Monica Lewinsky: The price of shame TED

[Uncle Joe]

[6chars]

1. K&R

[zalinda]

2. Why doesn't she just go away?

She KNEW he was married and still went after him. Yes, he isn't blameless, but a 23 year old flashing a thong at an older man is one hell of a temptation. Can't stand the woman.

Z

[Uncle Joe]

3. She was 22 but that isn't what the video is about. n/t

[merrily]

4. According to her, he let her know he was interested and flashing the thong was her way

of letting him know she was interested as well.

I have no clue if that is true. Just putting her version out.

However, she has less reason to go away than he has. She did not cheat on her spouse to be with involved with him. She was not his employer. She broke no laws. She breached no duty to voters, etc. Of the two of them, he was the far more mature and worldly one. He was no innocent in this. He did not have to do what he did; and his participation with her is what made her famous--well that and the Paula Jones lawsuit and she had nothing to do with that. She's suffered a lot from what happened.

Expect her to just go away is odd, IMO. Moreover, I don't think she has that option.

[Ned Flanders]

14. She saved the semen-stained dress.

Who does that?

[merrily]

15. On the advice of Linda Tripp that she (ML) might need it to get herself out of trouble.

She thought Tripp was her friend. Again, 22.

[mdbl]

22. I thought Linda Tripps real name was John Goodman

[6chars]

6. did you watch the video?

she describes what it's like to be hated by 100s of millions of people for a youthful indiscretion, and humiliated and the butt of sex jokes for decades, and unable to live a normal life with threats and just never being able to be known for anything other than that one indiscretion. while Bill who was in power makes $100M in speeches etc.

and what does she do with this? she turns it around and makes the case that the internet enables shaming and that hurts a lot of people now and this has to stop. it's too bad that her existence reminds people of something that embarrassed the Clintons, but after all that has been thrown at her since the 1990s, she is standing tall.

[840high]

9. Why should see. She

deserves a life. Bill didn't go away.

[Cheese Sandwich]

5. I don't think any president these days could get away with oral sex from White House interns

[Archae]

11. Unless the President is Republican...

Linda Tripp said she had evidence that George HW Bush was having an affair in the White House, that's why when the Clintons had her sorry ass fired from the Pentagon, George W Bush never offered her another job.

And Warren Harding made Bill Clinton look faithful, he even conceived a child with a staffer in a White House closet!

[Cheese Sandwich]

12. I doubt Obama could have gotten away with it

For starters Michelle would have kicked his ass.

But just even in the public mind times have changed in the past 20 years. I think a president would be forced to resign over something like that these days.

[Bigredhunk]

19. Yup

Jennifer Flowers

[newthinking]

18. The potential for blackmail, especially since even high government officials have

been bugged by the security state is a consideration for any future President.

[Cheese Sandwich]

24. Thank goodness there was no such thing as blackmail in the 90s

[Jack Rabbit]

7. That was a very dignified talk.

I'm glad I watched it.

[trof]

31. same here

[840high]

8. k/r

[VMA131Marine]

10. It's a good talk

She has a relevant and positive message. No need for her to just go away.

[Uncle Joe]

13. I agree on all counts. n/t

[passiveporcupine]

16. Wow that was powerful

thank you Joe.

I am impressed with her intelligence, maturity and grace. I think this is a wonderful project for her to approach (too bad it couldn't have been sooner)...how can anyone else put as much into it, "compassionately" as she?

One thing she didn't bring up. I wonder how much this culture of shame has caused young people (mostly men) to go postal?

I think this is very important and am so glad for her she is reclaiming her life and doing something so positive with it.

[Uncle Joe]

17. I thought it was a powerful message and needed to be heard as well.

Peace to you, passiveporcupine.

[Hulk]

20. Am disappointed in some people's posts

Did you even listen to the video?...to the message? I'm really disappointed in a few responses that think she should "go away", and that she has nothing worth hearing.

What she did at 22 was not that unusual for someone at that age who was taken in by the charm and fame of some rock star or famous celebrity. Bill Clinton was married. So, guess that should be a real deterrent for a young woman, or man. So bone headed of a statement. Maybe for you, but certainly not for many.

She had a valuable message, and one that she was most qualified to deliver to ears that are attached to hearts and minds that can sometimes be so eager to condemn. I learned from her message. Maybe some of you didn't. But empathy and compassion are desperately needed in this cruel world today. And "standing up" is more courageous than piling on and perpetuating shame and humiliation to others.

Disappointed in some of these previous posts. I know I've done some shameful things in my life; and thank God the world far and near to me didn't learn of them.

[Mbrow]

23. +1

Good points, Thanks and thanks uncle Joe.

[Uncle Joe]

25. Well said, Hulk.

Peace to you.

[unapatriciated]

28. also disappointed

I always felt empathy for Monica, betrayed by her best friend and the man whom she thought she loved. At twenty-two we have all done things we regret.

[zalinda]

29. The problem is that she didn't love him

Her best friend, at the time, (a man, btw) said she was going to go to DC and was bringing her 'Presidential knee pads'. She thought he was a rock star and she was going to have sex with him, no matter what. She seduced him, not that he was unwilling. Reading things other than what the MSM put out there was interesting. Just about every MSM wanted to skewer Clinton and give a pass to Lewinski, almost calling him a pedophile. Some of the smaller papers who still had reporters, actually looked into the matter.

Yes, she was 22, but she also knew what she was doing was wrong. She has never apologized. Was he wrong too, of course. I'm not putting all on her, but she was far from innocent. I was on the Internet at that time, many of you weren't. It was nothing like it is now, there was very little social media, but quite a few smaller local papers were online.

