95% of women who have had abortions don't regret it

[gobears10]

Ninety-five percent of women who have had abortions do not regret the decision to terminate their pregnancies, according to a study published last week in the multidisciplinary academic journal PLOS ONE.

The study was carried out by researchers from the Bixby Center for Global Reproductive Health at UC San Francisco’s School of Medicine, and from the university’s division of biostatistics.

Its conclusions come after a three-year research period in which nearly 670 women were regularly surveyed on the subject of their abortions. The sample group was diverse with regard to standard social metrics (race, education, and employment) and on the matter of what the study calls pregnancy and abortion circumstances. Financial considerations were given as the reasons for an abortion by 40 percent of women; 36 percent had decided it was “not the right time;” 26 percent of women found the decision very or somewhat easy; 53 percent found it very or somewhat difficult.

Full article: http://time.com/3956781/women-abortion-regret-reproductive-health/

[SheilaT]

1. No surprise.

The anti-choice crowd would have you believe that women make the decision to have an abortion as casually as they might buy a t-shirt. The reality is, women think long and hard about it, although sometimes it's an easier decision than others.

I seem to recall that surveys about whether women regret having children come up with about half of them regretting.

[SunSeeker]

2. Exactly right. nt

[Hepburn]

3. Frankly, I know more women who gave up children...

...from unplanned pregnancies who later regret this far, far more than those who had abortions.

BTW: I am 66 years old and graduated from HS in 1966. There simply were no pregnant girls in my class...wink, wink. Some went "away to school" and some went for an extended stay to visit "grandma." What I do know is that those who were forced to carry a child to term and then chose to give up the child have far, far more emotional trauma at this day and time than those in my age group who had abortions. In my general age group, when there was a child born in the 1960's, it is not only the child that is of interest, but his/her children, etc. Comparing the women whom I know who had abortions after Roe v. Wade, I simply do not know of one who has a regret. An abortion is over and done...a child carried to term and given up does not seem to be forgotten because it is never over and done.

JMHO

[hamsterjill]

5. This is a brilliant post on this subject.

I concur 100%. I'm a little younger than you, but grew up in a small town (wink, wink) and had some of the same situations occur. I don't know of any woman who has had an abortion that has regretted doing it.

[Hepburn]

7. Wow...thank you for the compliment!

Yeah, I am originally from a small town -- at least small by California standards. Even tho I live in the greater LA area now, there was only one high school in town in the 1060s.

[StevieM]

19. I think you probably meant to write "in the 1960s."

The 1060s is when William the Conquerer invaded England.

[me b zola]

12. Thank you for this post

So many of the women who were forced to carry to term and relinquish their child never speak about it because it is so painful, and the shame that was heaped upon them from what I have seen lasts a lifetime. Yet we need those stories so that we may understand women's rights and our history as women.

'The Girls Who Went Away' by Anne Fessler is a book that chronicles this era for women and I highly recommend it to anyone who cares about women's issues and rights. My mother was sent away to a home and was forced to work without pay as a nanny for a wealthy married couple, all to shame her into seeing that she would never be able to provide a life for me like a wealthy, married couple could. I cannot imagine the torture that must have been for her, the sadness in her eyes when she speaks about it-50+ years later- is too much for me to bear.

Meanwhile, I've never met a woman that regrets an abortion. Keep abortion legal and easily accessible. And stop the shaming of women by saying that they should be rare. (this was not targeted at you as you seem to feel the same way).

[Hepburn]

15. Thank you for your post and...

...I am so sorry for what happened to your mother.

I guess because I am of the age when pregnancy was a total immoral sin when visited upon an unmarried woman that I have seen and know of so many adoption disasters in my general age group. The worst one I have heard of...but only by being told about this...was a child that was a product of rape, the parents forced their daughter to carry to term and give up the child, a boy, for adoption. Years later, the child as an adult hunted down his "real" mother and wanted the information from her about his bio-father. OMG...!!! Does she lie...or does she tell the truth...and the trauma to her and the potential trauma to the young adult son if he learns the truth about his bio-dad? What a mess.

