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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsSeagull With Diarrhea Barely Makes It To Crowded Beach In Time
https://www.theonion.com/seagull-with-diarrhea-barely-makes-it-to-crowded-beach-1819574572NAPLES, FLDescribing it as a real close call, a local seagull suffering from an acute case of diarrhea told reporters that he was barely able to make it to a crowded public beach in time to relieve himself Monday. Oh, man, I really had to go and there wasnt a sunbather or occupied picnic table in sightI honestly didnt know if I could hold it, said the gray and white seabird, who reportedly uttered a deep, contented sigh of relief upon finally reaching a densely packed group of beachgoers and releasing a voluminous torrent of loose fecal matter. The last thing you want is to just go right there over the water or a bare stretch of sand. But thankfully I spotted a few families without beach umbrellas and was able to make it just long enough. Must have been some bad parking lot hot dog I ate. At press time, the seagull reportedly felt another oncoming, urgent bowel movement and was rapidly racing toward the nearest convertible.
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Seagull With Diarrhea Barely Makes It To Crowded Beach In Time (Original Post)
geardaddy
Jul 2018
OP
Coventina
(27,057 posts)1. Thanks for the extensive LOL!
"Must have been some bad parking lot hot dog I ate."
Neema
(1,151 posts)2. Tig Notaro does a hilarious bit about this Onion article.
I've heard her do it for years and it cracks me up every time.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)3. ROFL!
I swear, they really do think that way. Those little bastards know exactly what they are doing.