Fisher-Price Introduces New Bungee Jumperoo For Thrill-Seeking Babies

[Zorro]

EAST AURORA, NY—Calling the activity center “perfect for newborns as well the most hardened young adrenaline junkies,” Fisher-Price introduced a new Bungee Jumperoo Thursday for thrill-seeking babies.

“Whether your infant is diving off a bridge in Austria or plummeting from a rocky New Zealand cliff, the Fisher-Price Bungee Jumperoo offers babies stunning 360-degree views and a whopping 9 Gs of force,” said Fisher-Price spokesperson Chuck Larson, who touted the toy’s light-up carabineers, chew-proof elastic cording, and colorful safari creature baubles that are guaranteed to “make your newborn’s stomach drop.”

“Simply attach the base to the edge of a 400-foot dropoff, strap your child into the triple-reinforced harness, and let them fly. Not only will they experience an unparalleled adrenaline high, but multiple studies have shown that using a Bungee Jumperoo helps prepare young daredevils for a life of skydiving, BASE jumping, and free climbing.”

At press time, Fisher-Price announced it had recalled the Jumperoo after a dangerous chemical was found in the product’s dye.

https://www.theonion.com/fisher-price-introduces-new-bungee-jumperoo-for-thrill-1844405054