40+ New Russian ICBMs This Year, U.S. Revives "Duck and Cover"

[EEO]

Increasing tensions between Russia and America has a solution from the 1950s...

40+ New Russian ICBMs This Year, U.S. Revives "Duck and Cover"

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari): President Barack Obama announced today America's public schools will be introduced to the old "Duck and Cover" film and begin duck and cover drills starting at the beginning of the 2015-2016 school year. The decision comes only two days after Russian President Vladimir Putin announced Russia would be constructing over 40 new nuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs) by the end of 2015.

And don't forget...

"Logs, large holes or crevices, tables, and a whole host of other things can also be used for nuclear bomb protection. Just make sure you close your eyes and cover any exposed skin to protect both from the blast," explained Obama.

TNA


Go 1950s...

40+ New Russian ICBMs This Year, U.S. Revives "Duck and Cover"

[Journeyman]

1. "Just remember, children: Face away from the window. The greatest danger in a nuclear attack. . .

is flying glass."


I've never forgotten that sage advice, rendered with sincerity by my grammar school teachers.

Yep.

But then, following through, doesn't the greatest danger in a nuclear attack become molten glass in my ass?

[AtheistCrusader]

2. Satire 'news' site.

[malthaussen]

3. Regardless of satire, I can remember...

... both being free of nuclear destruction as long as I stayed in line and didn't lean on the horses, and then how Reagan told us all we needed was a shovel, a hole, and an old door.

"no more than 10 to 20 million killed, tops! Uh, depending on the breaks." General Turgidson, Doctor Strangelove.

-- Mal