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EastTennesseeDem

(2,675 posts) Thu Jul 12, 2012, 03:19 PM Jul 2012

I was innocently chopping up a tree with a chainsaw while naked last night and now I'm in jail.

Could someone come bail me out?

33 replies

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I was innocently chopping up a tree with a chainsaw while naked last night and now I'm in jail. (Original Post) EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 OP

If I had a dollar for every time I got arrested for chopping up a tree whilst naked... Dr. Strange Jul 2012 #1

Post your booking photo, MicaelS Jul 2012 #2

Bath salts libodem Jul 2012 #3

I don't think so. He/She did not try to eat another person. madinmaryland Jul 2012 #15

I didn't say I didn't. EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #17

Here's your problem: You can't 'chop' with a chain saw. trof Jul 2012 #4

...especially if you're naked(nt) Jeff In Milwaukee Jul 2012 #9

Maybe we can come up with a quick escape plan. First, the inventory! struggle4progress Jul 2012 #5

Kinda hard to hide a (running?) chainsaw in one of your orifices. Kaleva Jul 2012 #11

I expect we'll just take your word on that struggle4progress Jul 2012 #12

It would be best to take my word on it. Kaleva Jul 2012 #13

That might actually feel pretty great EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #14

Okay WHERE was this tree turtlerescue1 Jul 2012 #6

It was sticking up from the ground. EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #8

And you were doing this naked because...??? turtlerescue1 Jul 2012 #16

I just forgot to put on clothes before dealing with my wood. EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #19

And now for something completely different ... mysuzuki2 Jul 2012 #7

As you have found out, doing that without googles and a safety helmet leads to serious shit. Kaleva Jul 2012 #10

That would've solved everything, wouldn't it've? EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #18

In that get up, you could have been the fifth member of the Village People Kennah Jul 2012 #21

Should I strategically place my chainsaw in front of my mancannon? EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #22

Heard of buck naked before, but bucking naked is new to me. hay rick Jul 2012 #20

Tell em you were sleep-chainsaw-chopping.... chknltl Jul 2012 #22

I think we've all been there a time or two Major Nikon Jul 2012 #24

Ball you out? Missing one? HopeHoops Jul 2012 #25

Old joke punch line: OxQQme Jul 2012 #26

thank you for the huge belly laugh blueamy66 Jul 2012 #27

Laugh all you want EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #30

I'm hoping it NEVER happens to me! blueamy66 Jul 2012 #31

Didn't you tell the arresting officers Smilo Jul 2012 #28

No but I did make a lot of penis puns. EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #29

You're a gamer sarge43 Jul 2012 #32

I would never do ridiculous things like that without clothes on. EastTennesseeDem Jul 2012 #33

Dr. Strange

(25,923 posts)

1. If I had a dollar for every time I got arrested for chopping up a tree whilst naked...

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 04:00 PM

Jul 2012

I still wouldn't have enough to bail you out. Sorry.

MicaelS

(8,747 posts)

2. Post your booking photo,

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 05:11 PM

Jul 2012

And I'll think about it.

http://www.bustedmugshots.com/

libodem

(19,288 posts)

3. Bath salts

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 05:58 PM

Jul 2012

Or spice. They said that shit was dangerous. You must go back to the meetings.

madinmaryland

(64,933 posts)

15. I don't think so. He/She did not try to eat another person.

Reply to libodem (Reply #3)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 10:04 PM

Jul 2012

EastTennesseeDem

(2,675 posts)

17. I didn't say I didn't.

Reply to madinmaryland (Reply #15)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 12:23 AM

Jul 2012

That part just wasn't as notable as Leatherfacing a maplewood with my own maplewood breathing in some fresh air.

trof

(54,256 posts)

4. Here's your problem: You can't 'chop' with a chain saw.

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 06:02 PM

Jul 2012

Well, you shouldn't, anyway.
You chop with an AXE.
Chopping with a chainsaw almost always results in injury or death to the operator.
Chainsaws should be used to slice smoothly through a log.
Repeatedly 'chopping' at the log with a chainsaw is sure to end badly.

