After Thoroughly F**king Over America, Mitch McConnell Decides to Treat Himself to a Break

[Kennah]

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/after-thoroughly-fking-over-america-mitch-mcconnell-decides-to-treat-himself-to-a-break

Mitch McConnell announced on Wednesday that he will step down as the GOP’s Senate leader after next November’s elections. At 82, the guy is still alive and kicking, and come November, he’ll still have more than two years left on his current term in office. In other words, we’re not rid of him just yet. But it feels appropriate at this time to talk about legacy and what people will remember about the man when he’s gone, from both DC and the world. So, to be clear: If you remember one thing about Mitch McConnell, it should be that the Kentucky lawmaker, who famously has no principles,* could have rid us of the bubonic plague that is Donald Trump—and simply chose not to.

Cast your minds back to February 2021. A month prior, the president of the United States had incited a literal insurrection in an attempt to stay in power. Shortly thereafter, he was impeached, which was followed by a Senate trial. On the day the votes were cast, McConnell said the following: “There’s no question, none, that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of the day. No question about it. The people who stormed this building believed they were acting on the wishes and instructions of their president. And having that belief was a foreseeable consequence of the growing crescendo of false statements, conspiracy theories, and reckless hyperbole, which the defeated president kept shouting into the largest megaphone on planet Earth.”

Those words would have been incredibly powerful if not for one thing: Moments before uttering them, McConnell voted to acquit Trump, because he is a shameless hack. As a reminder, had Trump been convicted by the Senate—which, yes, would’ve required more people than just McConnell to vote differently—the 45th president would have been barred from ever running from office again, and we wouldn’t currently be grappling with the very real chance of him winning reelection this fall.

But hey, you might be thinking, My memory is sharp and I’d like to recall more than one thing about the majority leader when he’s gone. In that case, might we recommend McConnell’s handiwork in shaping the Supreme Court? Specifically the wheels he set into motion that led to Roe v. Wade being overturned?

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I vote for neck. Not like there's a spine that would be damaged by a broken neck.

[SarahD]

1. Sodomy is bard work. He needs some rest.

[flying_wahini]

2. I kept hoping that during his "glitch" at the top of those stairs that he would accidentally lean too far and...

Do us all a favor.

Pretty bad of me, I know…

[Kennah]

4. Never a window, and a Putin operative, when you need one

[sop]

3. From the looks of him, I don't think Mitch is long for this world.

I wouldn't be surprised if we see some breaking news about McConnell's passing in a few months.

[Kennah]

5. Out a window?

[sop]

6. Maybe Mitch's nextdoor neighbor will attack him while he's mowing the lawn.

Folks have been known to do that sort of thing in Kentucky.

[Kennah]

8. Every GOOPer was Kung Fu fighting (huh!)

[Blue Owl]

7. There's a special place in hell waiting for Mitch....