Betrayed by her best friend? Who hasn't been betrayed at one point in their lives? I'm sorry, but if it had been me, and I had been caught in that situation, I would have put my head down and tried to stay out of the public spotlight, but she hasn't done that. Every time she pokes up her head the whole thing comes back, almost like she gets a little thrill.

I have seen the video, and she carefully avoids any guilt on her part. It's still being sold as all Clinton's fault, and it's not. And, btw, this was out before the Presidential campaigning started.

Z

[unapatriciated]

30. don't assume when and where I heard about this

I'm sixty-three. I'm not giving her a pass nor do I think this should play into the Presidential campaign.
As you said this vid came out before the campaign started.

"I'm sorry, but if it had been me, and I had been caught in that situation, I would have put my head down and tried to stay out of the public spotlight, but she hasn't done that. Every time she pokes up her head the whole thing comes back, almost like she gets a little thrill."

Why should she spend her life being slut shamed just because some might be uncomfortable with her message.

[zalinda]

32. If she hadn't come back in the public eye

she would not be slut shamed. It was her choice to do it. She is not poor. She is doing quite well in her own circle of wealth. So why do it? Her whole history was fading away until she decided to do a TED. There was a whole generation who knew nothing of her. Even her appearance in a news article was barely a blip in social media.

For me, it was not the sex act, it was the betrayal of wedding vows. If Clinton had been single, I wouldn't have cared in the slightest. If she didn't know he was married, again no problem. The fact that she KNEW he was married, and probably met his wife, is what I have a problem with. Yes, Clinton shouldn't have done it, but he couldn't have done it without a very willing partner. Trying to break up a marriage, is not an ethical thing to do.

I went out for coffee with a guy, who asked me if I would have an affair with him. My answer was that I never date a married man, I couldn't do that to his wife. His reply, "why not, you don't know her". Why would I do to someone, what I wouldn't want done to me?

Z

[unapatriciated]

33. wow just wow

why does she have to settle for your legacy of "slut" verses creating a new one that promotes empathy in dealing with cyber bulling.

President Clinton is creating a legacy with their foundation. He is not hiding in the shadows because of the risk of he might be shamed. Yet that is what you want for her, to forever remain in the shadows or be slut shamed. Again wow just wow.

I have never understood this type of rationalization by women. She did not take or break those vows.

"For me, it was not the sex act, it was the betrayal of wedding vows. If Clinton had been single, I wouldn't have cared in the slightest. If she didn't know he was married, again no problem"

My ex cheated on me many times I blamed him (he and he alone vowed to be faithful) not the other women who were drawn in by his lies.

[zalinda]

34. Clinton didn't lie to her

She KNEW he was married and set out to seduce him. Whether or not she intended to break up the marriage she had no concern for another person. That is my point.

If a woman has sex with your husband because he lies to her, is different than she goes after him KNOWING that he is married. Yes, he is at fault too, but there needs to be 2 people to create the cheating. If she initiates the encounter, what does it say about her?

What do you say to a person who gives a drink to a known alcoholic? Or gives drugs to a known recovering drug user? Or any of the known temptations? It isn't about the sex act, it is about the intent of the person. It is about having so little regard for another person's feelings that you do whatever you want to do even if it harms the other person.

Take the sex out of the act, that is not my issue. It is the issue of knowingly hurting another person and not giving a damn about it.

Z

[polly7]

37. She "that woman" was shamed in every way possible

to the point she believed herself that what she'd done was who she was.

It wasn't, any more than the wrong things you or I have done should make our lives intolerable because that's who we see ourselves as.

She's reclaiming her self-identity and sharing her journey in the hopes that others will do the same - whether their shame comes from an affair, sexual abuse or something else (that those without shame, punish them for forever - slut-shaming?).

I'm glad for her.

[demmiblue]

36. +1

[mdbl]

21. Great video

Who would have thought she would grow up to be such a balanced person that can relate an emotional and important message. I am glad she made it through all the crap to give back to all of us.

[CTyankee]

26. I lay the blame almost completely on Bill. He was the most powerful man in the

world and knew what the consequences could have been. He could have sent Monica away and told his staff that she could no longer be admitted to the WH under any circumstances.

[Dems to Win]

27. After Bill goes away, I'll call for Monica to go away

It's so unfair that he has gone on to great money and respect while some people tell her to go away so as to not to interfere with the Clinton's ambitions.

I won't be voting for Hillary in the primary because I think it is outrageous and disgusting to even consider returning Bill to the White House in any capacity, even as first spouse. Among other reasons.

[demmiblue]

35. I saw this when it first came out... reallly good TED talk. K&R

[MrMickeysMom]

38. I'm going to hit this head on, no pun intended...

But, I recall before getting serious about what I was going to do the rest of my life, making some pretty bad decisions. If anyone had a smart phone then, I would be haunted for the rest of my life.

How pure is everyone else here? How stupid would anyone be to take the advice of someone ready to sell out anything in order to get back at anyone?

My favorite president, John Fitzgerald Kennedy probably would have had some whoppers to be seen on YouTube. I wonder if it's true that Nancy Reagan, while a starlet in Hollywood really did some things that would blow JFK out of the water on Instagram?

So, this is where all the dumb ass outcomes have come to... That because we have a culture that we haven't dealt with very well, all of the cyber bullying will continue unless we call attention to our culture.

That's what Monica Lewinsky was saying. I don't excuse hers or anyone else's actions, including my own. But, I at least can relate to her message.

Anyone here who wishes this would "go away" might want to think about that some more . Then, maybe it WILL finally go away.

Thanks, Uncle Joe, for posting this.

[Uncle Joe]

39. It was my pleasure, I believe Monica presented a valid and much needed message

regarding the issues of cyber bullying, humiliation and compassion.

Peace to you, MrMickeysMom.