How Far Into This Retro Children's Guide To The Internet Can You Get...

[onehandle]

...before you click away screaming.

[CBGLuthier]

1. Far enough to tell how

fake it is. But kudos to the creators for getting it kind of right.

[Historic NY]

5. What's fake its 1997.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-57599038-1/revisit-the-amazing-internet-the-cool-kids-used-in-1997/

Licensed, Designed, Distributed and Manufactured by
Diamond Entertainment Corporation
Cerritos, CA 90703
Copyright 1997

The surfboard in the living room was a little over the top.

[onehandle]

7. It's real. nt

[Historic NY]

18. Just imagine how it was with old dial up modems...

people really need to discover the history of the internet....they will find out it wasn't ever intended for civilian use.

[Scootaloo]

2. I broke down at "Mississippi"

That was just... so completely fucking random.

I wonder how many of our younger posters were going "what the fuck is 'tracking'?"

[Bay Boy]

3. The first thing that says 'fake' to me is...

...MILF saying she uses it to pay the bills. I don't recall being able to do that in the early days of the internet.

[JHB]

11. It was much more limited, but it was there...

...usually through third party companies like CheckFree, or certain software packages. From a 1997 article in Netbanker (same year as the video):

Next generation of Electronic Bill Payment
By Jim Bruene on November 1, 1997 9:46 AM

Last year we made the case for reengineering bill payment. We reasoned that the $800 annual tab each US bill-paying household incurred to pay bills the old-fashioned way would provide an attractive target for the major payment players. Indeed a number of vendors have surfaced in the past 12 months devoted to transforming the paper billing process into a completely electronic version delivered over the Internet.

But what also has become clearer is that the banking industry has neglected one of the primary participants in the electronic bill payment process — the biller. We don’t see signs of that changing any time soon. IQPC’s Internet Billing Conference (Nov. 18-19 in Chicago), billed as the first conference on electronic bill payments from the biller’s perspective, drew some of the largest billers in the country but only two bankers. That spells opportunity for those quick to develop programs that cater not only to the online consumer, but to the biller as well.

It’s Biller Time
The next generation of electronic bill payment won’t be driven by Checkfree, Integrion, or Microsoft. The billers are calling the shots. And they should since they’ll be paying the freight.
***
Within the next 18-24 months, we expect to see bills being presented and paid in the following ways:

Where the Bills Are: circa 1999
on the user’s desktop (a.k.a. Webtop) pushed there by the biller or third party
at the biller’s Web site
at other biller’s Web sites (e.g. bill consolidation at a biller’s Web)
at financial institution Web sites linked directly to billers
at financial institution Web sites linked to concentrators
in Microsoft Money, Quicken and MYM
at bill concentrator Web sites (MSFDC, Checkfree, Billsite.com, etc.)
at third-party financial services Web sites (Quicken.com, CNNfn, Money Magazine, etc.)
at content aggregator Web sites (Yahoo, Excite, etc.)
at independent billing sites hyperlinked directly to billers

http://www.netbanker.com/1997/11/next_generation_electronic_bill_payment.html

[Glyn Dwr]

12. 1997 wasn't all that "early"

The web had been around for a while by 1997-- the fact that they made a video for "regular people" in 1997 shows how mainstream it was becoming. I think I paid some bills and bought stuff online back then and ran a dedicated linux-based Quake server.

[rschallack]

4. I couldn't stop laughing ...

Something about the "Adjust you VCR..." message before talking about the internet got to me.

[onehandle]

8. VCRs used to have 'tracking' which essentially lined up the head with the tape better.

Kind of like the speed control on a turntable, pre-quartz tuning.

I have one VCR left. It has 'auto-tracking,' which was a premium feature in the 1990s.

God I'm old.

[rschallack]

6. And the amazing quality of the video.

Two things I notice: In all the shots with the two kids seated, Dasha (trying to sound vaguely Russian comrade?) is shorter than Peter, but when they stand up, they are the same height. Peter's got a bit of a lifter on that chair.

And we rarely talk to each other (except for the youngest kid, who's probably a real child actor). Instead, we always address the cameraman when explaining something to another person on set.

This is brilliant! You cannot make parodies this good.

[MgtPA]

9. This error jumped out at me - the boy said

"Type http colon double backslash (\\)"; should be double slash (//)

[Glyn Dwr]

14. People were new at slashes

I think that the only people who really knew which was which were people who used DOS or UNIX commands a lot. People still conflate the naming conventions, and I can sort of see the logic in calling either one a "backslash," but, yeah, he's still wrong.

[TreasonousBastard]

10. Seems real and the dirty old man in me was wondering what little Dasha...

looks like now. Born in '85, she'd be 37 or so by now

From Facebook, I believe...

[Glyn Dwr]

13. Math...

How does it work?

[TreasonousBastard]

19. Better without typos.

[datacreed]

20. ...and now less than a year later, a YouTuber salutes this video with a great summary!

Viewed early Summer 2014, Youtuber cs188 sums it up quite well in this video. LOL

&feature=player_detailpage

[gopiscrap]

21. Welcome to DU

[dembotoz]

15. being older i remember when the web was mystical

would have watched the whole thing amazed

[WhoIsNumberNone]

16. AAAAK! I see porn lurking under every pixel of this video!

Especially the part where they talk about this kids' curiousity for learning having skyrocketed...

[bobclark86]

17. The best part...

When the neighbor kids try to get their dad to get the Internet...

You know how the conversation really went?

Dad 1: "My kids keep pestering me to get the Internet. It's $50 a month and it's good for five hours a month. Seems kind of expensive."

Dad 2: "Dude, you know how we hit the strip club and pay $200 each for our 'special' shows in the Champagne Room every Thursday and Sunday?"

Dad 1: "Yeah?"

Dad 2: "You get to see that on the Internet. From home. In your boxers. AND you can't get in trouble for whipping it out and beating off... AGAIN."

Dad 1: "Oh, fuck yeah! Hey, Honey? Tell the kids to get their helmets and pump up the bike tires! We're getting on the Information Superhighway RIGHT NOW!"