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Related: About this forumPic Of The Moment: Michele Bachmann Announces She Will Not Seek Re-election In 2014
BREAKING: Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann Says She Will Not Run for Re-Election in 2014
Michele Bachmann to leave Congress, insisting departure has nothing to do with ongoing ethics investigation
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Botany
(70,516 posts)"We followed all of the rules and regulations as far as I know." M. Bachmann 5/28/13
Yavin4
(35,442 posts)caledesi
(11,903 posts)caseymoz
(5,763 posts)Sly. The "I'm-as-dumb-as-a-hay-bale defense." Sorry, Michelle, if we let you go for that, we'd have to pardon every Republican crook who ever honed their ignorance with such care. That would give your entire party a Get-outta-jail-free-cause-my-brain-is-like-raisin card. It sends the wrong message. We don't want to give Republicans incentives for getting dumber.
tanyev
(42,568 posts)Downwinder
(12,869 posts)Buzz Clik
(38,437 posts)LynneSin
(95,337 posts)BrotherIvan
(9,126 posts)I lean toward "Tramp the Dirt Down".
Why did this just brighten my day?
libodem
(19,288 posts)Sure have missed seeing you around. We had your stapler bronzed and we wipe the tear stains off, on a regular basis.
caseymoz
(5,763 posts)"Cover Your Ding-dongs, the Witch isn't Dead Yet."
I was going to do an OP with that title.
DinahMoeHum
(21,794 posts)She's Zombie Pig enough to try to unseat Al Franken.
nolabear
(41,987 posts)It would be like an SNL sketch.
Wabbajack_
(1,300 posts)If she was running for the Senate she'd be announcing that, not her retirement from the House.
She'd get killed anyway so why worry?
Chipper Chat
(9,680 posts)the Heritage Foundation calling.
AnotherWyoDemocrat
(14 posts)...I think she would be an easy defeat in 2014!!
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,735 posts)Coyotl
(15,262 posts)Be a shill for a few years, get a few million in return.
EC
(12,287 posts)asked her to leave since she likely would have lost the seat. They want to put in someone who will win in the very gerrymandered district?
Garion_55
(1,915 posts)Myrina
(12,296 posts)"I quit! Now stop investigating me an' stuff!"
busterbrown
(8,515 posts)This is a magnificent sole who has been persecuted by the press every since she pointed out to that
loud mouth that Congress is full of Commies.. And What about that Glorious husband of hers? How is he going to survive knowing that Michele will be around the house all day. What a drag............Queen!
longship
(40,416 posts)I have no idea. And is that really printed on her clothes?
joeglow3
(6,228 posts)First thing I thought of when I saw the picture.
longship
(40,416 posts)Thanks.
joeglow3
(6,228 posts)VERONICA
Bye
(to DANTE)
That was Snowball.
DANTE
Why do you call him that?
VERONICA
Sylvan made it up. It's a blow job
thing.
DANTE
What do you mean?
VERONICA
After he gets a blow job, he likes
to have the cum spit back into his
mouth while kissing. It's called
snowballing.
DANTE
He requested this?
VERONICA
He gets off on it.
24.
DANTE
Sylvan can be talked into anything.
VERONICA
Why do you say that?
DANTE
Like you said-she snowballed him.
VERONICA
Sylvan? No; I snowballed him.
DANTE
Yeah, right.
VERONICA
I'm serious...
A moment of silence as DANTE'S chuckles fade to comprehension.
DANTE
You sucked that guy's dick?
VERONICA
Yeah. How do you think I know he
liked...
DANTE
(panicky)
But...but you said you only had sex
with three guys! You never mentioned
him!
VERONICA
That's because I never had sex with
him!
DANTE
You sucked his dick!
VERONICA
We went out a few times. We didn't
have sex, but we fooled around.
DANTE
(massive panic attack)
Oh my God! Why did you tell me you
only slept with three guys?
VERONICA
Because I did only sleep with three
guys! That doesn't mean I didn't
just go with people.
25.
DANTE
Oh my God-I feel so nauseous...
VERONICA
I'm sorry, Dante. I thought you
understood.
DANTE
I did understand! I understand that
you slept with three different
guys, and that's all you said.
VERONICA
Please calm down.
DANTE
How many?
VERONICA
Dante...
DANTE
How many dicks have you sucked?!
VERONICA
Let it go...
DANTE
HOW MANY?
VERONICA
All right! Shut up a second and
I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't
freak like this when you told me
how many girls you fucked.
DANTE
This is different. This is important.
How many?!
She counts silently, using fingers as marks. DANTE waits on
a customer in the interim. VERONICA stops counting.
DANTE
Well...?
VERONICA
(half-mumbled)
Something like thirty-six.
DANTE
WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THIRTY-SIX?
26.
VERONICA
Lower your voice!
DANTE
What the hell is that anyway,
"something like thirty-six?" Does
that include me?
VERONICA
Um. Thirty-seven.
DANTE
I'M THIRTY-SEVEN?
VERONICA
(walking away)
I'm going to class.
DANTE
Thirty-seven?!
(to CUSTOMER)
My girlfriend sucked thirty-seven
dicks!
CUSTOMER
In a row?
longship
(40,416 posts)Much appreciated.
Spitfire of ATJ
(32,723 posts)B Stieg
(2,410 posts)Hoo, Hoo, Hoo
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,735 posts)I discover there is actually some good news. This is one of those mornings. I'm sure the GOPers will come up with some other loon to replace her, but this is a good day for Minnesota. She was embarrassing the hell out of us.
