Post your favorite euphemism for going to the bathroom

[Major Nikon]

My latest favorite is...

I'm going to shake hands with the President.

[KPN]

1. Haha. Very close to mine.

After reading just the title, i was going to say "going to say hello to the President".

[Eyeball_Kid]

53. I've got a few rolls of Trump toilet paper, so it's slightly more real and a more graphic version of

telling it to Trumpy's face. The odd fun occurs by laying down a sheet in the water and letting it all go in the name of all the enraged and motivated neverTrumpers.

Eh.. enjoy your breakfast.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

2. I cant beat that!

Pun intended! 😏

[Major Nikon]

4. Broke drum

[no_hypocrisy]

3. Indisposed.

[Chemisse]

5. Mine goes back to The Fonz of Happy Days.

I like to refer to it as a need to "use the facilities."

My high school students find the formality of it pretty funny, and it's a nice contrast to comments such as, "I gotta go take a dump."

[Motley13]

6. ¿Donde esta el bao?

baño


wouldn't take ñ in the title

[Major Nikon]

10. Casa de pipi

Alternatively, casa de ca-ca

[demigoddess]

28. I learned it as Donde esta el servicio.

[Cirque du So-What]

7. Gonna take my daily constitutional

implying that, like a daily walk, it has some therapeutic value.

[Bradshaw3]

8. Dropping a duece

[Major Nikon]

9. Other favorites...

I'm going to release the Kraken

Time to walk the snake

I need to go water the lemon tree

[Runningdawg]

11. I need to visit Miss Murphy

I grew up living with extended family. All the women used this expression.

[cornball 24]

12. Performing Morning Ablutions.

[TlalocW]

13. I'm pretty clinical about it

I need to go evacuate my bowels.

Sometimes in a Boston accent - I have to go take a wicked pissah!

TlalocW

[pnwest]

14. Dropping the kids off at the pool

[Major Nikon]

15. Going to take the Browns to the Superbowl

[pnwest]

16. ROFL!!!

[underpants]

27. Getting a "road win"

For when I'm away from home.

[lastlib]

44. "...where the players really feel the flush of victory!" eom

[Ohiogal]

52. HA HA!

[Glorfindel]

17. "I must go powder my nose."

About as euphemistic as one can get.

[malchickiwick]

18. Scuse me while I vote Republican.

[hermetic]

19. Going to

shake the dew off the lily. Heard this in TN a lot, many years ago.

[Iggo]

20. Gotta get rid of some excess water weight.

[benld74]

21. Time to load the commode

[mac56]

22. Shake hands with the unemployed.

Drain the main vein.

[WheelWalker]

46. Bleed the lizard

[Bucky]

23. "Excuse me while I feed the trees" (only used for outside)

Indoors I'll say something like "make a strafing run", or more prosaically "hit the head".

Also used:
* draw Excalibre
* drop a duke
* catch up on my reading
* make a Trump video

[Solly Mack]

24. Off to the library.

Have lots of books in the bathroom.

[unblock]

26. i liked that one from "all in the family"

these days it's smartphone time, though....

[Solly Mack]

61. Yeah, damn smart phones. I've considered putting a docking station in the guest bathroom.

[hibbing]

25. #1 #2

Drain the pickle
Drop the kids off at the pool


Peace

[applegrove]

29. Spend a penny. I had a British friend when I was 5. She lived next door.

She would always say that.

[LeftInTX]

30. I had a boyfriend who used to say:

"I'm gotta talk to a guy about a horse".

At first I took it literally....but I was bewildered cuz my BF was really into cars...He was so into cars that I thought horse was maybe slang for a car.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

37. I had a female friend who used to say that.

[COLGATE4]

31. Shake the snake

[First Speaker]

32. How about, "going to the bathroom?"...

...instead of going to the toilet. Or, for that matter, urinating and defecating...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

33. Gotta go pump the bilge.

[DinahMoeHum]

34. Going to the head. . .

. . .sailor/Navy expression, doncha know?

[GreydeeThos]

41. Gotta Hit the Head

I'll be right with you but I gotta hit the head first.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

35. Exorcising a demon. nt

[bluestarone]

36. gotta go give birth to a repub!!

[The Blue Flower]

38. Gotta see a man about a horse

Is this a southern thing? I heard it growing up in Florida.

[Wounded Bear]

42. From the phrase...

"I have to pee like a wild race horse."



ps: I grew up in Washington. Not totally sure where I picked that up, though.

[Major Nikon]

56. The original phrase was, "going to see a man about a dog"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/See_a_man_about_a_dog

[PassingFair]

39. Gotta drop off...

some timber.

[sarge43]

40. Answering latrine call n/t

[lastlib]

43. "Dump a Trump"

using the Trump Dump....

[smirkymonkey]

45. Gotta drain the monster.

[AmandaRuth]

47. going to drain my radiator

a friend said that to me years ago, and i still use it.

[Leith]

48. To the Bat Cave!

Surprising that nobody has said that one yet...

[uriel1972]

49. Isn't "Going to the bathroom"...

already a euphamism?

[GeorgeHayduke]

50. Headed to the office to take a call holding on line two

Or "torque off a moonfish", or "leave a steamy klinker".

I spent way too much time in college thinking about this.

[SummerSnow]

51. Gotta tinkle

[malthaussen]

54. Hitting the head.

Not that I've ever been in the Navy.

-- Mal

[enid602]

55. loaf

Squeeze a loaf.

[Major Nikon]

57. Headed to the throne room

[Major Nikon]

58. Pinch a loaf

[McCamy Taylor]

59. Going potty. Once a mom always a mom.

[wishstar]

60. My mom and aunts used to say "I cleaned my clock" or "I did my duty"

and when they came out of bathroom saying one of those expressions, I would always sarcastically say "well, I'm proud" or "congratulations"