Know any adages or old sayings that are just not true?

[red dog 1]

"It's always darkest before the dawn"

"A watched pot never boils"

[Boxerfan]

1. I before E except after C

for me it never works in the real world...

[red dog 1]

9. "Or pronounced as a A, as in neighbor or weigh"

(What about "weird"?)

[csziggy]

12. "The exception proves the rule"

[wryter2000]

79. That's my fave

Exceptions disprove rules, not the other way around.

[wryter2000]

80. "It couldn't hurt to ask"

Yes, it can if you get a humiliating "no," especially in public.


On edit: meant to respond to the OP. Ooops.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

87. Actually, in that saying (the exception proves the rule)

the word proves is being used in an older meaning, where it means tests, so "The exception tests the rule."

[sarge43]

111. The original word was "proofs". As you say, tests the rule.

Used when debating philosophical or ethical questions

Thou shall not kill.

Is it permissible to kill to protect oneself or another?

Is it permissible for a soldier to kill to protect the state?

Is it permissible for the state to execute criminals?

Are DNRs or removal of life sustaining medical treatment permissible?

and so forth

If any exception is tested and allowed, then it isn't a universal rule

[Doc_Technical]

53. What about "weird society"?

[red dog 1]

61. Good one!

[red dog 1]

62. What about "Weird Science"?

Good movie!

[Snellius]

77. "i" before "e" except after "c" and "weird" is weird

That the way we learned it.

[Callmecrazy]

54. The exceptions are:

Neither financier received either species of weird leisure.

[yonder]

84. That's a rule breaker, if there ever is one.

[Glorfindel]

2. "He who hesitates is lost." "Haste makes waste." They CAN'T both be true!

n/t

[red dog 1]

8. I'd say "Haste makes waste" is the one that's true

[eppur_se_muova]

3. "Still waters run deep."

Um, no, most likely they stand even stiller.

[raccoon]

46. I take that to mean that people who are kind of quiet and unobtrusive

I take that to mean that people who are kind of quiet and unobtrusive can surprise you at times with the depth of their passions

[eppur_se_muova]

59. "His neighbors all described him as a quiet loner ... " nt

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

98. See? "Depth of passions".

Not always a good thing.

[malthaussen]

92. As a friend of mine used to say...

... yeah, and stagnant.

-- Mal

[malchickiwick]

4. "There are no atheists in a foxhole" hogwash/malarkey

[SCantiGOP]

124. never saw this saying as pro-religion

it indicates that belief in a Creator is an emotional rather than a rational response.

[Lunabell]

5. If you cross your eyes,

they'll stay like that.

[dameatball]

7. Okay, how to put this: I survived adolescence and I did not go blind.

[PJMcK]

31. Me, too

And at 60-years old, I still don't have hair growing on my palms.

[dameatball]

48. I think that is another one we can dismiss...:)

[TexasBushwhacker]

56. I was taking a genetics class in the 70s

The professor said "It's genes that make you grow hair on your head instead of the palm of your hand."

I burst out with a BWA-HA-HA. No one else in the class got it and looked at me like I was a weirdo. The professor got a sly grin and winked at me.

[cos dem]

10. The early bird gets the worm.

So what, the late bird gets to sleep in. Who wants worms anyway.

[smirkymonkey]

13. That would be my pick.

I am tired of self-righteous morning people who insist that the only way to be successful is to be an early riser. There are a lot of us "night people" who are most productive in the later hours.

Another one I hate: "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." Arghhh!

Yeah, maybe if you are up all night drinking or something, but there is nothing inherently superior about being a morning person. Most creative people tend to be night people.

[krispos42]

27. The early bird may get the worm...

...but the second mouse gets the cheese.

[Wolf Frankula]

32. That just shows that the worm should have stood in bed.

He who hesilost is tates.

A penny saved is a penny earned. With today's interest rates it's a penny wasted.

Wolf

[Coventina]

11. Good things come to those who wait.

Rarely, if ever, true.