[me b zola]

23. I can only speak antidotally, but I do read many, many personal stories

From my experience, most mothers whose child was conceived by rape, still very much love their child. The dozens of women that I have spoken to and read do not connect the child with the monster who raped her. I believe that it is not how or by whom the child was conceived, but rather did the woman want to carry the pregnancy to term, did she want to mother that child.

On the other side of that coin is the adoptee. I have met many that work tirelessly for their original birth certificate but have no desire to search. Many others, like myself, never set up a fantasy of their natural mother and origins, we just need to know the truth. Truth is a big deal to us, and it doesn't take too much meditation of the subject to understand why when your identity and origins are taken from you and kept under lock and key never for you to see. I have met a few adoptees who were conceived by rape and do not regret for a moment in knowing their story. Really, we are not fragile. We are adults who deserve to know our origins, for better or worse.

[StevieM]

36. I agree, most first mothers who I have come across, whose children were the product of rape, deeply

Last edited Fri Jul 17, 2015, 09:15 PM - Edit history (1)

regret the loss of that child.

Do you know the story of Myst, the 1st mom from New Zealand? She has been pretty active on the adoption reform blogs over the years. Her child was the product of rape and she grieves for that child to this day. (17 1/2 years later.)

[me b zola]

38. No, I don't recall ever reading her (Myst)

For thousands of years women have given birth to and deeply loved children that are conceived of rape. If a woman doesn't wish to parent, most will end the pregnancy as they have for thousands of years. This entire meme of "oh my god, i chose to carry a pregnancy to term and now the thought of the child that I carried and gave birth to fills me with awful memories" seems to be a concoction of the adoption industry. Of course safe, medial abortions should be legal and easily available, but a woman who cannot stand the thought of carrying a particular pregnancy to term will find a way to terminate it.

PM me with the name of the blog or message board that Myst posts to. I'm always amazed at how many I read yet almost everyday find new ones.

[StevieM]

18. Excellent post. Our society is totally ignorant of the life-long pain and grief often suffered by

women who have lost a child to adoption.

Most first mothers mourn for their lost child until their dying day, even if there is ultimately a reunion. The story of women who forget and happily move on with their lives is usually just that--a story. It rarely works out that way.

I remember reading a post on another blog by a pro-life man saying "all I ask for is 9 months." He didn't seem to understand that what he was really asking for is the rest of that woman's life. (Not that he had the right to ask for anything.)

[senz]

29. That's a very important point, StevieM.

Most women sense that if they carry a fetus to term and give birth to a child, they are going to care forever about the fate of that child. Those nine months create a deep blood relationship and feelings that don't necessarily dry up with adoption. Women think long and hard about getting an abortion, and when they decide to do so, it is almost always for good reasons. A woman knows if she is ready to mother a child, or another child. She knows her own capabilities, her finances, her strength and stamina, her psychological readiness, her home situation. Most women who have children do so because they believe they can deal with motherhood.

Which is how it should be. It is not fair to the woman or the future child to force her bring it to term when she knows she's not ready and willing. That's why it really should be the woman's decision. No one else can make it for her.

I can also understand why some women who are not ready or able to be mothers would prefer to give birth and then give their child up for adoption. But I think many sense that they're giving up a part of their heart along with it. I hope that adopted children know that being given up does not mean being unloved. Sometimes it's the most loving thing the woman could do under the circumstances.

[niyad]

4. k and r. none of the women I know who have had abortions has ever regretted that decision.

a lot of women I know who had children have said that, if they could do it over, they would choose differently.

would you please x-post this in women's rights and issues?

[lewebley3]

6. Just shows, that Women are good decision makers, they know what they are doing!

They don't need government help:

[senz]

30. Absolutely.

[Hepburn]

8. I wish I could rec this thread more than once!

I am female I came of age before abortion was legal. The trauma vested upon women back then? Unreal and unwarranted.

Please, please let us never forget that women can and do have the right AND THE ABILITY to make the right decisions for themselves! I know my fellow DUers are on the correct side of this issue, but let us make sure that our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren never have to wage the war again!