Jeff In Milwaukee

(13,992 posts)

9. ...especially if you're naked(nt)

Reply to trof (Reply #4)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:21 PM

Jul 2012

struggle4progress

(118,332 posts)

5. Maybe we can come up with a quick escape plan. First, the inventory!

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 06:26 PM

Jul 2012

Do you still have the chainsaw?

Kaleva

(36,340 posts)

11. Kinda hard to hide a (running?) chainsaw in one of your orifices.

Reply to struggle4progress (Reply #5)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:26 PM

Jul 2012

struggle4progress

(118,332 posts)

12. I expect we'll just take your word on that

Reply to Kaleva (Reply #11)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:28 PM

Jul 2012

Kaleva

(36,340 posts)

13. It would be best to take my word on it.

Reply to struggle4progress (Reply #12)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:38 PM

Jul 2012

We don't need a "in memory of" thread for a fellow DUer who actually tried that.

EastTennesseeDem

(2,675 posts)

14. That might actually feel pretty great

Reply to Kaleva (Reply #11)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:58 PM

Jul 2012

Depending on the orifice.

turtlerescue1

(1,013 posts)

6. Okay WHERE was this tree

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 06:29 PM

Jul 2012

AND who did it belong to?

EastTennesseeDem

(2,675 posts)

8. It was sticking up from the ground.

Reply to turtlerescue1 (Reply #6)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 07:46 PM

Jul 2012

I guess it belonged to God.

turtlerescue1

(1,013 posts)

16. And you were doing this naked because...???

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Reply #8)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 11:27 PM

Jul 2012

At night.

What were you charged with? Is there a fine or a court date? Were there lights and sirens?

Be careful EastTennesseeDem. We can't afford you to be in jail until after the election.

EastTennesseeDem

(2,675 posts)

19. I just forgot to put on clothes before dealing with my wood.

Reply to turtlerescue1 (Reply #16)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 12:38 AM

Jul 2012

Doesn't that happen to everyone?

mysuzuki2

(3,521 posts)

7. And now for something completely different ...

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 06:55 PM

Jul 2012

The Larch!

Kaleva

(36,340 posts)

10. As you have found out, doing that without googles and a safety helmet leads to serious shit.

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Thu Jul 12, 2012, 09:24 PM

Jul 2012

EastTennesseeDem

(2,675 posts)

18. That would've solved everything, wouldn't it've?

Reply to Kaleva (Reply #10)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 12:28 AM

Jul 2012

Damn it, I wasn't thinking. Next time I'll wear goggles, a safety helmet, and some knee-high black socks.

Kennah

(14,312 posts)

21. In that get up, you could have been the fifth member of the Village People

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Reply #18)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 01:54 AM

Jul 2012

EastTennesseeDem

(2,675 posts)

22. Should I strategically place my chainsaw in front of my mancannon?

Reply to Kennah (Reply #21)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 02:08 AM

Jul 2012

Maybe rev it up a bit as I sing some subtle sexual lyric to kind of let people know that the lyric I just sung was sexual.

We all know The Village People's lyrics were subtle.

Also, heh. You said member.

hay rick

(7,638 posts)

20. Heard of buck naked before, but bucking naked is new to me.

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 12:41 AM

Jul 2012

If your case goes to trial, suggest you tell the truth, the naked truth, and nothing but the truth.

chknltl

(10,558 posts)

22. Tell em you were sleep-chainsaw-chopping....

Reply to EastTennesseeDem (Original post)

Fri Jul 13, 2012, 02:08 AM

Jul 2012

....tell them it was a sleeping pill you ate called Zolpidem Tartrate. Also be sure to hide the chain to your chainsaw before going to sleep next time....that'll keep the local trees happy.

I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on tv, any advice you see here was put here while I was sleep-advice-texting because of that very same medication.