Not only is my Mom dying, but my bitch sister called me again.

[Archae]

The one I mentioned months ago, who stole some money from me.

I told her no.

She kept saying she had to have the money to pay a heat bill, I told her she is a liar and thief, she cried and kept lying.

I said "Ask me again, and I'll hang up."

She asked again, and I hung up.

I feel sorry for those who have liars, assholes and theifs for siblings.

[lunatica]

1. I have one of those

We haven’t spoken in 15 years. And then only because my mother got sick. We hadn’t spoken for 15 years before that.

[Archae]

2. Did she steal from you? Lie?

[lunatica]

9. She stole and lied and used my mother mercilessly

First my mother and then I had to take care of her kids because she would just disappear after dumping them off. Sometimes for months on end and when my mother would finally have them settled into a safe home routine my sister would show up because she “missed” them so much. She would then undermine everything my mother had done by telling her kids they didn’t have to do anything my mother said. She never liked her son who was the youngest so she would claim there was something wrong with him, which was, of course, his reaction to her crazy neglect. Then my mother needed me to rescue her and so did my nephew. My niece’s reaction as a teen was to run away and reject everyone. We lived in different states and while my sister went through a couple of marriages I basically protected my mother for the rest of her life. When my mother got Dementia and became bedridden my sister would write her letters about how evil I was and always made sure to tell her what she wanted to inherit after my mother died. By then my mother had stopped reading so she wasn’t aware of the content of the letters.

There is so much more to this story. Her cruelty to me, her Manic/depression, her abuse of the medication she took and more.

[Mike 03]

3. My relationship with one of my sisters reached its absolute

nadir right after my father died. I think a parent's death is a huge stressor. In our case, it was terminal cancer, so it wasn't unexpected. But it was a difficult time.

We are all closer now (I'm closer to one sister than the other, but there's no bad feelings) but that was the most stressful period our relationships experienced. And it involved some of the kinds of things you're talking about, plus some substance abuse by some involved. I'm not a real angry person, but when I think back on that period, I experienced anger like I've rarely experienced towards another family member.

Sometimes it's hard to be firm with family members.

I'm so sorry about your mother and the stress in the situation.

[littlemissmartypants]

4. Bookmark. Horrible siblings.

I am so sorry to hear about this, Archae.
I completely understand your frustration and disappointment.

I have three half sisters and the relationships range from lack of acknowledgement to actively abusive.

I envy all of those who have close sister relationships where the sisters are best buds and share everything.

Instead, I have one that wants to kill me, one that couldn't care less if I lived or died and one that's too strung out on whatever to be able to care.

Stay strong.

❤ lmsp

ETA My step dad/adoptive dad has terminal prostate cancer that has spread to his bones. I will most likely not see him again before he dies. That's a result not only of fear of Covid-19 but fear of being physically attacked by my step sister. I wish I had more internal fortitude. What you did is very brave. ❤

[Archae]

15. Why does she want to kill you?

[littlemissmartypants]

16. I sent you a private message. ❤ nt

[LuckyCharms]

5. No contact with my siblings since my mom passed 8 years ago.

You can only take a certain amount of fucking over.

At some point, you have to walk away.

The point when you walk away is the point where you transform yourself into superman/superwoman.

A kind and gentle superman. Because your burdens become exponentially smaller when you refuse toxicity.

[cwydro]

6. You're not alone.

Haven’t spoken to mine since my mother died.

[raccoon]

7. Does she have a substance abuse issue?

Which of course wouldn’t excuse her behavior. But it Sounds like she does.

[Archae]

8. We think so.

She used to disappear for days, going up north to gamble at the Indian casinos, I just learned she was fired (yet again) for simply not showing up for work.

Alcoholic? Doper? We don't know.

[gratuitous]

10. I remember an All in the Family episode

Archie was drinking too much and being abusive, and Edith finally hauled off and slapped him across the face in front of Gloria. Archie was stunned and embarrassed and bolted from the room. Gloria was proud of Edith for standing up for herself, but Edith wouldn't have it. She said to Gloria, "Your father was sick with the flu last winter, and I never slapped him." Gloria was puzzled by the non sequitur, then Edith explained: Archie was sick with the flu then and now he's sick because of his drinking.

Archie eventually came back and tried to make Edith feel guilty for slapping him (Edith was way ahead of him on that). But then Edith told Archie in no uncertain terms that if he didn't get help with his drinking he'd better be looking for someplace else to live.

[Archae]

11. I think it was gambling, not drinking. in that episode.

[gratuitous]

13. I think you're right

[MissB]

12. I'm so sorry

Truly.

I’m lucky to have two wonderful siblings. We’ve already lost one parent. It’s hard, and I really appreciate that my siblings are there.

I’m so sorry that your mom is dying and your sibling sucks.

[Archae]

14. Well, my sister finally was honest.

She said flat out it was a gambling debt.

I told her I still wouldn't lend her any money.

She cried, of course, and now she's going to have to get the debt taken care of, somehow.

She stopped here at my place, and gave me some of the money she owed, and apologized.

Face it.
Someone, in this case me, had to lower the boom.

And my family is backing me up.