The Borowitz Report: Math for Republicans
TBR EXCLUSIVE—The Borowitz Report has obtained the following official press release from The White House:
Secretary of War Pete Hegseth recently testified that the first two months of the war in Iran have cost the United States approximately $25 billion. As soon as Secretary Hegseth issued that estimate, so-called experts began to weigh in, claiming that the war has actually cost as much as three times that.
In typical fashion, low-IQ liberals are proving yet again that they cannot do basic math. Not only are their numbers wrong, they also fail to recognize that military spending is a bargain compared to wasting money on things like education and food assistance. If anything, the war in Iran is saving taxpayers money.
To demonstrate their total incompetence when it comes to arithmetic, here are a few more examples of how Democrats consistently get their numerical facts wrong and what our “alternative math” correctly shows:
President Trump has successfully lowered the cost of several prescription drugs by as much as 600%, which the radical left is calling “mathematically impossible.” We believe, however, that with bold leadership, anything is possible.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/math-for-republicans