We're Fracking The Ocean. Near A Fault Line. What Could Go Wrong?

[matthewf]

[Autumn]

1. Hey, it's gotta be safe. Our Governor Frackinlooper here in CO

drinks the fracking fluid. Myself, I prefer a nice whiskey, and no fucking fracking.

[starroute]

2. "Only a 30% chance of Cthulhu, say fracking experts"

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/only-a-30-chance-of-cthulhu-say-fracking-experts-201204185135

THE chances of shale gas exploration releasing a monstrous denizen of the underworld are less than one in three, experts have claimed.

As the army continues to fight two hundred chittering, horned creatures released during a test extraction in Blackpool, energy companies insist they can keep demonic activity at levels that would be classed as ‘normal’ for a seaside town.

Roy Hobbs, an engineer with Shell, said: “By my calculations the Shadow Lord Cthulhu currently rests nine leagues deeper than the shale gas so I’m sure it’ll be fine.

“Nevertheless, we have some of the best hooded, eyeless priests in the industry who will be on call 24 hours a day to maintain the sanctity of the work site through a series of incantations and holy artefacts, as well as checking for hard hats and security passes.”

[Art_from_Ark]

3. Thanks for that Daily Mash link

The British version of The Onion