At 6:00am today, I was walking up the staircase from the living room...

[LuckyCharms]

while my wife was sitting in a chair eating breakfast and watching TV.

After I took a few steps up, I froze on the staircase and asked her the following:

"Do you think if I had a professional photographer take a picture of me in this pose on the staircase, except in the picture, I was completely naked, and my nub was teasingly visible through the bannisters, that the picture would be good enough to be in Playgirl magazine"?

She turned her head away from the TV for a moment, looked at me stoned-faced, said "no", and then turned her attention back to the TV.

She's not a morning person.

[ret5hd]

1. Well, by that very particular standard, my spouse is a ...

“3:00 AM - 3:01 AM, on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, and asked immediately after being awakened” type of person…and still the best answer I could expect is “Sure…whatever they want.”

[irisblue]

2. Lucky, ask again, with a cup of her favorite hot beverage in your hand

See if that helps

[Harker]

3. You could get dressed and try for GQ. n/t

[FailureToCommunicate]

4. Ew. I'm with her. And I wouldn't have even had to turn my head.

I don't really understand "morning people"

Even though I have to get up early, and out the door, for construction work, I don't trust any measurements or design decisions I might make before, like 8:00 a.m. and after several k-cups of high test joe.

[Rebl2]

8. Same here

Would not miss a beat and say NO

[sarge43]

5. Yow. Super nova burn and the Hairy Eyeball of Death. Doubling down.

Yeah, never a good idea attempting communications with most women first thing in the morning. Always offer a tribute first.

[stopdiggin]

6. agrreeing w/ the wife

and desperately trying not to draw that picture in my mind ...

I'm assuming she did not set down her spoon and push away from the table? Best you're going to get.

[Mazeltov Cocktail]

7. Showing your lucky charms in a national magazine precludes a run for the presidency...

So there's that...

[Scrivener7]

9. Dead. I was dying at the beginning of this story and now I am dead.

[rurallib]

10. Is it something about the bannister?

[Totally Tunsie]

11. Bare butts and bannisters are a dangerous combo, if you get my drift.

Don't get any spur-of-the-moment ideas if you indulge your fantasy! Painful...

[FakeNoose]

12. Do you think your wife lacks imagination?

Or maybe she lacks subtlety ... I'm not sure which.