[SkatmanRoth]

24. He who hesitates is lost

[lame54]

14. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

[red dog 1]

16. I hate that one

[I don't know why]

[Wolf Frankula]

34. Go into an old soldiers home

and talk to the old wounded troopies. Their wounds didn't kill them but they sure as hell didn't make them stronger.

Wolf

[lame54]

49. Goos example...

But sayings aren't examples
They're absolutes

[bdtrppr6]

15. everything will be okay

[targetpractice]

17. He who laughs last gathers no moss...

...or something like that.

[red dog 1]

22. "He who laughs last laughs best"?

"A rolling stone gathers no moss but ti gains a certain polish"?

[lastlib]

118. But--does a geological specimen in curvilinear motion.....

...accumulate no primitive plant phyla?

IDK........

[targetpractice]

19. Everything happens for a reason. n/t

[True Dough]

28. I despise that one

Like some shit ain't random, eh? Oh so random. I mean, we can certainly influence what happens to us to some degree, but there's not always a reason for everything other than crap luck.

[3catwoman3]

51. That one is particularly odious when offered as an...

...explanation for some heartbreaking event.

I prefer the alternative I have seen on a bumper sticker - "Shit Happens." It most certainly does.

[FiveGoodMen]

58. Yup. I cringe whenever I hear that nonsense

[RobinA]

125. Every Time

I hear that one I swear I’m one step closer to the inevitable outburst that will lose me friends. Spoken by religionists and purveyors of woo everywhere I turn, my retorts will bubble over one day. I worked for years for Children & Youth Services and now in a psychiatric hospital, and the rage and scorn that phrase brings up in me is considerable.

[Kaleva]

20. He who smelled it, dealt it.

[surrealAmerican]

21. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

No, it isn't. Your hand just gets all clawed at and pecked.

[red dog 1]

23. A bird in the hand

will pee on you?

[dhol82]

26. Birds don't really pee.

A bird in the hand will poop on you.
Count on it.

[sakabatou]

25. "Long distance relationships never work"

[WhiteTara]

29. the wages of sin is death.

that one really cracks me up.

[Shrike47]

42. Given all his lies, thefts, adultery etc, how is that man still with us?

[WhiteTara]

44. It's sad, isn't it.

[BeyondGeography]

30. Love means never having to say you're sorry

Last edited Wed Jul 4, 2018, 07:28 PM - Edit history (1)

Good luck with that.

[BarbaRosa]

33. Shave and a hair cut, two bits.

While it's been awhile since I gotten a shave and hair cut, much less a haircut, I'll bet it cost a bit more now.

[Shrek]

35. You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish n/t

[DBoon]

41. Time flies like an arrow

but fruit flies like a banana

[SkatmanRoth]

67. The Smoker You Drink, the Player You Get

- Joe Walsh

[skylucy]

36. Sticks and stones may break my bones but

words will never hurt me.

[Wolf Frankula]

72. Sticks and stones may break my bones but

words leave scars forever. I was bullied. I know.

Wolf

[Bayard]

37. Its God's Will

Then he is one MEAN sonsabitch and I want nothing to do with him!

[Bradshaw3]

38. Follow your heart, or intuition

Cognitive science researchers have found that our intuition leads us wrong more often than not when making life decisions such as buying a car or investing.

[First Speaker]

39. "May you live in interesting times..."

...first of all, the saying is a fraud. It's not an "old Chinese saying"...it can't be traced back further than 1940, and apparently originated right here in the good old US of A. Besides--interesting times are cool. Yes, one might get uncomfortably close to unpleasant things...but when you're on your deathbed, you didn't spend your whole life vegetating in a Victorian village somewhere, wondering whom the new curate was sweet on.

[RandomAccess]

107. Not quite

The earliest strong match known to QI appeared in a March 1936 newspaper report in “The Yorkshire Post” of West Yorkshire, England. The expression was used in a speech by an influential British statesman.
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/12/18/live/

[keithbvadu2]

40. Compassionate conservative

[red dog 1]

64. The last one of those was probably President Dwight D. Eisenhower

He was a good man - yet he was a Republican who tried to get the top 1 percent to pay their fair share in taxes.

