Deutschland: "Taking the gruffness and staring too personally" (is a mistake for Americans)

[steve2470]

Is this true or some concocted BS? I damn sure don't want to get into any unnecessary brouhahas when I visit Berlin next month.

https://www.eurocheapo.com/blog/berlin-avoid-7-first-time-tourist-mistakes-visiting.html

Taking the gruffness and staring too personally

Berliners pride themselves on being direct and never beating around the bush. Unfortunately, this “directness” can sometimes seem more like aggressive rudeness: It’s not uncommon to see a grandma yelling at someone for riding a bicycle on the sidewalk or two strangers cussing each other out so strongly it would get them seriously beat up in many other parts of the world.

But true Berliners are an outspoken, thick-skinned bunch. They don’t mean such things personally and also don’t take them personally. If you run into such a Berliner Schnauze on your trip, it’s best to keep your cool and maybe give them a little bit of attitude back. A sarcastic comment goes a long way, and they’ll respect you more for it.

Eye contact is also more socially acceptable than it is in the US, so don’t be unnerved if you find people staring at you. Maybe they’re admiring your shirt, wondering where you got that ham sandwich or are simply bored and you just happen to be sitting across from them. Either way, it’s unlikely they’re judging you or think you’re the hottest thing around. It’s just normal to stare, so feel free to stare back.

[fleur-de-lisa]

1. My daughter lives in Berlin and she has told me many such stories.

She moved there in 2008. She says it's frequent occurrence to be yelled at for jaywalking or some other offense that Americans rarely think twice about. Berliners will yell at you and tell you you're setting a bad example for the children. She also told me that you might be berated for cooking with garlic or other smelly ingredients if you live in an apartment building. Weird.

[steve2470]

2. glad you confirmed this

I will probably be shocked when I am first accosted for some ticketing offense or "unruly behavior" on my part /sarcasm

I damn sure won't stare back! Sorry, too culturally ingrained in me not to stare!

[Fla Dem]

7. Difference being, they're not afraid of anyone pulling out a concealed weapon and shooting them.

I used to be pretty demonstrative (after 20 years driving in Boston traffic) at drivers who cut me off or did something dangerous and/or stupid. But no more. Never know who may be packing heat and respond by shooting.

[steve2470]

8. very true! nt

[cwydro]

3. Meh. Sounds like New Yorkers.

As a southerner, I was very taken aback when I first encountered New Yorkers.

Now I know it’s just the way they interact.

[Solly Mack]

4. Germans are very direct and to the point.

I lived in Germany for several years and that direct way of speaking was one of my favorite things about living there.

[Jake Stern]

5. Germans need to chill the freak out

with people who don't move in the checkout line fast enough. Swear it sounds like the TB ward with all the annoyed clearing of throats.

[FakeNoose]

6. The comment about tipping is true for all of Germany

3. Tipping American style
In Berlin, tipping is seen as an extra “danke”( “thank you”) for attentive, friendly service. If the service was lousy (sadly, this can often be the case in Berlin) it’s perfectly acceptable not to tip. Otherwise, you should always tip a maximum of 10%.

Most people just round up the bill. For example, if the bill was €4.30, you would give the waiter a five and tell them “stimmt so,” which translates loosely as “keep the change.” To prove you’re not an absolute greenhorn, be sure you always personally hand the tip to the waiter when paying the bill; it’s not customary to just leave it on the table.

We Americans assume that tipping in Europe us just like in America, either 15% or 20% of the bill depending on the place and the service. However in Germany waitstaff are paid full salaries plus benefits, so tipping isn't strictly necessary. Most customers will give the waiter or waitress a few coins to round up the bill. Or wait until you receive change, and hand a Euro coin or two directly to the waiter, saying "Danke schön." The tip is called a Trinkgeld, but I think they know the word "tip" also.

In Germany the waiters accept payment and make change right at the table, immediately in front of the customers. I've never been to a restaurant where they accepted a credit card so I don't know how that would be done. It's definitely bad form to not have enough cash on hand when paying your bill.

[Aristus]

9. Waiters can be amazing in Germany.

I frequented a Chinese restaurant not far outside the gate of the post where I was stationed in Germany. The waiter was Chinese, and spoke his native language, German, and English. We often paid him in US dollars; he would make change in marks (this was before the Euro) and the change was either exactly or pretty close to the current dollar-mark exchange rate. And he did the calculation in his head. The exchange rate was posted daily in the lobby of the post bank branch. So people who cared about such things always knew what their dollar would buy.

[FakeNoose]

10. Yes I'm aware that they used to accept US $ but not they're allowed any more

I think the Germans did it as a courtesy for the GI's and American tourists. But it's not allowed any more, so be sure to get Euros when you land at the airport. A huge plus is that the same Euros are accepted in most of the European countries now. (Only a few don't accept them, but you probably won't go there anyway.)