"The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" ... (good read)

[DetlefK]

I don't remember how I found this, but it contains very important advice.

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

...

All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

...

My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

...

[Cirque du So-What]

1. Arrrggh! Tiny script!

Bookmarked for later.

[ThoughtCriminal]

2. And no matter how insolent the peasants are...

I will not campaign on a promise to take away whatever pitiful healthcare is available.