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FakeNoose

(37,811 posts)
Fri Jun 27, 2025, 12:58 PM Jun 27

The Borowitz Report: Disaster Strikes Bezos Wedding After Tent from Amazon Basics Collapses



VENICE (The Borowitz Report)—Disaster struck the much-anticipated wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez on Friday after a tent from Amazon Basics suddenly collapsed.

As news of the canceled nuptials spread, Venetians who had protested the wedding’s presence in their city erupted in jubilation.

“I have never seen the people of Venice so happy,” one longtime resident said. “This was a bigger celebration than Carnevale.”

According to witnesses of the tent collapse, Lauren Sanchez’s face remarkably did not change expressions.
- short article, no more at link -



Today's bonus pic from Andy...


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The Borowitz Report: Disaster Strikes Bezos Wedding After Tent from Amazon Basics Collapses (Original Post) FakeNoose Jun 27 OP
She's suffering from a bad case of Mar-a-Lago face. sop Jun 27 #1
She tried to smile but the silicon split her lip. Thank goodness Amazon Prime got the super glue & Bondo there in jif. marble falls Jun 27 #2
dosnt look happy at all. hem. AllaN01Bear Jun 27 #3
Yeah, I don't think that's her wedding dress though FakeNoose Jun 27 #4
Her implants are under warranty and still inflated dalton99a Jun 28 #5

marble falls

(66,989 posts)
2. She tried to smile but the silicon split her lip. Thank goodness Amazon Prime got the super glue & Bondo there in jif.
Fri Jun 27, 2025, 01:08 PM
Jun 27

FakeNoose

(37,811 posts)
4. Yeah, I don't think that's her wedding dress though
Fri Jun 27, 2025, 03:20 PM
Jun 27

She probably wore "virgin white" for her wedding.

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