John Oliver Shuts Down Fake Church Over Unsolicited Semen

[Miles Archer]

In an effort to expose the financial loopholes and "seed-based" faith preyed upon by televangelists, Last Week Tonight's John Oliver founded his own church called "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" to test the law's resiliency. After three weeks and tens of thousands of dollars raised from Oliver's fervent following, the host and his "wife" Wanda Jo (played by Rachel Dratch) announced they were shuttering their church, but it wasn't because the government stepped in. Instead, when Oliver asked his congregation to send in their seeds, some viewers took the message way too literally.

"The reason we are shutting this church down is we received a different kind of seed. We received – and this is all too true – not one, not two, not three, but four packages containing jars and/or vials of semen," Oliver told his followers. "Some looked fake, but others did not." Dratch added, "We live our lives by one hard and fast rule: When someone sends you jizz through the mail, it's time to stop doing whatever you're doing."

Despite the closure of Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption, the church did do some good in its short life: In addition to shining a harsh light on televangelism, Oliver's fake house of worship raised thousands of dollars which the host then donated to Doctors Without Borders. Oliver also received actual planting seeds, 12 bobbleheads of Minnesota Timberwolves bust Jonny Flynn and a shirt stamped with "John Oliver Is a Rat Faced Bastard," but it was the "Penis Grigio" that pushed him over the edge.

"Setting up churches is all fun and games until someone gets sperm in an envelope," Oliver said as the moving company swarmed the set to take away all of his seeds. "Don't send us anything anymore. If you want to send money to a fake church, send it to Scientology."

[randys1]

1. OMG, this is my sig from now on

"Setting up churches is all fun and games until someone gets sperm in an envelope"

[Angry Dragon]

2. lol

[erronis]

3. That's really not fair to Scientology --- They're no more fake than any of the rest!

[trof]

4. John Oliver is a fucking gift!

Only a legal technicality keeps me from supporting him as Bernie's running mate.

[lindysalsagal]

5. "If you want to send it to a fake church..."

Hysterical!

I know a scientologist who just died from a gangreen foot. Idiot. Left grandchildren behind, and the husband had just died a year ago.

She could have survived with a trip to the hospiital, idiot.

And the really sick thing is, her income came from "advising" other scientologists to do the same thing: Commit suicide,
I guess god wantd her to stop doing that.....not that I even believe there's a god.

[colsohlibgal]

6. Funny And These Charlatans Need Exposed

Great seeing Rachel on as Wanda Jo.

I have always been astonished that otherwise sane people send money to those phonies.

I was quite close to my paternal grandparents and my grandmother, an otherwise sane person, would send money to Billy Graham. It irked my grandfather, I remember that.

[MrMickeysMom]

7. Jizz-us!

Praise him!