Aaaaaaarrggggh! I can't take this shit no more!
Jesus fuck man, Jesus fuck!
So Mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s last summer. I’m here to tell ya, she ain’t got that. My wife and I think she has Louis Body dementia with Parkinsonism symptoms. Some examples:
“Does your mother live alone?” Yeah, yeah she does.
“I don’t know how to work this.” Standard pop machine/soda fountain.
“I’ve never seen a drive through teller at a bank before.” It was all I could do to maintain my composure when she made this statement. I was born in ‘71. No such thing as an ATM and her sister worked as a bank teller AT THE DRIVE THROUGH WINDOW!
So 1&1/2-2 years ago she was working and driving. Now we’re here man. It’s fucked up. Whatever it is, it’s progressing rapidly. And yes the neurologist knows, and she and I are bound to have some words at her next appointment in a few weeks, but I digress.
I’m figuring this is her last Christmas. Not on the planet, just last one at home. I’m thinking she’ll be in assisted living next year. I just can’t continue staying here 5-9 days at a time, ya know?
She’s been collecting Dept. 56 Snow Village for decades. She’s never been able to put it up in its entirety. I want her to be able to do it once, right? So we’re working on it.
Alls I can say is, putting up a Christmas village that has 99 houses/bakeries/factories etc. with someone with dementia? Holy fuck dude! I’m generally a slow to anger/even keeled dude. I’m going to bite a hole in me cheek or bite my tongue off trying to maintain the million wtf’s that are going on over here man. Fuck me this sucks! It ain’t like it’s her fault, ya know? And I keep telling myself that as she’s doing inventory and assigning the same number to 4 pieces. And on and on and on. I know dude I know! But fuck me is it frustrating! Fuck fuck fuckety fuck!
Just needed to vent y’all. Hope you’ll forgive me.
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Just a wee bit of advice. If she has ANY assets, please find out what you have to do so that when you put her into assisted living, they are not ALL taken to pay for it.
Good luck. 
My Mom developed Alzheimer's in her late 70's. My Dad had already had a stroke, so we were forced to move them into assisted living.
My Dad passed away a few months afterward. He was so miserable. My Mom just continued to degenerate. I was still in Calif, and she would call me several times a day....scared or worried about something. She would believe some movie was real. My brother was stealing money from her bank account. People at the home were secretly building other structures in the middle of the night. You know, the usual.
I was just glad she felt like she could lean on me. We had finally become friends when I left home, after fighting tooth and nail when I was a kid.
Its really hard to see a loved one going through this. All you can do is be very, very patient. And kind. She probably just wants someone to listen to her, no matter what year she's living in at the moment. Do you have siblings? Does she have other family?
We get so bogged down in our own lives, that we forget sometimes our aging parents live mostly through their kids and memories.
My late mother had frontotemporal dementia and I remember there were days that were just brutal. Hang in there, remember,we are here for you. Vent any time you need to.
This has to be a challenging time for you and your family, especially with everything else going on.
Is it possible to have an at home caregiver with her so that your mother can live at home? I believe at home care can be both for Medicare A and B, but you would have to ask someone more knowledgeable about that.
I ask about the possibility of at home care because my 90ish year old neighbor went into assisted living and broke her hip where they were suppose to be helping her. She's sharp as a tack and has been riding the staff for her medicine because they're always late or forget about giving her the needed medicine.
Hang in there. Hugs to you and your family.
who had Parkinson’s dementia ...
I am so sorry
My mom has Parkinson's and dementia comes with it. It's hard to deal with even if you didn't spend a lot of time with her. It's a lot like Alzheimer's in that way. There are options, seek them out from sources wherever you find them. And take care of yourself, don't beat yourself up over the frustration, you'll hurt yourself. I am fortunate to have younger siblings who are near to my mom and took care of her for several years but she is now in an assisted living environment for the duration. None of us are qualified to handle the care she needs now. All of us have a therapist to keep our shit straight and hold our hands, it helps.
You'll get through it, just don't try to do it all by yourself. If she lets you help her with the tasks you described, maybe approach it with the idea that it is something you are going to do and she will participate, that way she doesn't have the pressure to accomplish the goal. I found that works with people who are starting to drift.
Anyway, just some thoughts.
that was my dad and me a few years ago... oh the stories... no Christmas Village but he insisted that my partner stole all his long underwear and he was convinced that the woman I hired to help out was his girlfriend and......
keep venting if you need to, we are here to listen
always feel free to vent, Glamrock, and know this: someone is ALWAYS here on DU......always
