2 funnies, one a real joke, th'other from "Maury"

[UTUSN]

So this old man was testifying/suing and being cross examined and the lawyer said, " Did you or did you NOT say, 'I'm all right' to the (trooper/cop)?!1"

The old man said, "Well, I was driving with my favorite cow in the trailor ..."

The lawyer said, "Just answer the question..."

The old man started again (same thing)

The lawyer yelled same thing, the old man started again, "My favorite cow..."

The lawyer yelled at the judge, "Your Honor, will you PLEASE order the plaintiff to ANSWER THE QUESTION?!1

The judge said, "Wait a minute, Counselor, I'm sort of interested about hearing about his favorite cow. Proceed."

So the old man says, " I was driving the pick-up with my favorite cow in the trailor, and we hit a bump and hit the ditch, and the truck and the trailer were overturned, and I could hear that my favorite cow was in pain. Then the trooper arrived and looked at my favorite cow, who was screaming in pain, and the trooper took out his weapon and SHOT her!1 Then he came over to me and asked how I was, and I said, 'I'm all right!1"


**************

Well, today on Maury, this flamboyent woman claimed her hubby was bringing women into the house AND that she (the WIFE) would leave posties around the dwelling, saying, "Hey, b****h, DO the dishes!1" and "O.K., b***ch, I know he paid you today, so CLEAN THE f****ing house!1"


Well, *I* thought it was funny. It turned out that the lie detector proved the dude was INNOCENT. Now she leaves posties saying, "I love you" and "Kiss me."

[siligut]

1. OMG, that is funny

I love that woman leaving post-its so the woman her husband was supposedly seeing would read them. How funny, she wants her to do chores for the money that her husband is paying for sex. Even funnier is that now that he is exonerated, she leaves lovey post-its for him.