[Yonnie3]

43. you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar

Nope, any kind of excrement works best.

[red dog 1]

65. Flies love dog shit!

I sneak up to the dog shit in my yard with a can of raid and spray the flies on it before I pick it up.

[jberryhill]

45. Don't eat anything larger than your head

[Wolf Frankula]

73. Unless it's a pizza!

Wolf

[raccoon]

47. All that glitters is not orange. Or something like that. Nt

[red dog 1]

60. "All that glitters is not gold", (except for Trump Tower)

[ProudDemForever]

50. Father knows best.

[3catwoman3]

52. "God will never give you anything you can't handle."

(Or words to that effect.)

BS for so many reasons. See my comment above on "Shit happens," for one - no divine superbeing deciding whose life to end.

And if "gawd" never gave anyone something they couldn't handle, there would be no need for psychiatrists, psychologists, or psychotropic meds.

[Ohiogal]

81. People used to say that to me

when I got diagnosed with cancer.

God gave me cancer because he figured I could handle it?! So ridiculous. I hated hearing it.

[zanana1]

95. If that were true, there wouldn't be any suicides. nt

[Ferrets are Cool]

103. OR suicide.

[rurallib]

55. The eek shall inherit the earth

I am guessing after the rich have totally ruined it and they have moved on in a few more centuries

[red dog 1]

66. Reminds me of the line from "Life of Brian"

(From the sermon on the mount scene)

"What did he just say?"

"He said the Greeks will inherit the Earth"

[MountainMama]

90. Ohhh...

"Blessed are the cheesemakers..."

And my favorite part:

"Splitters!"

[red dog 1]

91. "Blessed are the cheesemakers..."

Just thinking about that line cracks me up.
I'm also laughing thinking about Brian's mother's voice (Terry Jones played his mother, "Mandy&quot
All of the Pythons played multiple parts in the film.

From Wikipedia:
The film was named "greatest comedy film of all time" by several magazines and television networks.
A 2011 poll by "Time Out" magazine ranked it as the third greatest comedy film ever made, behind "Airplane" and "This is Spinal Tap"

[MountainMama]

99. It's a good one...

I'm most partial to "The Holy Grail," but "Brian" cracks me up.

I also love the part where they're trying to organize, but they keep thinking of all the stuff the Romans have done for them.

[lunatica]

113. I think the geeks will inherit the earth

I thought that when Bill Gates changed life as we knew it.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

57. Too many cooks spoil the broth. Many hands make heavy work light.

How's that again?

[kwassa]

63. Everything has a reason.

but the reason may be stupid or ignorant or unknowable.

[red dog 1]

68. I wonder what the reason is for the Anti-Christ being in the Oval Office?

I mean, I know HOW he got there, but I wonder what the "reason" is for him being there?

He got there via
1) GOP voter suppression laws & programs like "Crosscheck", and other illegal GOP tactics that prevented millions of mostly black and Hispanic voters from casting their ballots.
2) Help from his lover Vladimir Putin, and
3) James Comey's letter full of lies sent out 10 days before the election, which cost HRC her lead over Spanky in the polls.

[TexasBushwhacker]

69. Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses

Thankfully, I've found that guys make passes at dames with good looking frames.

[geardaddy]

96. Yeah, Dorothy Parker was completely wrong on that one.

[Ohiya]

70. There are two types of people...

Right.

The type that thinks there are two types of people,
and the type that aren't idiots!

[hunter]

71. Fake it 'til you make it. Mind over matter. Turn that frown upside down. "The Secret." Etc.

Nope, life don't work that way unless you're looking to land in the locked psych ward, nice people checking in on you when you're in the no-lock-door-bathroom for more than three minutes, just sitting on the toilet listening to voices of ancestors...

Well, that's my personal Hunter-off-his-meds experience.

For what it's worth.

[red dog 1]

74. "Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all"

[Snellius]

76. Have your cake and eat it too

I know it means something like "have it both ways" but what's the point of having a cake and not eating it.

