Worst Comedian Ever?

[red dog 1]

Last edited Mon Dec 4, 2017, 08:25 PM - Edit history (4)

Dennis Miller is now my choice because he's an asshole, as well as being possibly the worst comedian ever.

32 votes, 3 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	Amy Schumer
	1 (3%)
	Carrot Top
	6 (19%)
	Larry the Cable Guy
	2 (6%)
	Jeff Foxworthy
	0 (0%)
	Dennis Miller
	12 (38%)
	Pauly Shore
	7 (22%)
	Emo Phillips
	0 (0%)
	Joe Rogan
	1 (3%)
	Andy Dick
	3 (9%)
	Russell Brand
	0 (0%)
	3 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[SeattleVet]

1. Andrew Dice Clay

Could never stomach the guy and his 'persona'.

[DangerousUrNot]

3. I highly disliked him.

[red dog 1]

5. He's not going on the list

I like him, and I loved his movie "Ford Fairlane"

[CrispyQ]

75. "Hit pay dirt with K dirt!"

I loved that movie, too. Brain Smasher was good, too.

[red dog 1]

79. + 1

Last edited Mon Dec 4, 2017, 08:05 PM - Edit history (1)

I would have liked to see more of Gilbert Gottfried, but I'm glad he was in it anyway.
The kid was good, and so was "Zu Zu Pettles"
But probably the best acting in the film was done by Lauren Holly who played his secretary, Jazz.

Did you know that the studio pulled the movie after only 1 week?
They bought out his contract.
(The producer was getting death threats)

The entire movie is up on You Tube.

Diceman now has his own series on Netflix.

[Trailrider1951]

7. That's the one

What a misogynistic asshole! Thank gawd he's gone from the public airwaves!

[red dog 1]

12. Speaking of misogynistic assholes...

I look forward to the day when Donald J. Trump is "gone from the public airwaves"

(I can't STAND hearing his whiny little voice every single day on the radio)

[Trailrider1951]

14. Yup, Rump's far worse

I don't even turn on TV "news" anymore. His departure is LONG overdue!

[red dog 1]

16. We don't even have TV anymore

(No cable, no satellite dish, nothing!)

So I listen to the radio a lot,

(I like NPR & other public radio news shows, but I need to be close to the radio so I can turn it off whenever the Orange Asshole comes on)

[Submariner]

101. Dice the series is on Showtime now

I apologize for ruining your evening. And yes, it’s rude and crude.

[Ferrets are Cool]

45. Ding, Ding, Ding We have a winna

[IADEMO2004]

52. You listed my worst first. All others a distant second.

[OregonBlue]

76. That was my first thought exactly. Male chauvanist ugly pig.

[bagelsforbreakfast]

104. +1

[ghostsinthemachine]

2. Nah CT has ONE good joke

They should sell post-it notes with every bottle of tequila, that way you can start on your apologies as you go...(or something like that).

[TexasBushwhacker]

87. Yeah. I never found Carrot Top's prop comedy funny

Plus, he's just so freaky looking.

[DangerousUrNot]

4. Joe Rogan

He is horrible on stage but he can be funny on his podcast.

[red dog 1]

46. Joe Rogan made it to number 11 on www.toptens.com "Worst Stand-Up Comedians Ever list"

My favorite comment on him there was:

"I was forced to listen to his pod cast today on a road trip....I wanted to jump from the moving vehicle within minutes."

[DangerousUrNot]

51. Thats funny.

I used to listen to his podcast faithfully but now it’s just a bunch of libertarian, anti-SJW talk, anti-identity politics talk.
To me, he can be funny when he is messing around with his friends, telling stories but as soon as he hits the stage, it’s a bunch of yelling and unfunny jokes about him taking edibles getting high.

[AJT]

6. Kellyann Conway.......she really was a stand-up comedian.

[red dog 1]

9. Her reference to the "Bowling Green Massacre" was hilarious!

[ClarendonDem]

8. Was Rosie really a stand-up comedian?

She's super-unfunny. But so is Carrot Top and many others.

[red dog 1]

11. Well, she is supposedly "a comedian"

(maybe I ought to "tweak" the title of this little charade)

[ClarendonDem]

13. I just can't recall any standup routine from Rosie

But when I think of comedians I think of Richard Pryor, and to a lesser extent Bob Marley (from Maine) and Dave Chappelle.

[red dog 1]

17. You're right - She's not a "stand-up" comedian

So I changed the title of this thread//poll

[ClarendonDem]

20. By the way

Wasn't being critical at all. Just couldn't recall her doing stand-up. My memories of Rosie are largely limited to her talk show.

[OriginalGeek]

71. she used to host a weekly stand-up comic show

on cable and she did stand-up too. I remember her being funny. Long before talk show days.


