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NNadir

(33,516 posts)
Fri Jul 20, 2018, 11:22 PM Jul 2018

I've just been outsourced as a father.

My son just came back to the US from a research project in France and went to a scientific meeting in the American Midwest with the professor under whom he worked over there.

At the conference he went to lunch with that professor and his undergraduate adviser at his university here.

He informed me that over lunch the two professors planned his entire scientific career. They discussed that he needs to take all kinds of undergraduate courses before he can graduate, so they kind of have him locked up for the next three years, where, among other things, he can be assigned to write all their papers for them.

Hey! Planning his scientific career was my job!

Over the speaker phone when I was informed about this information both my sons informed me that I've been outsourced as a father for less than satisfactory performance.

Sigh...

Good for him. They'll do a better job than I would.

10 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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CincyDem

(6,356 posts)
2. "They'll do a better job..." Probably not, but they do a more objective job.
Fri Jul 20, 2018, 11:27 PM
Jul 2018


Been there, done that 5 times.

In each case, what I learned from the experience is that the college folks that became mentors for each of the kids had a clearer view of their strengths and limitations...characteristics that I would like overstate (in the case of strengths) and underestimate (in the case of limitations).

They've all done great - and I still get Father's Day cards.

NNadir

(33,516 posts)
9. Thanks. He worries a lot that he's not as smart as everyone seems to think he is.
Sat Jul 21, 2018, 12:34 AM
Jul 2018

I advised him that these are experienced people along the lines you suggested.

My oldest son is an artist, and the father's day and birthday cards are all hand made and I treasure them very much because of their wit.

question everything

(47,476 posts)
3. Could have been nice to give him three days to think it over
Fri Jul 20, 2018, 11:30 PM
Jul 2018

after all, we can do this with major purchase..

Hope he is happy.

CaliforniaPeggy

(149,611 posts)
4. My dear NNadir...
Fri Jul 20, 2018, 11:30 PM
Jul 2018

You will always be their father........you helped give them life! I know you know that.....I couldn't resist.

You helped them build the foundation that makes it possible to grow into the fine young men they are.

They would not be where they are if they hadn't had you there in their childhood.



NNadir

(33,516 posts)
10. Thanks, Peg.
Sat Jul 21, 2018, 12:36 AM
Jul 2018

Their mother had a lot more to do with who they are than I did.

Seriously...

We all joke that without her, we'd all be working at the car wash, all three of us.

woodsprite

(11,913 posts)
6. Just tell him to make sure he gets publication credit if he's
Fri Jul 20, 2018, 11:59 PM
Jul 2018

Doing research that will be published by the prof. I worked for a prof who used his students as research assistants but didn't attribute them or their research in his publications. He milked those kids research for almost 10 years.

NNadir

(33,516 posts)
7. I'm not too worried about that with these guys. They've been nothing but great to him.
Sat Jul 21, 2018, 12:30 AM
Jul 2018

He's a smart kid, but if you told me that after his first year of college he'd be sent to France and actually get paid to go there, in an academic setting, I would have thought you were out your mind.

I kind of hoped he'd be able to get a job at the local ice cream shop for the summer, maybe an usher job at the movies. Instead there's this.

This took place because his adviser took him under his wing. I'm grateful.

Were it a concern, and it's not, my feeling is that they can take away your stuff, and they can take away credit for your accomplishments, but they cannot take away what you know and they cannot take away your experience.

When I was his age I had no where near the experience and knowledge he does, and I'm very happy he's among these people.

I'm less concerned about what might be taken from him, than with what he's been given. I trust he will embrace the responsibility those gifts imply.

In any case, his adviser made it clear that he wants my son to publish as a co-author. Both of these guys have published hundreds of papers each, and they surely don't need credit of any of whatever my son, or any other undergraduate, graduate or post-doc might do. They're just good scientists and good men.

We are really blessed.

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