[PoorMonger]

78. I got one for ya.

Republicans are smart on the economy.

Or

Republicans are strong on National Security.

Ha. What a bunch of elephant shit

[lunatica]

114. The GOP is the party of family values, or of law and order

Yeah, sure...

[Major Nikon]

82. My old man used to say...

If you want sympathy, it's it in the dictionary between shit and suicide. Years later I started thinking about it and realized it was not so I brought it to my dad's attention the next time he said it. He never uttered it again.

[red dog 1]

89. A better line might be "If you want sympathy, it's in the dictionary after shit and suicide"

My mother used to say:
"If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?"
(I never had an answer for that one)

[Crutchez_CuiBono]

83. Moss doesn't grow

on a stone you just skipped. (across the lake.)

[thegoose]

85. Donald Trump is qualified to be president

[kacekwl]

86. Only the good die young. Instant karma gonna get you.

Justice is blind. Good triumphs over evel.

[jalan48]

88. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.

[malthaussen]

93. "The fortune of a man who sits, sits also."

Juxtaposed with "A man's future is written on his forehead." Okay, so which is it?

-- Mal

[malthaussen]

94. "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

Juxtaposed with "Who contemplates revenge should first build two coffins."

I sense a contradiction.

-- Mal

[geardaddy]

97. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Fuck no. I'll never join 'em.

[Habibi]

100. If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart,

if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.

Yeah, bullshit.

[spooky3]

101. "Anything worth doing is worth doing well."

My mother hated that one. I agree.

[PassingFair]

121. Like I always told my children...

Anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed.

[Ferrets are Cool]

102. Third time is the charm.

Sometimes, it's the second.

[Snellius]

104. Does that conflict with "Three times and you're out"?

[Solly Mack]

105. No one is above the law

[red dog 1]

110. Except for Spanky

He seems to get away with everything, no matter how evil or illegal it might be.

[Behind the Aegis]

106. "A broken clock is right twice a day."

Uh no, it isn't! And, if you are using a broken clock, don't be surprised when you are late (or early)!

"Even a blind pig occasionally finds a truffle." Well, duh! Especially given pigs find truffles by smell, not sight!

[jmowreader]

108. Republicans are the party of fiscal responsibility

[red dog 1]

109. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"

[Wolf Frankula]

119. Actually, it's

"You can't teach an old dog New Haven."

Old dogs can learn New York quite well.

Wolf

[struggle4progress]

112. William Blake coined some nice ones in his Proverbs of Hell:

The cut worm forgives the plough

If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.

[oberliner]

115. "Cheaters never prosper"

[edbermac]

116. "FOX News - Fair and Balanced."

[LAS14]

117. When is it not darkest if not before the dawn? nt

[red dog 1]

132. It's never "darkest before the dawn"....It's "twilight" before the dawn

Twilight is not "darkest"

[SCantiGOP]

120. "All roads lead to Rome"

pretty sure I-95 doesn't.

[unblock]

123. it'll get you pretty close to rome, maine...

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Rome,+ME+04963/@44.4948361,-70.0011756,11z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x4cb1ed8f9ef0221f:0x60b989e4b36fea70!8m2!3d44.5722051!4d-69.903486

[CrispyQ]

127. DUzy!

[CrispyQ]

122. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

We hear that one a lot around here as disaffected republicans leave their party & some enter our tent.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. No. The enemy of my enemy has finally pulled their head out of their ass. It doesn't mean they're my friend.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

126. Never lick a gift horse in the mouth!

Actually, I think that's great advice!

[Butterflylady]

128. The proof is in the pudding.

Never could figure that one out.

[Alpeduez21]

129. The real saying is

The proof is in the taste of the pudding.

[LeftInTX]

130. Anal bleach ain't all it's cracked up to be!

[easttexaslefty]

131. Time heals all wounds

God doesn't give you more than you can handle

[NNadir]

133. Yes, but "Wounds heal all the time" is basically true.