Texas stores looted of BBQ sauce, briskets

[packman]

PANIC set in after Ted Cruz prophetically warned about the dire consequences of electing a Democrat in Texas. Stores reported empty shelves of Sweet Baby Ray and historical runs on briskets and pork shoulders.


Appearing at a packed campaign event at Schobels Restaurant in Columbus, 90 miles southeast of Austin, on Saturday, Cruz said, “When I got here someone told me that even PETA was protesting and giving out barbecued tofu, so I got to say, they summed up the entire election: If Texas elects a Democrat, they’re going to ban barbecue across the state of Texas.”

[In_The_Wind]

1. Oh for fux sake

[CentralMass]

2. You cant fix "stoopid"

[tymorial]

3. Because there is no bbq in any blue state

Hilarious

[Trailrider1951]

4. Barbecued tofu is pretty damn good

You should be so likable, Ted.