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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsJust got a call from a friend who I'm not real fond of reuniting with.....what do I say??
We were friends years ago, at least 30+ years ago ..cant even remember why we lost contact she called me today and I was so surprised. Shes in Arizona and will be back in my area this month for Spring and Summer, then moves back to Arizona in the Fall. I really dont want to see her .what should I do?? Shes got my phone number and she gave me hers. I just dont want to meet with her. Is that wrong?? and how do I get out of meeting with her?
highplainsdem
(48,723 posts)reason you don't want to see her again? You said you can't even remember why you lost contact.
Life has phases, and sometimes someone who was a good friend in an earlier phase might be fun to be with again later. Or not. But you won't know if you don't see her.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)and I really cant remember how close we were
highplainsdem
(48,723 posts)find excuses later if you don't want to.
I have no idea how old you are. But for all of us, getting older sometimes means that we learn via obituaries, or maybe news relayed by a mutual friend, that someone we once knew has passed. And then it's too late to renew that friendship, even if we'd been thinking we should get back in touch.
I've done this myself, and kicked myself for not staying in touch. But I think if someone was going to be there and wanted to meet again, I'd see how it goes.
She might be a bit nervous, too, not sure whether you want to see her. But seeing her again will probably trigger a lot of memories, maybe some really good ones.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)Sanity Claws
(21,822 posts)You can use that excuse to not set something up.
If that doesn't feel right, you can set something up and then cancel the day before because of some family emergency that drags you out of town.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)Trying to think of other people Id like to see some 30 years later ..cant really think of anyone.
Tetrachloride
(7,721 posts)Better a possible friend than a funeral.
Over the past 2 years, I have been a real or unofficial mourner or otherwise regarding 15 people.
Id connect the dots if I could
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)Harker
(13,874 posts)Making excuses delays a painful (for someone) exchange and makes it worse.
It's difficult, but honesty and directness is worth considering.
I've chosen to end a few friendships in a straightforward manner, without anger or deceit.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)Harker
(13,874 posts)Voltaire2
(12,620 posts)tell her exactly what the situation is, even if it is uncomfortable.
Or tell her that unfortunately youve passed away.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)Joinfortmill
(14,237 posts)Follow your instincts. If you don't want to see her don't. You could just not return her call, but since she is moving your way, that will just postpone the inevitable. If it was me, I'd text rather than call and tell her you are in the midst of family, work, health issues. Life is too short to spend time with people you have no interest in. Take care.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)well have. I was actually panicked when talking to her.
Phentex
(16,330 posts)You could choose to just not answer her call but if she texts, you just say I'm not up for it. Repeat. She will get the hint and it really is the truth.
I think it's worse to make up a bunch of excuses and that also allows for a bit of hope on her part.
KarenS
(4,024 posts)I believe that life is too short,,,, to do things we don't want to do. This past two years is one of the reasons that I'm not just doing things that are expected anymore,,,
Someone upthread said that covid can still be an excuse if you need one.
This stuff isn't easy.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)stuff about her. I cant even remember when we worked together .thanks for your comments. ♥️
LisaM
(27,759 posts)Plus she's not going to be there permanently. I don't know why she will only be in your area for spring and summer, but maybe she doesn't want to be lonely while she's there. Loneliness is a severe condition with some people (I have this problem to some degree).
We all have so many vanishing connections these days. It seems that here's an opportunity to restore one.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)the Spring and Summer. I just feel like if I really wanted to see her, I would really feel different.
Ferrets are Cool
(21,059 posts)Just not wanting to meet is reason enough. Go with your gut.
a kennedy
(29,462 posts)demmiblue
(36,744 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)That is never going to die, is it?
demmiblue
(36,744 posts)ret5hd
(20,433 posts)Have you ever wanted to be your own boss? Set your own hours? Work from home and make fantastic money? Meet new people every day? I am offering you a wonderful business opportunity, with only a small startup investment, selling a healthy lifestyle and it has excellent growth potential. You will be part of a multimillion dollar organization, using your vibrant personality to reap the rewards our creator wants for you!
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Have a friend call at a predetermined time with info that your spouse was in a terrible wreck. If, like me, you have no friends, bring a cyanide pill with you and discreetly drop it in your coffee cup.
MiniMe
(21,676 posts)Or ask if they found Jesus yet? Those 2 things make me avoid people like the plague
ret5hd
(20,433 posts)Ive been trying to contact you about your cars extended warranty.