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The Borowitz Report: Is it Closing Time for Lindsey Graham?
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/is-lindsey-graham-about-to-lose-his
(Sorry, this is for paid subscribers only, so the link will not be helpful.)
Welcome to The Borowitz Report’s newest premium feature, TBR Midterms HQ. Between now and November, we’ll offer deep dives into the midterm races you need to know about—and make a few predictions.
We’ll start by examining the reelection chances of the intermittently sober Trump toady Lindsey Graham.
Conventional wisdom says Graham’s Senate seat is safe. But as Trump’s popularity vanishes like Little Marco’s feet in a giant pair of Florsheims, a slew of recent Democratic upsets have proven conventional wisdom wrong. And a close inspection of the South Carolina Senate race suggests there could be trouble ahead for tipsy Lindsey.
... [snip] ...
An Impact Research poll shows only 34 percent of the state’s voters hold a favorable view of Graham, with a brutal 61 percent unfavorable. And a daunting 57 percent say they are “looking to vote for someone else.”
An array of candidates, both Democratic and Republican, are salivating to be that someone else. And Lindsey has made himself a pillowy-soft target by bragging about his latest geopolitical masterstroke: convincing Donald Trump to launch the most idiotic war in US history.
Graham, who loves bombing almost as much as he loves getting bombed, has spent the past few years leaning on the Dunce-in-Chief to take a whack at Iran. “I told him before he took office... if you can collapse this terrorist regime, that’s Berlin Wall stuff,” Graham told Politico. That’s an apt comparison, if you spent a billion dollars a day trying to tear down the Berlin Wall and somehow left it standing.
When the war of Lindsey’s dreams finally commenced on February 28, he took to X in a fit of abject obsequiousness, panting, “As I watch and monitor this historic operation, I’m in awe of President Trump’s determination to be a man of peace but at the end of the day, evil’s worst nightmare. Well done, Mr. President.”
This humiliating display of public suction prompted Doug Stafford, Rand Paul’s chief political adviser, to respond, “I’m in awe of what a warmongering fool you are.” (Note: the most unforgivable aspect of Trump’s second term is how often he has forced me to be on the same side as people like Rand Paul.)
After four weeks of air strikes in which, to hear Pete Hegseth tell it, the US obliterated, re-obliterated, and re-re-obliterated the Iranian military, Lindsey doubled down, appearing on “Fox News Sunday” to tub-thump for a ground invasion of Iran’s principal oil export hub, Kharg Island. “We did Iwo Jima, we can do this,” he said, stupidly name-checking a campaign in which 6,821 US service members perished.
Graham’s unhinged brand of hawkishness has traditionally played well in South Carolina, reputedly the most military-friendly state in the nation. Unfortunately, this time around he’s hitched his drinks cart to a war most people think is moronic—including some MAGA Republicans. (One of them is fellow South Carolinian Nancy Mace. And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse than agreeing with Rand Paul.) That means his GOP challengers are sure to keep hammering away at the Iran fiasco between now and the June 9 primary.
“He’s given bad information to Trump, and he’s promoting war, and that’s just, that’s got to stop,” one such challenger, businessman Mark Lynch, said. Lynch, who is pouring millions of his own dollars into his campaign, is riding high after a recent Rasmussen poll showed Graham garnering only 41 percent of Republican primary voters—short of the majority necessary to avoid a runoff. The same survey showed Lynch polling at 21 percent, but besting Graham by 34 to 23 when voters were informed about the candidates’ positions.
“I’ve polled quite a few races like this in the ’26 cycle and Lindsey Graham is one of the weakest incumbents I’ve seen,” Rasmussen’s Mark Mitchell said. “Despite the name ID advantage, Mark Lynch takes a clear lead on the informed ballot. This is a huge opportunity.”
- more at link (paid subscribers only) -
We’ll start by examining the reelection chances of the intermittently sober Trump toady Lindsey Graham.
Conventional wisdom says Graham’s Senate seat is safe. But as Trump’s popularity vanishes like Little Marco’s feet in a giant pair of Florsheims, a slew of recent Democratic upsets have proven conventional wisdom wrong. And a close inspection of the South Carolina Senate race suggests there could be trouble ahead for tipsy Lindsey.
... [snip] ...
An Impact Research poll shows only 34 percent of the state’s voters hold a favorable view of Graham, with a brutal 61 percent unfavorable. And a daunting 57 percent say they are “looking to vote for someone else.”
An array of candidates, both Democratic and Republican, are salivating to be that someone else. And Lindsey has made himself a pillowy-soft target by bragging about his latest geopolitical masterstroke: convincing Donald Trump to launch the most idiotic war in US history.
Graham, who loves bombing almost as much as he loves getting bombed, has spent the past few years leaning on the Dunce-in-Chief to take a whack at Iran. “I told him before he took office... if you can collapse this terrorist regime, that’s Berlin Wall stuff,” Graham told Politico. That’s an apt comparison, if you spent a billion dollars a day trying to tear down the Berlin Wall and somehow left it standing.
When the war of Lindsey’s dreams finally commenced on February 28, he took to X in a fit of abject obsequiousness, panting, “As I watch and monitor this historic operation, I’m in awe of President Trump’s determination to be a man of peace but at the end of the day, evil’s worst nightmare. Well done, Mr. President.”
This humiliating display of public suction prompted Doug Stafford, Rand Paul’s chief political adviser, to respond, “I’m in awe of what a warmongering fool you are.” (Note: the most unforgivable aspect of Trump’s second term is how often he has forced me to be on the same side as people like Rand Paul.)
After four weeks of air strikes in which, to hear Pete Hegseth tell it, the US obliterated, re-obliterated, and re-re-obliterated the Iranian military, Lindsey doubled down, appearing on “Fox News Sunday” to tub-thump for a ground invasion of Iran’s principal oil export hub, Kharg Island. “We did Iwo Jima, we can do this,” he said, stupidly name-checking a campaign in which 6,821 US service members perished.
Graham’s unhinged brand of hawkishness has traditionally played well in South Carolina, reputedly the most military-friendly state in the nation. Unfortunately, this time around he’s hitched his drinks cart to a war most people think is moronic—including some MAGA Republicans. (One of them is fellow South Carolinian Nancy Mace. And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse than agreeing with Rand Paul.) That means his GOP challengers are sure to keep hammering away at the Iran fiasco between now and the June 9 primary.
“He’s given bad information to Trump, and he’s promoting war, and that’s just, that’s got to stop,” one such challenger, businessman Mark Lynch, said. Lynch, who is pouring millions of his own dollars into his campaign, is riding high after a recent Rasmussen poll showed Graham garnering only 41 percent of Republican primary voters—short of the majority necessary to avoid a runoff. The same survey showed Lynch polling at 21 percent, but besting Graham by 34 to 23 when voters were informed about the candidates’ positions.
“I’ve polled quite a few races like this in the ’26 cycle and Lindsey Graham is one of the weakest incumbents I’ve seen,” Rasmussen’s Mark Mitchell said. “Despite the name ID advantage, Mark Lynch takes a clear lead on the informed ballot. This is a huge opportunity.”
I believe it's way past time for South Carolina's voters to throw a "retirement party" for Lindsey Graham.
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