Fox: New Evidence Hillary Killed Lincoln

[underpants]

May 11, 2013
Posted by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what may be the most serious allegation ever made against the former Secretary of State, Fox News Channel reported today that Hillary Clinton was involved in the conspiracy to murder President Abraham Lincoln.

The latest charge against Mrs. Clinton was reported by Fox host Sean Hannity, who said that the evidence of her role in the Lincoln assassination came mainly in the form of e-mails.


According to Mr. Hannity, “If it’s true that Hillary Clinton killed Lincoln, this could have a major impact on her chances in 2016.”

The accusation against Mrs. Clinton drew a strong response from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R.—S. Carolina): “There’s been a concerted effort by Hillary Clinton to cover up her role in President Lincoln’s murder. She has said nothing about it. This is bigger than Watergate, the Cuban missile crisis, and the Second World War put together.”

Responding to the allegation, Mrs. Clinton issued a terse statement indicating that she could not have participated in Lincoln’s assassination because she was born in 1947.

“That’s what she wants us to believe,” Sen. Graham said.
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/05/fox-new-evidence-hillary-killed-lincoln.html

[Oakenshield]

1. I'll admit the "bigger than the second world war"

That bit did make me chuckle...but assassinating Lincoln....really? They are bat-shit crazy make no mistake but that's a stretch even for them. I could probably see that being said by Alex Jones or Rand Paul though.

[monmouth3]

2. Borowitz is a satarist...n/t

[louis-t]

5. He's also a 'satirist'.

[monmouth3]

8. Thanks, can't type for $^#% today..n/t

[TheCowsCameHome]

9. Um, That's "$^#*".

But then, we all have bad days.

[Evergreen Emerald]

16. hahahaha

you made me laugh!

[Oakenshield]

6. I know..

But even for satire this is a bit out there, which was my original point. I'm beginning to sound more than a little thick-headed/petty so I'll just leave it at that. Have a nice day.

[xfundy]

12. On first glance

I thought you said "satanist."

[Journeyman]

3. Well, you never heard her denying it until she was accused of it, did you? . . .

Just goes to show. . .

[Politicalboi]

4. But Poppy Bush the "man" IMO

Orchestrated the assassination of JFK got to be President, and his worthless son of a bitch.

I know this is satire. But what Bush did wasn't.

[louis-t]

7. Borowitz! Ha!

That guy kills me.

[Thinkingabout]

10. Wait until the correct birth certificate is produced and Abraham Lincoln is the father and Hillary

Clinton is the mother of Obama.

[Zambero]

11. That name "CLINTON" says it all

A Frankenstein monster of a name, culled from the names of three dead ex-Presidents.

CL taken from from (Grover) Cleveland,
IN taken from (Abraham) Lincoln, and
TON taken from (George) Washington

Coincidence? Only an anti-Christ husband-wife political coupling could have possibly surfaced with a name like this, channeling the spirits of three deceased Presidents to further their evil scheme to destroy America.

Just thought I'd bring this to everyone's attention, before Glenn Beck gets around to it...

[Wednesdays]

17. Aha! So SHE'S the one

responsible for the assassination deaths of Washington and Cleveland!
It's all becoming clearer now...

[Beacool]

13. Did she blame Lincoln's death on a video?

[pangaia]

14. I always knew she had skeletons in her closet.

Now we have proof...

[TRoN33]

15. Glad to know that we're having real...

great sense of humor! Unlike Obama-bashers, we know how to make fun just for a laugh...

[Cal33]

18. Even if it was meant as a joke, it's not only a stupid joke. It's also pretty sick.