Trump's Lawyer Claims to Be Voice on Access Hollywood Tape

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hoping to put to rest a mystery that has long bedeviled the nation, Donald J. Trump’s personal lawyer, John Dowd, revealed on Monday that it is actually his voice that appears on the notorious “Access Hollywood” tape.

Speaking to reporters, Dowd said that the so-called locker-room talk attributed to Trump had actually been carefully crafted by the former reality-show host’s legal team and then read aloud by Dowd himself.

Additionally, Dowd said that comments widely thought to have been made by Trump indicating that he believed that Frederick Douglass was still alive were also Dowd’s handiwork.

“President Trump was about to say something about whether Frederick Douglass was alive or not, and I stepped in at that moment and said that he was,” Dowd said. “I stand by that statement.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trumps-lawyer-claims-to-be-voice-on-access-hollywood-tape

[Beartracks]

1. Well, we suspected SOMEONE had their hand up the dummy's butt...

... but I thought it was Putin!



=============

[NCjack]

2. Perhaps two people had hands up Trump's ass. nt

[Roland99]

3. It was elvis

[Lucky Luciano]

4. Borowitz is awesome on so many levels here! nt

[marble falls]

5. Brilliant. Freaking brilliant. Borowitz does the most believable at first look satire of all times.

[brush]

6. Guess trump thinks we're all idiots who can't believe our lying ears.

He floated that bullshit last week that the "Access Hollywood" tape was fake.

Not it's not fake. What's fake is that comb-over, that orange tan and your alleged busines acumen.

[SunSeeker]

7. LOL

[yurbud]

8. Everybody needs a lawyer like him: "I didn't cheat on you, honey...

..my lawyer did!"

[Gothmog]

9. I love good satire