What's your secret super power?

[spinbaby]

I can stuff a king size duvet into its cover in less than three minutes.

[underthematrix]

1. critical thinking

[Cartoonist]

2. I can juggle 3 oranges

Or 3 tennis balls.

Never tried juggling chainsaws.

[Doodley]

3. What a power! Even Superman can't do that!

Mine would be, well, I'd have to kill you if I told you.

[Blue Owl]

4. Only being hired at low-paying jobs

[ProudLib72]

5. I can decipher most medical terminology!

[dameatball]

6. I can take a vole away from an 18 pound cat without getting clawed or bitten.

[rampartc]

28. hell, my cats bring the little rodents and lay them at my feet

but they know I will then throw a cat party with catnip tea and tuna.

[OriginalGeek]

7. I can simply look at a plate of food

and know exactly how much salt it needs.


Einstein never would have hired me though.

[pnwest]

8. *I* can simply look at a plate of food...

...and gain three pounds.

[OriginalGeek]

10. You better eat with your eyes closed!

Especially if your doctor yells at you like mine does when I gain weight.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. I can sing the Star-Spangled Banner one syllable off, like this:

Oh, say can you see by
The dawn's early light what
So proudly we hailed at
The twilight's last gleaming, whose
Broad stripes and bright stars through
The perilous fight, o'er
The ramparts we watched were
So gallantly streaming, and
The rocket's red glare, the
Bombs bursting in air, gave
Proof through the night that
Our flag was still there, oh,
Say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave o'er
The land of the free and
The home of the brave?

You start by singing "Oh say, can" with one word on each of the first three notes, instead of "Oh-oh say," and this means you run out of notes at the very end, so when the song is sung in B-flat major like it usually is, you end it on C instead of B-flat and it drives people crazy.

[Aristus]

11. I can fold bath towels with Pythagorean precision.

If you want a neat, tidy towel closet, I'm your guy...

[keithbvadu2]

20. Minor league... come back when you can fold a fitted sheet.

Minor league... come back when you can fold a fitted sheet.

[Aristus]

22. I got you there.

My linen closet is jam-packed with fitted sheets I folded myself.

[keithbvadu2]

24. My congrats... Proud of ya.

[Skittles]

32. I CALL BULLSHIT

no one can fold ALL their fitted sheets

[Aristus]

42. Hi! I'm No One!

Nice to meet you!

[Skittles]

45. you again!

the emergency room sent me home with a $12000 bill and it's your fault!!!

[TruckFump]

54. I learned how to fold fitted sheets in grade school.

In Girl Scouts. One of the Moms showed us. I cannot tell you how many times I have passed the tricks to doing that along to others. Once you see how to do it, it makes sense and it makes a linen closet a breeze for stacking sheet sets!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

38. How are you with fitted sheets?

I might propose marriage.

[Aristus]

43. Manufacturers of rulers and t-squares use my folded fitted sheets to check

the straightness of their products...

[In_The_Wind]

64. When will you be here to tidy up the place?

Keeping the puppy outta trouble takes all of my time and attention. He is getting better except he loves to attack my ankles and bare feet.

[Aristus]

71. Any time now.

Just let me in when I knock, and I'll roll up my sleeves and get to work.

[In_The_Wind]

83. It's time to wash the Trike.

[FoxNewsSucks]

12. I can transform FULL bottles of wine

into EMPTY bottles.

[Harker]

69. Wow.

I thought I was alone.

[SkatmanRoth]

13. I can text and drive at the same time.

In my younger days I could drive a manual floor shift car while holding a beer in one hand, operating the gear shift with the other, push on the clutch and gas pedals, and steering with my knee.

(Not really, I don't text and drive)

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

40. Not entirely sure about your claim,

but I'm 70 and still drive a stick shift.

I've never owned an automatic, consider them the work of the devil. When I can no longer drive a stick that will be a clear sign it's time to stop driving altogether. My long term plan is to relocate at some point to a city with excellent public transportation.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

14. Many call me the Black Cat.

Reason: like a black cat, full of bad luck (At lest that what they say). But I seem to fall on my feet.

Don't know about this run of bad luck though....

[Anon-C]

44. I have a friend whose nom de guerre is The Black Cat; she has much the same power. Small world!

[Karadeniz]

15. I can pill any cat...and survive completely intact!

[spinbaby]

16. You can visit me anytime

I have seven cats and have mixed results giving meds.

[Doreen]

34. Hey, I have that power too.

It comes handy when you know people who are scared to death to even walk into the same room as their cat with a pill.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

41. Some years back I needed you.

Back then I had a cat, the sweetest cat in the entire world. I once had to leave her overnight with a wonderful emergency vet service, and it was clear when I picked her up the next day that had I abandoned her, there would have been a serious competition among the employees there about who would take her home. But I digress. It was not possible to get her to take pills. Once, when she had one of her many health issues, at this very same overnight vet service, when they cheerfully told me I needed to give her pills, I said, "Do it yourself." The vet tech soon discovered it was not possible to get this otherwise wonderful cat to take a pill.

