I have a question for DU moms.

[Initech]

So I was at a dinner party last week and there was one of my neighbors - who I do like, that recently had a baby in the last year or so. But the entire time she was there, talked about *NOTHING* else but the baby. And then proceeded to tell - in extreme detail mind you - the intimate details of diaper changes, feeding schedules, breast pumping, the birth, and all the other day to day necessities of being the mother of an infant. And it was making other people at the tables a bit uneasy. So my question is - is this normal for new moms? Is this considered proper etiquette? I really want to know.

And the other question is - how does one in this situation change the subject without offending? Do you just sit there and nod which is what I did?

[enough]

1. It probably depends on whether the others at the table are also parents or

grandparents of new babies. For them, the subject is endlessly interesting.

[tymorial]

2. I guess it depends. My wife was never like this with our daughter and neither was I.

I work out of the home (so to speak) while my wife drives into the city. For the most part I have been the primary caretaker since she was born but I have never really discussed those things to that level of detail. I have had conversations with friends about the difficulties we have had with our daughter's challenges but otherwise no not really. I have seen others do what you describe though. I think its just individual people not a general thing.

[unblock]

3. i think i can plead guilty to doing that a few times when mini-unblock was born.

other than the being the mom part

it's a life-changing event and it can consume you and that can result in oversharing.

i'd consider it normal but a simple "tmi" will do or "tell me more when we're done eating" if a little snark is ok.

[Initech]

6. Yeah I don't mind conversations about babies.

But the oversharing of every minute detail is a bit on the weird side. I'd definitely go the TMI route.

[janterry]

4. Yes

It's so consuming. I mean, no one told me that breastfeeding was such a BIG thing.

I don't remember much about the other subjects (I 'attachment parented' my daughter - so the whole AP thing was big - slings/co-sleeping/cloth diapers).

TBH, most of my daughter's early years were spent with other parents, so we were all pretty much on the same wave length.

If I weren't interested in those topics, I might just say - wow, that's all outside the realm of my experience. Can you tell me more about what you do for a living/studied in school/your life in the peace corp.

Or. Have you heard much about XYZ (stuff you are interested in). For instance, I work at ________or am writing a book about ____________.

[hlthe2b]

5. I don't recall it being acceptable in social settings before--perhaps it goes along with the

social media trend of revealing every damned mundane thing throughout your day, which baffles me.

As bad as the constant child "poop" discussions (from infant diapers to potty training) can be, I attended a sit-down dinner 'party' not that long ago where a young woman, currently pregnant, thought it appropriate to discuss in detail every single intimate change in her body (from weight to swollen ankles to hemorrhoids, flatulence and difficult bowel movements) through and including detailed descriptions of the challenges in having sex. I have never been more thankful in my life that I had attended solo, given my partner had had to work late. It was all I could do not to say something or immediately leave.

As I work in medicine, my experience includes a lot of unpleasant physical and graphic, sometimes traumatic grotesque realities--none of which I would EVER think appropriate to discuss at a social event. So, why, I ask, do they?

[Initech]

8. That's what I was wondering.

Like is this really appropriate? Is this something all new moms do? And then I get e-mails from event stuff like the Improv, and they had a show called "The Pump And Dump: A Parentally Incorrect Night Out" which I'm sure is for people like this. As a single male, definitely not my cup of tea!

[GallopingGhost]

7. We seem to live in a time

where people don't think twice about sharing the most intimate details of their lives with anyone who will listen, no matter the setting, so I think it's probably the new normal for many people. I don't agree with it and never did it. No matter how much you love your baby, no one wants to hear about diaper changes at a dinner party. It was gross, rude, monopolizing and inappropriate.

Because you like the woman, and she is your neighbor and you were at a dinner party, several pointed, repeated attempts to change the subject is about all you could have done. Hopefully she would have taken the hint.

[Initech]

9. I tried to be like "So... anyone see the new Thor movie yet?"

Apparently didn't go over so well!

[GallopingGhost]

12. Hopefully the baby

isn't a boy named Thor! lol

I don't know. Some people are just solid concrete from the neck up.

[Guilded Lilly]

10. Id say it is normal for new moms but

Not great etiquette at a social dinner gathering where moderation in topic is generally considered the best approach.

I am a bit of a rabble rouser anyway so I would probably steer the conversation towards a non-infant subject after complimenting her on her dedication to motherhood. A small opening is all you would need.

[FM123]

11. nothing feels normal to a new mom

It has been many many many years since I had my babies, but the one thing I do recall is that I was so incredibly sleep deprived those first few months that I did not feel (or probably behave) like anything resembling a normal person. Perhaps your neighbor's "radar" was down due to fatigue and she didn't pick up on how much she was droning on and on and getting on everyone's nerves....

Only solution I could think of is plying her with food, hard to talk with your mouth full, lol.

[Initech]

13. Yeah I think they don't get out of the house much. I get that.

[snowybirdie]

14. Poor thing

She needs an outlet other than mothering. Poor child will be suffocated if she continues on this. Since she gave birth a year or so ago, this isn't normal. (Five of my own and 17 grands)

[Iggo]

15. Absolutely normal.

[irisblue]

16. As an aunt of several...

my sisters seemed to only talk in great detail about the baby for awhile. Boring as hell somedays.

[Phentex]

17. I think it's normal...

It's their focus for the time being so it's fresh on their minds. I don't know how proper it is but I wouldn't be offended by it. I usually smile and nod.

I was recently with a group and all they could talk about was getting their kids into college and how stressful it was for them and how busy they were because of it and blah blah blah...as if no one else had ever been through it themselves.

Next up: health issues.

[Laffy Kat]

18. Heck, yeah.

I've got two kids. Pregnant women and new moms are totally self-absorbed. As I recall, it was all about me and my baby. Thankfully, though, I think the only people I hung out with at that time were other pregnant women and new moms. Our conversations were 99.9% about our pregnancies, deliveries, and babies. If it was a couples get together, the new dads tended to split off and talk more about guy stuff, or whatever. I must have been an absolute bore to my single and/or childless friends.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

19. I'm glad I'm finally too old to have friends who have recently had babies

because a monologue about poop and pee and episiotomies and nipples and all that other biology is not fun dinner conversation, and it's almost impossible to get the subject changed.