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The Borowitz Report: Disaster Strikes Bezos Wedding After Tent from Amazon Basics Collapses

VENICE (The Borowitz Report)Disaster struck the much-anticipated wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez on Friday after a tent from Amazon Basics suddenly collapsed.
As news of the canceled nuptials spread, Venetians who had protested the weddings presence in their city erupted in jubilation.
I have never seen the people of Venice so happy, one longtime resident said. This was a bigger celebration than Carnevale.
According to witnesses of the tent collapse, Lauren Sanchezs face remarkably did not change expressions.
- short article, no more at link -
As news of the canceled nuptials spread, Venetians who had protested the weddings presence in their city erupted in jubilation.
I have never seen the people of Venice so happy, one longtime resident said. This was a bigger celebration than Carnevale.
According to witnesses of the tent collapse, Lauren Sanchezs face remarkably did not change expressions.

Today's bonus pic from Andy...



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The Borowitz Report: Disaster Strikes Bezos Wedding After Tent from Amazon Basics Collapses (Original Post)
FakeNoose
Jun 27
OP
sop
(15,156 posts)1. She's suffering from a bad case of Mar-a-Lago face.
marble falls
(66,989 posts)2. She tried to smile but the silicon split her lip. Thank goodness Amazon Prime got the super glue & Bondo there in jif.
AllaN01Bear
(26,372 posts)3. dosnt look happy at all. hem.
FakeNoose
(37,811 posts)4. Yeah, I don't think that's her wedding dress though
She probably wore "virgin white" for her wedding.
dalton99a
(89,376 posts)5. Her implants are under warranty and still inflated