[JI7]

9. i would say there are probably more who regret NOT getting an abortion

[caraher]

14. I was thinking about that myself

It would be a hard thing to study, as I'd imagine there would be such a strong taboo against admitting such regrets that any survey would yield only a lower limit.

[yallerdawg]

10. Facts rear their ugly head again.

Women know these things.

Won't change the male fantasy of knowing what's best for women. Which is just another false belief!

[Dawson Leery]

11. k/r

The Fox Universe will never hear this though.

[LiberalEsto]

13. Sadly, both of my daughters have regretted theirs

One, in her sense of guilt, has in recent years condemned me for the liberal -- Unitarian, pagan, feminist -- values with which we raised them, and said she has considered becoming a Catholic. She arranged for the abortion on her own and didn't tell us; we found out later by accident, 11 years ago.

[StevieM]

17. Is it OK if I ask a couple questions?

What about the other daughter? Why does she regret it?

Also, did the daughter you wrote about never get pregnant again? Is that a factor in her disappointment?

[LiberalEsto]

21. The daughter I wrote about is expecting her first baby in late September.

The other - it's complicated and I'd rather not get into it.

[hifiguy]

16. What a surprise.

NOT!

[Gormy Cuss]

20. IMHO most of the regret was attached to the illegality of the procedure

and the shame of premarital sex, the "stain" of out of wedlock births, etc. Mostly the regret was tied to breaking religious laws.

[valerief]

22. Only 95%? Shit, I'd expect at least 99%. Abortions are life-savers. nt

[caraher]

24. Don't forget there's essentially an industry devoted to making women regret it

5 percent regret isn't that much, when you consider the size and reach of just the religious groups who relentlessly equate abortion with murder.

[senz]

32. They do, and it's cruel. Antichoice people do not care about women.

I believe that most of them dislike and disrespect women -- even when they themselves are women.

[sinkingfeeling]

25. I think that's pretty spot on from my personal experiences.

[BlueJazz]

26. This thread is a great read. I halfway knew some of the feelings here but this moved me.

[DrBulldog]

27. Wow. What a no-brainer. I've known this my entire life.

And they actually had to do a scientific study to confirm it? No wonder the rest of the world thinks we're idiots.

[DrBulldog]

28. Now let's have the follow-up study that would show ...

... the large percentage of women who have HAD children who have regretted it!!!

[Warpy]

31. We've tried telling men this for many years

but too many of them prefer to cling to the fantasy of the life long regret over the baby we never got to meet.

Phooey. The only thing my friends felt was relief that it was over. All of them went on to have kids once they were in more stable situations and still didn't regret the pregnancies they ended.

Sorry, guys. Our healthcare is different and this is how we save our lives. We'd rather have 100% effective birth control. Abortion is what happens when it isn't.

[beveeheart]

33. Well, let me be the first to confirm that I don't regret at all having

had an illegal abortion in 1961. I was 17 yrs old, married to my high school sweetheart who was 20 and we had a 3 month old baby. My mother made the arrangements and some lady I didn't know drove me to a location in Pennsylvania about 2 hours from where I lived. The procedure took place in what looked like a doctor's office and I guess I was there about 2 hours. It cost $300 cash. Several days later we heard that the doctor had been arrested and I remember feeling relieved that I wasn't there when that happened. With the support of my husband, family and favorite school teachers, I enrolled in college when my baby was 9 months old and obtained a teaching degree 4 yrs later. I don't know what my life would have been like if I had had 2 babies so close together. I know women manage somehow when that happens, but I'm glad that I didn't have to find out.

[StevieM]

35. According to the BLS inflation calculator, $300 in 1961 was worth $2386 in today's money.

It was fortunate that you were able to come up with it.

[beveeheart]

37. My father was postmaster in our small town and

Mom was a bank teller. I don't know if my husband's parents contributed, but they were middle class also. I remember the amount because I had never had that much cash in my hands before.

[get the red out]

34. I have tried

To present facts like this to a co-worker who persists that the studies she has read are the opposite. These Christian fuckers always have their own studies but the other studies mean nothing. And this woman has an Ivy League education. BUT education is so easily negated by Church attendance.