Hell, I remember Jay Leno being funny doing stand-up. He got super lame when he moved to talk show hosting.

[Hayduke Bomgarte]

18. Around the mid 80's

She was a stand up comic. She MC'ed a stand showcase show on cable. Did an opening bit then introduced the other comics. Can't recall whether it was on MTV or A&E. Televised stand up comedy shows were popular then and on several cable networks.

Oh yeah, Rosie wore a top hat and an "abbreviated" tuxedo,that was probably meant to be sexy. She was neither funny, nor to my tastes, sexy.

[hibbing]

47. Yes, she actually was a stand up

She performed on Carson several times as such.


Peace

[Laffy Kat]

10. I wish I could have picked Bob Hope.

I watched him growing up and never as much as cracked a grin. Never understood his appeal.

[red dog 1]

15. I watched him growing up too

I also watched quite a few of his movies, but I don't think he deserves to be on the
"Worst Comedian Ever" list.

[Merlot]

42. The only reason bob hope doesn't deserve to be on the "worst comedian" list

is becasue it's a stretch to call him a comedian.

[FSogol]

64. Disagree with everyone on Bob Hope. By the 1960s, he was a master of ceremonies type,

telling 2-bit celebrity jokes and appearing in variety shows. It was all quite boring.

But if you look at his work in the 1940s in both movies and radio, he was hilarious. In one bit, whenever Cosby would try to wake him, he'd sleepily proclaim, "I'll get a job tomorrow, Mom."
Check him out for guest appearances on old-time radio shows. Hope was very funny.

[Merlot]

69. He was awful by the 60's, but I've seen heis 40's movies and he was the worst part

just never funny IMO. Something mean about him, in fact.

[bagelsforbreakfast]

105. Have to disagree here - the zombie island one with Goddard was great

[MrPurple]

106. Yes, Woody Allen based how he acted cowardly in movies on old Bob Hope stuff

I've heard him talk about it in interviews

[Hayduke Bomgarte]

19. Emo Phillips

Should be on that list.

[red dog 1]

23. I agree!

Now - Who do I take down to make room for him?

[red dog 1]

30. Emo Phillips is now on the list

(btw, he's worth $3 million)

[Laffy Kat]

33. Oh god, yes.

That high-pitched, sing-song voice of his nauseates me. When I hear him on the radio comedy channel I have to turn the channel immediately.

[JDC]

49. Winner

[Ron Obvious]

80. His style and delivery can be grating...

But I always thought his material was pretty good.

Disclaimer: all this is based on his E=MO2 album in the eighties.

[ClarendonDem]

21. Also don't find Schumer funny

We saw Sarah Silverman about a year ago, and while some of her show was pretty funny, some of it was just sort of mean and uncomfortable.

[red dog 1]

24. Who did you vote for?

Last edited Sun Dec 3, 2017, 10:31 PM - Edit history (1)

[red dog 1]

43. I love Sarah Silverman!

I've never seen her in person; but I first saw her back in the early days of "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher" and she cracked me up.

She's also a pretty good actress....I think she was great in "School of Rock"

My favorite Sarah Silverman line was from an MTV Comedy Roast.
After seeing Courtney Love in the audience, she said:
"It's good to see Courtney Love here because I left my crack in my other purse!"

[Initech]

22. This guy:

[GoneOffShore]

95. He is annoying, but I loved his bit about visitors coming to the house.

[Boomerproud]

25. Gilbert Gottfried and Howie Mandel

Can't stand either of them. I could vote for anyone on the poll as well.

[red dog 1]

29. You're right about Howie Mandel

But i like Gilbert a lot!
("The Aristocrats&quot

Howie Mandel is worth between $40 million & $80 million, depending on which source you believe.

[hibbing]

26. Dane Cook n/t

[red dog 1]

32. He made it to number 1 on a "Worst Stand-Up Comedians Ever" list

www.thetoptens.com

Did you know that he has five comedy albums?

[hibbing]

35. hehe

That's funny about being on the worst stand up list. I figured he had a few albums out. I know he's popular with some people as are most all on the poll.

Peace

[red dog 1]

40. He made it to number ONE on the worst stand-up list!

One of the comments about him on www.thetoptens.com was:

"Why is this guy a comedian?
If he could just learn to shut up he could be a very successful mime"

[FSogol]

44. +1 n/t

[Saviolo]

54. 100% this

The funniest thing he ever did was a 10 second cameo in Mystery Men.

[stopbush]

57. Bingo

[Glamrock]

102. That's my vote...

He's just awful. He made me think about going into stand-up myself. I thought, "if this guy can get an HBO special....."

[itsrobert]

27. These are all people making a living as comedians.

Why put them down? Obviously they aren't the worst. Many more fail.