I was given an injectable version of the medicine. I was by then very well versed in giving this cat injections.

Lucky you, you don't have to prove yourself here.

[Solly Mack]

17. I'm freakishly strong.

Or so people like to tell me.

[NightWatcher]

18. I can pick the slowest lane of traffic just by getting in said lane.

[customerserviceguy]

61. Can't do it with traffic on the highway

but I sure have that talent at the supermarket!

[jmowreader]

19. I speak the secret language of traffic signals

When I'm sitting at a red light, I can scream out quite loudly the phrase "change, damn you!" and the light will turn green within five seconds.

[LuckyCharms]

21. I emit a smell akin to the odor of a doorknob on the mens room of a waste treatment facility.

[Skittles]

30. JAYSUS

YOU SMELLY BASTID

[LuckyCharms]

31. LOL!

Nice to see you back here.

[Skittles]

33. love reading your stuff, as always

and yeah I gave you a valentine heart

[LuckyCharms]

37. Aw, thank you.

[Sneederbunk]

53. There's a place for you in politics.

[mopinko]

23. hugs. hugs are my super power. but

i can also hold a chicken upside down so that it passes out.

[Xolodno]

25. I can pick my nose with great efficiency.

[Skittles]

26. I can cross one eye

only because I cannot cross the other one

[TalenaGor]

27. I can wiggle my eyeballs

Like a really rapid back and forth that freaks people out lol
Kind of hurts tho so I don't do it much

I can bend my fingers at the top knuckle only.... Not sure if that's common or not lol

[underpants]

56. I can move my hair without touching it

👍

[customerserviceguy]

62. Yeah, I can do that, too!

The eye thing, that is. You're the first person I've ever heard of who had that ability! It freaks out my lady something awful.

[mr_lebowski]

29. Convincing people I'm saying something totally seriously, with a deadpan, earnest expression ...

When I'm actually totally just fucking around and meaning to crack them up (and others who happen to be around).

Some people, even those I've known for YEARS .. who SHOULD absolutely know there's no way I'm actually sharing a true opinion of mine ... still fall for it every time.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

35. I can sense Republican politicians from miles away.

I get an irresistible urge to check my wallet and put ear plugs in both ears.

Cheney came to town once to attend a campaign party over across the tracks at Poppa John's house in the rich district. I kept having urges to go buy full body armour and cans of Mace......

Actually, I walk so quietly on floors that many people express alarm when they finally notice my presence in a room. Learned that I suppose, either from being raised in a very quiet home or later from sneaking in the front door at 5AM many, many times during the bad 'ole days.

KY.....

[WePurrsevere]

36. If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore.

:::whispers::: I can't risk being exposed.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

39. Getting good parking spaces.

It's pretty astonishing. I've even driven into parking garages with the FULL sign out front, and as I drive up, someone pulls out of a space, usually right next to the elevator.

This is a power that travels with me. I don't need to be the driver. If I'm your passenger, trust me, you will get a good parking space even if you NEVER get one.

However, this is apparently to make up for the technology gods despising me. Often around me technology doesn't work correctly. More than once I've been on the phone with tech support, trying to fix a problem that even I, not a tech genius, knows should be a simple fix. But somehow it's not. Hence the all to tech support. After a while, the tech support person will admit defeat. So then I say, "With all due respect, I'm convinced that monotheism doesn't quite explain how things work." I then suggest that there are multiple, call them what you will, I use the word gods, lower case g, to explain things. There are multiple gods who control different things. Such as the technology gods. Who really don't like me. Do you want to hear how the DVD player in my computer ate a DVD a couple of weeks ago? But the parking gods adore me. As noted before, I always get good parking spaces. And don't think I take that for granted. Whenever I get I good parking space I always say, "Thank you Parking Gods."

A minor super power is that I get along with all cats, including those whose owners claim their cats hate all humans.

Oh, and I'm a poodle goddess. I'm not an especial fan of dogs in general, but most dogs like me, but then dogs mostly like humans. However, poodles adore me. Which is weird because I'm not at all a fan of poodles. But there you have it. Poodles who worship a human who simply does not appreciate them.

[customerserviceguy]

63. My lady

has that ability as well. She even got us free parking for a Yankees-Mariners game in the Bronx back in 2008, that was a block away from the old Yankee Stadium. I started calling her "The Parking Genie".

Now, as she has a disabled placard from her foot doctor, and can easily find a space, I call her "Parking Genie Emeritus."

Also, she is the "Gift Genie", knows exactly the right thing to get someone. This became apparent to me while we were still long-distance dating. She'd come to Washington State where I was, and would get up super early and hang out with my workmates and me after our last shift ended either 6:00 AM on a Saturday or Sunday (it alternated). I worked in a semiconductor factory, where we were not permitted to wear extraneous chemicals or makeup. Those things would release particles into the air, and they would interfere with the silicon wafers that we were making into semiconductors.

