Why the State of the Union is more like a High School Reunion
With tonight being the 5th time that the President will appear before both
Houses of Congress, this special "Political Spectacle" has begun to feel more
like my High School reunion than our country's State of the Union.
You won't see this many people who don't like each other in one place...other
than the recreation yard at San Quentin Prison.
The Supreme Court will come again this year in full robe and costume, except
rumor has it they will sing the National Anthem and be guest stars on Glee!
Nancy Pelosi in an effort to look her best, will inject herself with so much Botox,
she will be in danger of being embalmed during the Benediction.
And John Boehner will be voted most likely to be awarded the "Congressional
Medal of Honor" for his work on the House Sub-Committee in charge of Extra-
terrestrials, and admitting to the fact that his skin is not really tan, but actually
glows in the dark.
President Obama will report that the country is expected to have a growth rate
of 7.9%, an unemployment rate of 4%, an expanded base of unionized employees,
record spending of 1.2 trillion dollars on infrastructure, a crackdown on white
collar crime and corruption, increased spending on social welfare programs and
a closing of illegal prisons...except he will be reporting on the People's Republic
of China instead of the United States of America.
It is similar to my High School Reunion, when we reminisced how the rival schools
football team... used to kick our ass!
Of course our goals are a little more modest. The President will ask that both sides
reach across party lines and come to an agreement on the debt ceiling, spending
cuts, and revenue increases...so we don't destroy the world's economy!
Now of course, we know that China is a dictatorship and rules without a moral authority.
But did you also know that it has a Constitution that was ratified in 1982 that guarantees
its people "full powers for a representative legislature, the right to ownership of private property,
freedom of speech, press and assembly and ensures that China would never again suffer from
the whims of a tyrant."
Now the fact that either the government, the people or both choose to ignore their
constitutional rights or suspend those rights whenever they feel threatened or find
it convenient...sounds like a far too similar conversation we have been having in this
country...ever since 9/11.
But the best part of the evening won't be that Lindsey Graham eerily reminds me of the
best female tennis player that helped us win the City Championship, but at any Reunion --
it's always talking about the people who didn't show up!...but in this case, two of them,
Marco Rubio and Rand Paul... will be talking about us instead!
As is custom now...the Opposition Party will have an opportunity on television to give
a response to the President's speech...and since the opposition can't even agree with
each other...we get two speeches instead of just one!
One Senator, Rubio, is clearly the "Homecoming King", while the other Senator, Mr. Paul,
was clearly left "Home Alone" way too often!
With Rubio being the next rising star of the Republican Party, Leadership wanted him
to do his speech in Spanish and simulcast it in English, but they were afraid Rand Paul would
then have him deported!
And since Rand Paul doesn't really believe in government anyway, his speech will be more like
ten minutes on QVC...selling buttons and bumper stickers for his upcoming Presidential Campaign!
America's State of the Union will always be as strong as America's State of Mind!...because we are
never limited by what we have done, but only by what we haven't done yet.
Last I checked..."We and the World"...still vote America as the country "most likely to
succeed."
I hope President Obama, at this State of the Union, tells the World...we won the election!
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