[red dog 1]

38. So your suggestion is to only list comedians who AREN'T "making a living as comedians"?

Where would I even find such a list?

If they "aren't making a living as comedians" ..who would ever KNOW any of them?

[MrPurple]

28. Gallagher - way too much success for smashing fruit

At least Carrot Top had some creative prop jokes.

[pressbox69]

61. That's the guy.

I couldn't remember his name. Less talented than a kunquat. He smashed fruit but his act was the pits.

[Ken Burch]

81. And he ended up in a court case with his lookalike brother, who also performs as "Gallagher!"

over who had the right to smash melons in the act.

[MrPurple]

91. Hilarious segments on Howard Stern and Mark Maron showing what a hack Gallagher is in recent years

Worth watching on Youtube if you're interested. Gallagher still tours and makes lots of insensitive (and lame) "fag" jokes and when Mark Maron put him on the spot about it on his podcast, he walked out. There's also a brilliant segment where Gallagher is on the Howard Stern show and Stern plays to his ego and shines him on, telling him how he's the greatest and smartest comic ever and Gallagher ends up trashing Letterman, Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Conan OBrien and others as not real comics like him.

He has a huge complex about not being in demand any more and is delusional about thinking that he's more talented than everyone else. He was carrying on about how Seinfeld isn't a real comic unlike Gallagher, he doesn't play the Idaho state fair and can't appeal to "real Americans". The Stern interview is an entertaining watch on Youtube - just about 20 minutes.

[Ken Burch]

93. As I've always said, if you want REAL comedy, go to the Idaho State Fair.

Last edited Tue Dec 5, 2017, 04:49 PM - Edit history (2)

I read an article in The Stranger(the alternative paper)in, I think 2009 or 2010(this exchange just brought it up in my mind)where Gallagher was performing in some small "red zone" tone in Washington state and half his jokes were bashing Obama...he also supposedly smashed a lot MORE watermelons while doing so.

I think what it really comes down to with Gallagher is that he never had a movie career, and he probably thinks other comedians and "the liberals" ganged up to stop him from achieving his true destiny as The Jerry Lewis of Produce.

[Bradshaw3]

31. How the hell can you not include Dennis Miller?

It is not just his awful politics. He is totally unfunny.

[red dog 1]

36. You're absolutely right!

(I guess I'll have to take down Rosie O'Donnell to make room for that asshole)

[Bradshaw3]

58. Thanks!

[red dog 1]

37. OK- You can vote for Dennis Miller now!

(Thanks for the suggestion)

[MrPurple]

73. Miller was funny in the 90s before he became the FoxNews comic

I liked Miller's 90's standup and his HBO show. His jokes back then didn't target the left more than the right - he often went after rednecks or stupid conservative things. He might be someone who became more right wing after 9/11, but he seems to have completely sold out to become the FoxNews comic.

The right wing incarnation of Dennis Miller is about as funny as Sean Hannity and is one of the worst comics of all time, but I think he had reasonable talent before he sold out.

[Dulcinea]

85. Agreed.

I enjoyed his HBO show in the 90s.

[VMA131Marine]

34. Pauly Shore ...

[Eugene]

39. Larry the Cable Guy's act is comedy?

That's interesting.

[stonecutter357]

41. Pauly Shore and this proves IT ...

[peacebuzzard]

48. I am a failure with comedy

Did not recognize most of the choices.

[red dog 1]

50. I never heard about Joe Rogan before,

but the others I'm familiar with.

[doc03]

53. I think Jay Leno should be on that list nt

[Orrex]

66. I recall him doing some truly funny stand-up on Letterman

But that was decades ago, long before he took over the hosting gig on The Tonight Show.

[MrPurple]

77. Yes, he was hilarious as an 80's Letterman guest - toned down his act on the Tonight Show

He used to ride onto the stage on a Harley in s leather jacket and had much edgier material. I remember one bit about how skeezy the circus is and that it's strange that people view it as family entertainment that had me on the floor.

[doc03]

89. On the Tonight Show he repeated the punch line all the time drove up the wall. I agree

he was better in his younger years.

[MrPurple]

90. He aimed for the lowest common denominator on the Tonight Show and sadly that works for ratings

Also, a big part of that show is interviewing and Leno is a horrible interviewer. He goes into that high pitched giggle and never asked questions that elicited more interesting info from the guests. He really became more of a hack as the years went on.

[Locut0s]

55. Any comedian who's shtick is just having a chip on their shoulder...

Anger can be side splitting funny when used to deliver a message. Some of the best comedians have acts that are full of sarcastic, razor sharp whit, but also full of anger. But it has to be anger at something we all can relate to legitimately being angry against, like the rich defrauding the poor, or simply that ass hole customer in front of us in line demanding to be treated like a king.