I do regret, just a bit, that Jim Graves won't have the chance to kick her scrawny ass in the 2014 election - I was looking forward to that. But I suspect ol' Crazy Eyes knew she'd get her ass kicked this time.
Yay!
Scurrilous
(38,687 posts)another_liberal
(8,821 posts)"OK, number 3737, wrap it up and get back to cleaning those toilets, if you don't want to lose your phone privileges again."
SCVDem
(5,103 posts)SoapBox
(18,791 posts)...PLEASE, do let the door hit you on the way out.
Hubert Flottz
(37,726 posts)**************** *************** **************** *************** *************
Iwillnevergiveup
(9,298 posts)before she's gone, and I can only hope the ethics investigation doesn't run out of steam during that time. Ideally, she'll be found guilty of plenty of wrongdoing and leave before her term is up.
SoapBox
(18,791 posts)Lots of potential damage that she and her Cult of Terrorist TeaPukers can help to inflict on America...let's keep those fingers crossed that she will lay-low because of the investigation.
Flashmann
(2,140 posts)In HANDCUFFS!!!
lark
(23,105 posts)That's the song that keeps running thru my head over this excellent news.
Oh, she's definitely not an autumn, that color looks so bad on her. (snark)
TeamPooka
(24,229 posts)Cleita
(75,480 posts)playing show tunes and disco all morning.
nolabear
(41,987 posts)Sheepshank
(12,504 posts)she is moving out of Minnesota to a state when they will really really really hate her husband..
MADem
(135,425 posts)I wonder who's taking bets on how long that marriage will last once they actually start living together!!!
totodeinhere
(13,058 posts)reelection rather than this. This might actually be bad news for the Democrats' efforts to retake the House in 2014. She represents a conservative district and another Republican might be able to hold that seat.
Ganja Ninja
(15,953 posts)Her crazy ass will be on the TV from now until hell freezes over.
Iwillnevergiveup
(9,298 posts)WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)The average I.Q. of a member of the House of Representatives is expected to rise sharply in 2015, experts said today.
The experts, who indicated that they were cautiously optimistic about the development, said that the gains were most likely to be made in the Midwest.
The expected rise in I.Q. could mean that the average congressperson would have a greater grasp of basic concepts in math and science, including the law of evolution, as well as addition and subtraction.
The last time a branch of the federal government experienced such a significant increase in average I.Q., experts said, was the executive branch in 2009.
Turbineguy
(37,343 posts)OK, so she gets on Fox news. How desperate for low-brow entertainment does one have to be?
durbin
(73 posts)nikto
(3,284 posts)VA_Jill
(9,983 posts)she knew she was going to lose, and lose BAD, in 2014. The only problem is, what batsh!t crazy GOTPer is going to run for her seat?
calimary
(81,322 posts)Actually, it's one of those things where you could realistically say "gee, that'd be funny if it weren't true..."
Enjoy!
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/05/congress-average-iq-expected-to-rise-in-2014.html?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20%28130%29
durbin
(73 posts)Here's the link.
calimary
(81,322 posts)Glad you're here! That was pretty damn funny! Thanks for adding it in here!
muntrv
(14,505 posts)freshwest
(53,661 posts)May 13, 2013
In an interview with a local television station, the conservative firebrand said she believes God will destroy Minneapolis once the legislation is enacted, and wants to be far away when the reckoning happens...
"I have a friend from Eden Prairie who's already packed everything she owns into her car and is driving out to Montana as we speak. These are very scary times. I don't want my family to be the last ones out..."
"I don't know what it will be, Bruce," she said. "It could be an earthquake. It could be a volcano. It could be some sort of flesh eating virus. All I know is that God does not let homosexuality go unpunished, and Minneapolis is next in line for his wrath.
It breaks my heart to think that the Democrats are willing to play politics with the lives of so many Minnesotans. And I hate to leave so many of my constituents behind, but I urge them - please, please - follow my example and get your loved ones to safety before it's too late."
LOL! I've met religious RWNJs who think just like this. So you better watch out, Oregon:
http://dailycurrant.com/2013/05/13/bachmann-threatens-to-leave-minnesota-over-marriage-equality/
tarheelsunc
(2,117 posts)there's absolutely no way anyone could have known that wasn't a real article. It sounds just like something she would say.
freshwest
(53,661 posts)There's a profitable media industry feeding folks this stuff.
warrprayer
(4,734 posts)wonder if that has anything to do with it...
Cha
(297,323 posts)thanks EarlG!
pacalo
(24,721 posts)stlsaxman
(9,236 posts)your decision, huh?
tavalon
(27,985 posts)Actually, orange is a good color for her.
DissidentVoice
(813 posts)There will still be enough batshit crazies on the far right to provide plenty of headaches for us.
tarheelsunc
(2,117 posts)She'd probably lose if she ran for reelection due to everything that's around her now. But her district is fairly red and if they put another conservative in, he or she will have a much better chance of beating the Democratic candidate.
CheapShotArtist
(333 posts)because on the one hand, she won't be in Congress starting shit and wasting time anymore, but whichever 'Thug that runs against Jim Graves in 2014 will probably have an easier chance at winning.
merrily
(45,251 posts)tofuandbeer
(1,314 posts)But I fear she will continue her crusade in another forum.
Sick person that she is.
OldRedneck
(1,397 posts). . . a village is celebrating the return of its idiot.
Wabbajack_
(1,300 posts)She's weak and unpopular, she almost lost in most republican seat in the state.
Out chances of winning the seat which were decent just went way down.
Conium
(119 posts)[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]
Texas Gov. Rick Perry said he will announce in June whether he will seek re-election to a fourth as Governor of Texas in the 2014 election.
source: [link:http://ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/Rick_Perry|