Ex wife might be taking me back. That's what I heard.

[Kaleva]

Yesterday I got a call from the woman I wrote about in my "Dear John-Hope You Die!" thread. She said she just wanted to call and let me know she was happy to hear that me and my ex were getting back together again. I told her that I was not aware of any such thing. She went on to say that talk around town was that my ex was having trouble without me being there. We talked some more about other things and that was that.

This morning my ex calls me up and tells me how much she missed me being around. She has no desire to get anything done without me there and she misses how much I made her laugh. She asks me if I've heard recently from the woman I mentioned in the 1st paragraph. I lied and said I hadn't. Ex then tells me that if that woman does call me up again, she'll call her and tell that slut (her words) to stay away from me. My ex doesn't say anything about me moving back and I don't bring it up.

So here I am till someone tells where I'm going to be staying or moving to. Doesn't matter to me as I just go with the flow.

[rug]

1. This is a job for Meta.

[Xipe Totec]

2. One chance, per woman, per lifetime. Period.

That's the way it works.

Don't walk, run....

[rocktivity]

3. This might help

http://myquestionsaboutlove.com/win-an-ex-back-magic-of-making-up/


rocktivity

[Kaleva]

4. Interesting! I bookmarked it.

[seabeyond]

5. hm.... and you. what do you think about it. how do you FEEL.

[Kaleva]

6. I figure I only have a few years left in me at best so...

I'm not going to get too excited about things. Just enjoy each day as it comes!

[Xipe Totec]

8. Your story isn't that different than mine, truth be told

But I have learned from a 30 year long mistake, and am now about to embark on a different adventure, with a different woman who I never expected to find again in my lifetime.

I have paid my dues, put my kids through college, am willing to pay alimony to the mother of my children until she meets her maker and, whatever I have left, of time, money, health, and energy, I am devoting to a woman who loves me dearly. No, I dare say desperately.

And I love her.

Never look back. Those who hurt you in the past know how to hurt you again. Don't give them a second chance.

[Wait Wut]

9. THAT...

...is your answer!

[seabeyond]

11. ok... didnt i hear you say

you are 54??? and i gotta ask, why would you think only a couple years. there may be something real, but if you just "feel", let me tell you a story.

"I'm not going to get too excited about things. Just enjoy each day as it comes!" this really works for me. kinda like a "decide already", lol. i can do whatever and be happy, lol. so i kinda get that. but she seemed to be not necessarily nice from one of your posts, and that.... i am never into.

i like Xipe Totec's post. and good for him. yea. wish the best

i am just into not hurting others, and " Just enjoy each day as it comes!" so if you are staying true to that, then i am all for it.

and arkansas " I just have a sneaking suspicion that you're being played by one or maybe both of these women. " there are not nice out there. that ..... walk from.

[Kaleva]

12. I have a history of blood clots and been admited to the hospital a couple of times...

because blood tests came back I was borderline heart attack. I had gone in 'cause my face and hands were beet red and I was having trouble thinking clearly. When they took my shirt off, I had big red spots on my back. Blood work results were in the critical range.
If I over do it, I can't do shit for days.

My ex has a long history of mental illness of which I was well aware of before we got married. Members of her family have told me I'm the reason she's still alive today. When things got really bad for her, I was always there for her. Some of the stuff she does doesn't make sense at all but for the most part, I don't argue about it. We just talked on the phone a little while ago and she wants me home for the weekend.

[seabeyond]

13. well, kaleva

thanks for letting me know. i better understand your situation. i am going with what you said in the post above.... enjoy each day as they come, whatever it takes for you to have that. i have been hearing a back and forth from you the last week? or two? ... so, i hope you get what your heart desires, and your needs are met.....

sincerely....

[Arkansas Granny]

7. I don't know your whole story, but I have seen a couple of other threads

you've posted on this subject. My advice is to be careful. I just have a sneaking suspicion that you're being played by one or maybe both of these women. Take care of yourself and do what you think is best for you. Good luck.

[panader0]

10. Don't do it.

[Baitball Blogger]

14. Know that I am the worst at giving advice on matters of the heart when

there are complications. But I want to at least try. I really owe you big.

First, ask your doctor if ResQ Fish oil will work for you. It is the Cadillac of fish oils for matters that involve cholesterol and heart issues.

Second, can your ex-wife's medical problems be controlled with medication? If yes, how committed is she to being as healthy as she can be to help you out with your issues? This should be all about improving your life. At this stage, you shouldn't take on someone who has more problems than you have. Unless that person is capable of lifting you spiritually in a way you can't find any other way.

Third, I am a little wary of the first woman coming to you with information, and your ex-wife following up the next day. I don't know what that means, except that your ex-wife is confiding private information with someone she later refers to as a slut. There is something there that doesn't seem to add up.

Fourth, I agree that it's best to start fresh with someone new, if you can. But you have to be committed to trying. It means joining organizations you might not like to belong to, and taking risks, like, maybe taking someone on a cruise. Find someone that makes you laugh and someone who is considerate about how you feel.

But, if you want to get the ex-wife back into your life, I would make that ex-wife fight for you tooth and nail. She should be courting you, and not the other way around.

[Kaleva]

16. I live in a small town

It wouldn't be unusual for my ex to tell someone something and within a few days, most everyone else in town has heard some version of it. I really doubt that my ex and this other woman are in any way in cahoots with each other as they had a major falling out over 2 years ago and to the best of my knowledge have not spoken to each other since.

I've heard about the benefits of fish oil and I'll do some research on it.

When I reread the posts I made here, it would appear that things between my ex and me are very one sided. That is not the case. Before we met, I was all work (self employed) and no play. With customers, I was courteous but no small talk. I was there to do the job as best I could and that was it. When I met my wife (she called for me to do a job), we clicked for some reason. I got the job done and left her a bill. After a month, she hadn't paid so I called her one day just to remind her of it and we ended up talking for about four hours. She said for me to call her again soon so I called her again that evening and we talked till 1 or 2 in the morning. We started going out. As time went on, regular customers of mine said I had changed. I was smiling and laughing and joking when before I was serious and all business.
In a way, we both need each other.

[Baitball Blogger]

17. Your feelings for her come through.

It sounds like you know what you want to do. It's true that love is all about taking risks and a whole lot of trust.

Do what you have to do to set your mind at rest as far s the trust issues go. You got in the first time with long conversations, so have long conversations again before committing. She needs to know what changes she has to make to earn your trust again.

All the best to you. If there is anyone I met on DU that deserves the best that life has to offer, it is you.

[riderinthestorm]

15. As a married woman, my first instinct is to tell you to run from both women

because as you said, life is too short.

It seems as though you've finally gotten out of a pretty toxic situation (and narrowly avoided another). I'm just not into that kind of emotional drama....

There's something weird going on with the two women - be very careful here.