and smashed it into police car.
I don't think his father is able to keep track of the kid.

[bigworld]

72. And he was gone for how many hours?

I don't know the situation, but this smells like neglectful parenting to me.

[skepticscott]

74. Oh please

He's not being called a sociopath "because he went on a trip to Vegas". He's being flagged as a potential sociopath because of how he got there-by lying and deceiving people at every turn, in a way not at all like a normal 9 year old. And whether you like it or not, children that old can exhibit sociopathic behavior.