Something for the English teachers :-)
1. If you take someone from China and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
12. “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, dog trainers disembarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive or play golf.
17. No one ever says, “It's only a game” when their team is winning.
18. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 each on those bottles of "designer label" water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
20. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that fifth one ENJOYS it?
Happy Friday my friends!
= new reply since forum marked as read
... "I do" does seem like a lifelong sentence.
... I've been one my whole life, or I've voted as a Democrat even when I was independent.
Sometimes Republicans are called Repukes, or 'pukes, and there have been many other unsavory names used on this board. So I'm going to let this one go.