But there are a lot of terrible comedians who's who acts seem to be about how angry they are at the world for personally hurting them. Women stood them up, cashier is too stupid to give back proper change, fat people taking up too much room. These comedians just come across as sexist, racist, ass holes. And there are a lot of them!

[Upthevibe]

56. Dennis Miller gets my vote...n/t

[ProfessorGAC]

62. Lewis Black Is Good At That!

Unrelenting anger and disgust, but stuff that's worth being worked up about.

[Algernon Moncrieff]

59. As an aside, I've met Carrot Top IRL

I worked with him. Really nice guy.

[OriginalGeek]

72. my wife met him

and said the same thing. She met a lot of people working at Orlando International Airport and she remember him as being one of the very best people.

I don't think he or Amy Schumer or Emo Phillips belong in this poll. They are all really funny.

[Stargleamer]

60. Adam Sandler n/t

[MrPurple]

98. He's massively overrated, don't like his movies, but he's not the worst

[a kennedy]

63. Is Will Ferrell a sand up comedian??? Lots of folks think he's just sooooooo funny

may-be it's just movies they like, I don't find him in the least funny.

[geardaddy]

65. They're all pretty awful.

I'd say the one on the list that I find mildly entertaining is Amy Schumer. All the others blow chunks.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

67. Tom Green should be on the list.

Strange humor.

[T_i_B]

68. Russell Brand is pretty dreadful

I would also mention Ricky Gervais, John Bishop and Frankie Boyle from this side of the pond here.

[OriginalGeek]

70. I've seen Carrot Top live twice

The first time he was hilarious. The second time, many years later, he was funny but I think I had heard a lot of the act in bits on TV and the internet so there wasn't as much punch.

Either way, my wife used to work at an airport gift-shop and he came in one day on his way home from tour and she said he was easily one of the nicest people she ever met. Unless something weird and new comes up (he's on the Spacey list or something like that) you won't hear me bad-mouthing him.

Do puppeteers count? Because I can't stand Jeff Dunham. If not I'll have to split my votes between Foxworth, Cable guy and Miller.

I like most of the others on the list.

[TexasBushwhacker]

88. Jeff Dunham is painfully unfunny

And he laughs at his own "jokes".

[Codeine]

74. Sam Kinison.

Last edited Mon Dec 4, 2017, 10:20 PM - Edit history (1)

That guy was really unbearable.

Dennis Miller was genuinely funny before the brainworms got to him.

[LeftInTX]

86. Yes, he just was awful!!

[MrPurple]

97. I think he was talented, but it was perforance art that was fueled by cocaine

[jmowreader]

78. Jerry Seinfeld

I don't think he's even a little bit funny.

The rest of the guys on this list? Even Carrot Top has a few semi-humorous bits. But Seinfeld? His whole act seems to be whining about how bad his life is going.

[red dog 1]

83. + 1

I never thought he was funny either; but I love the TV sit-com, "Seinfeld"

[czarjak]

82. Greg Gutfeld?

Wait, you said comedian, right?

[OilemFirchen]

84. Rob Schneider.

We watched the first episode of his "comedy" show on Netflix.

O to the M to the G. It was quadruple knitting-needle horrid.

[Paladin]

92. Dennis Miller, by a mile.

The right-wing, conceited sack of shit.

[PassingFair]

94. Dennis Miller out of this bunch... but I REALLY can't stand

Norm McDonald.

He reminds me of the roommate of a guy used to date.
Sat and sneered at me every time I was around.

[Wolf Frankula]

96. Mort the snort Sahl

I saw him live many years ago. He wasn't funny, just lame Kennedy and beatnik jokes. Cathy turned to me and asked "Is he supposed to be funny?" I have seen his routines over the years. He never was funny.

Andrew Dice Clay. I once read a description of him that was dead on. He's the little kid who walks into his mom's card party and yells, "Billy told me some naughty words! Wanna hear 'em? Damn! Penis! Shit! Hell!"

Wolf

[red dog 1]

99. Mort Sahl is 90 and still performing

I remember hearing Enrico Banducci, the owner of the Hungry I nightclub in San Francisco, tell the story about one night back in the 1950s, in the middle of Mort Sahl's act, Banducci turned the house lights on, took the microphone from Sahl, and apologized to the audience, offering a refund to anyone who wanted their money back.
(Years later, Sahl & Banducci reconciled their differences)

I wonder what Mort Sahl thinks of Trump?

[MortSahlFan]

107. Mort made the GREATEST joke about Trump

"I wonder how Trump would have handled Hitler?"

"I'd FIRE him!"

(Everyone died of laughter)

[Stargleamer]

100. Don Rickles n/t

[bagelsforbreakfast]

103. How does Russell brand get votes here? Dennisi miller by a mile!