It's almost like it's raining

[LuckyCharms]

but I'm standing in a box
I'm really in the shower
And forgot to take off my socks
Fuck it I'll just wash them
With Old Spice body wash
While they're on my feet
Nobody will give a fuck

But then how will I dry them
I'm gonna need a plan
I'll stick my feet in the oven
To see how much heat I can stand
But now I'm getting nervous
Thinking of my socks
If I lose my concentration
I'll forget to wash my private spots

Then later I'll be itchin'
And scratchin' like a dog
la la la la la la la
Need a word that rhymes with dog
la la la la la la la
Fuck it no one cares

So I sing at the top of my voice
In the shower so warm
'cuz only my wife can hear me
And she doesn't pay attention anymore
I make up songs in an instant
That don't make any sense
As I try to admire my soapy ding dong
But wonder where it went

Don't forget the butt crack
It's the most important part
Better do that part first
Or else I'm gonna forget

I hate it when I break
The 'ol showerin' routine
'cuz then I think I missed a spot
And go back and wash it again
And then I forget again
And have to wash it over and over
'till I'm really sure
That I ain't gonna be smellin' me later

Don't smell me later!
I'll see ya later!
Don't smell me later!
I'll see ya later!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife is not a morning person, so I make up songs like this and sing them in a booming voice while showering at 5:00AM to kind of ease her into her day.

She pretends to lose her temper, especially when I continue to add verses to the song during the day, long after the shower.

I'm pretty sure she's pretending to lose her temper.

Well, to be honest, she's probably not pretending.

[Walleye]

1. Go ahead and make up songs and sing loud all you want. A lot worse stuff you could be doing