Anyone buying a Christmas present for an elderly family member in a retirement facility?

[Sugarcoated]

My MIL has moderate (so far) dementia, is in a place with a small room, similar to a nice hotel. She needs help with showering, getting ready for the day, cleanliness. It's very difficult to take her anywhere because it exhausts her and she can't control her bowels/bladder. She has limited space, her daughters make sure she has all the toiletries and clothes she needs. We were gonna get her pjs/lounge wear but she is XL petite and, apparently, that size is no longer carried in the stores my husband has hit up tonight. I need some creative ideas.

[vanlassie]

1. A plant? Candy or nuts? Favorite cookies?

[Harker]

2. Does she have art and/or photos on the walls?

In assisted living, such things provide a familiar base to touch in with, or a view to explore - as the case may be.

[GumboYaYa]

3. We are getting my mother in law a small beauty kit, nail polish, lipstick etc.

She is in a similar situation with mid stage dementia. She still likes to look good and feel pretty. We also got her some good hand lotion and a plant. There are not a lot of options for things she will use and enjoy.

[cilla4progress]

4. Consumables?

Treats - candy, etc. Or soaps (fragrant).

There are also electric candles (not sure of their technical name) that look like flickering candles but are battery-powered with a switch for the bulb.

Some ideas - what my MIL likes!

[viva la]

5. Something edible

Easy to swallow.

Think about an digital photo frame-- you can email pictures to it, and she can scroll through. It requires almost no work on her part, so she won't find it stressful.

[LakeArenal]

6. A nice throw for her chair?

I had made I pillow with my dad’s company logo on it. He liked that.

He loved Taco Bell so I made arrangements to get him the gift of Taco Bell every week for a year.

We gave a really nice night light once. He had it in his bathroom when he passed.

Hard to buy for a person who has had everything. And now, can’t have very much.

Chocolate covered cherries if she can

[unc70]

7. A companion robot dog or cat

There was a long discussion on DU a couple of months.

[highplainsdem]

16. Joy For All cats and dogs. Got the cat for my mom. Best $100 I ever spent. She loved it, the nursing

home staff loved it and ordered one, and lots of people there asked me how to get one.

[Sugarcoated]

18. Sounds very cool!

I'll look for the thread

[tblue37]

8. Photo album. Or just photos and scenic pics for her walls.

[leftieNanner]

9. A Family Calendar

I don't know if you have time now though.

Every year, my husband would gather photographs of the kids throughout the year and put them together into collages for each month. Then he would take it all down to a local printer and have them make it into a calendar.

This was my parents' favorite present every Christmas and they got to enjoy it all the next year.

If your MIL has moderate dementia, then the memories included in the calendar might be a positive thing for her.

[femmedem]

13. That's a wonderful idea.

I wish I had done that for my mom a few years ago.

[femmedem]

10. Here's an article with suggestions for gifts for people with dementia:

https://www.verywellhealth.com/best-gifts-for-people-with-dementia-5087062

My mother with advanced dementia does still enjoy flowers, and food is a great gift unless she needs assistance eating--but it doesn't sound as if her dementia is that advanced. Photos are great. Music is great but she would need help eventually, if not already, to play it. And the robotic cat I bought my mother two years ago was the best gift I ever got her. She doesn't talk as much anymore, but back then she would tell me stories about how adorable the cat is. But from here it is hard to know if she would know that it's a robot and get insulted or if she would think it's a real cat.

Edited to add: but even if she knows it's a robotic cat, you can play it off as something soft like a pillow that looks like a cat.

[pnwest]

11. Her fave candy, sugar-free version if she's diabetic. Large enough pkg she can share with friends.

As a wrapped gift that she can open up. She'll keep that gift bag and bow sitting there and remember she got a gift. Or a group of framed pictures of grandkids doing anything! Playing outside, school pics, etc. Labeled with their names. The things my mom treasured most when she was in the alzheimer's ward were photos, and cards.

[Wicked Blue]

12. Something to play music

It needs to be very simple to use.

[Sugarcoated]

14. Thank you all for the suggestions!

My husband ended up getting her a pretty chenille throw, very soft clay rose color. I also decided, since she loves pizzelles I'm gonna make her a batch. Maybe some Koloches if I can manage before the 25th, they take quite a bit more work. She was such an expert cook and baker, South Philly Italian...I miss her pasta and gravy dinners and she made the most delicious chocolate cake w chocolate frosting I've ever had. But mostly I miss her, who she was.

[Sugarcoated]

15. Many great ideas for next year!

[highplainsdem]

17. I got my mom a CD player and a portable DVD player, laptop size so she could see it more

easily. She loved music, and the DVD player was used mostly for music videos/concerts. Those, and the Joy For All robot cat, were her favorites.