She grew especially close to the women I on worked with who came along on our "Friday-night-on-a-Saturday-or-Sunday" beer and breakfast sessions. Of course, they had no scents to pick up on, and frankly, we all smelled a bit funky after 10 out of 12 hours in a cleanroom gown, which we called a "bunny suit". For Christmas, she got jars of lotion for all three of these female co-workers, but three different scents. Every one of them said that the pick was perfect.

I'm in awe of my lady.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

72. With all due respect to her disabled placard,

that doesn't count. Although I will hasten to add that I am very grateful I don't have mobility issues.

I am extremely impressed by her gift genie thing.

I'm an adequate gift giver, but not in her league.

[customerserviceguy]

73. Yes

She just got that a few years ago, the Yankee Stadium thing was over ten years ago. And when we went to NYC, she did a pretty marvelous job of finding free parking in a place I wouldn't even drive in.

[IcyPeas]

46. I can mirror write (cursive)

realized I could do it when I was a young teenager. Wrote letters backwards to my brother who was in the navy at the time. He loved it.

[zanana1]

47. I can laugh at my own jokes.

Real belly laughs. Beat that!

[Harker]

67. Are they funny? n/t

[Ptah]

48. It's a secret. Even I don't know.

[Phentex]

49. I can remember long strings of random numbers or letters...

like my library card number/credit card numbers or random letter/number passwords or wifi codes.

But ask me to name all the presidents in order and I can't help ya.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

50. I also cannot name all the presidents in order, ...

... but I can name a few who are out of order.

[CrispyQ]

51. I can come up with a Halloween costume that will win a best costume contest.

I've won more Halloween costume contests than anyone I know.

I haven't made one in many years.

[TruckFump]

52. I can make the asshole who owns the house next to me...

...explode in 3, 2, 1...

[Nictuku]

55. I can fix a computer simply by being in its presence (with its user)

[OrwellwasRight]

76. I have the opposite skill.

I can make my computer misbehave in ways the IT specialists can't fix. It's my anti-super power.

[Nictuku]

80. I often refer to that as bad computer karma

[underpants]

57. Time

I am keenly aware of the time with or without a clock or watch. If I wake up in the middle of the night I calculate the time before looking at the clock. I'm always within 10-15 minutes.

It's just something I've developed.

[OrwellwasRight]

75. That's awesome.

Seriously.

[democratisphere]

58. Leap tall mountains in single bound.

[Ferrets are Cool]

59. Not arguing with my wife when it would be so much easier to do so

Keeping my mouth shut is a SuperPower!

[mercuryblues]

60. I can pack

You need 3 weeks of clothes in a carry on? I can do it. Taking the family on a vacation in a car. I can get every piece of luggage into the trunk. My family refused to play Tetris with me.

[yellowdogintexas]

84. my husband can do that, but for the life of me

I can NOT figure out his logic when putting away dishes and kitchen ware.
I have all my containers organized so they will stack in the way they are designed to do and
I will find them in all sorts of bizzare places.

Also in 36 years, he has never mastered the art of stacking coffee mugs. A couple of days ago he told me we needed to get rid of some of our mugs. My answer was "Impossible, we have not acquired any new ones for at least 2 years." Of course he did not stack them. I rearranged them properly and we had empty space which I finished. Since he is the major person who washes dishes by hand I don't complain except when I truly can not find something.

[Bayard]

65. I can sing the theme from the original Star Trek

Wah WAH wah wah wah, wah, waaaaah....

[Harker]

66. Okay.

That's formidable.

[Harker]

68. I make vast amounts of cash vanish.

Seriously... I've gotten really good at it.

[backtoblue]

70. I can wiggle my nose like a rabbit

[OrwellwasRight]

74. Getting red wine not to become a stain.

I can't tell you my secret or it won't be a super power.

[SHRED]

77. Being able to make up lead guitar parts and colorful fills

[Capt. America]

78. I can snap a penny between my fingers with surprising accuracy and

shotgun a 12 oz beer in about 3 seconds.

[Shrike47]

79. I can arrange and present facts and narrative in a logical sequence. Very helpful to a trial atty.

It is amazing to me how scattered people frequently are.

[TuxedoKat]

81. Super Name Pronounciator!!!

I work in customer service and people are often pleased and amazed that I pronounce their uncommon last names correctly. Supervisors and coworkers amazed too.

[Fix The Stupid]

82. Please don't laugh, but this is serious...

For some reason, I can recognize faces when other people cannot...

I can pick out an actor from an old TV series or movie and know who they are as adults today, and vice versa, if I see pictures...

It's really strange and hard to explain, but if any CIA peeps are reading this, there has to be a job for me somewhere in their world

[yellowdogintexas]

85. Baking. Cakes, cookies, souffles,

biscuits, yeast rolls, and so forth

My one less than expert thing is pie crust. I have a devil of a time getting it off the rolling surface. My mom could throw it down, roll over it about 3 times, pick it up and plop it on the pie plate perfectly in less than 5 minutes. It was amazing too.

However I rock at the filling part.

[benld74]

86. I can UN-stuff a king size duvet OUT OF its cover in less than ONE minute