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[UniqueUserName]

This message was self-deleted by its author (UniqueUserName) on Mon Jun 5, 2023, 07:02 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[mopinko]

1. chocolate.

like, srsly, going through my divorce, as an act of self love i had a bit of dark chocolate every day.
ok, i smoked a good bit of weed too, but... i did ok.
a big bag of dark chocolate almonds, there to munch as needed is as good a coping mechanism as i have found.

[MLAA]

2. I don't have any answers but I have plenty of hugs. Here, have a few 💖

[Nictuku]

3. Opioids

.... but you don't want to go down that road either.

[Skittles]

4. helping people who are down and out

helps you to pay more attention to what you have, rather than what you have lost

[nevergiveup]

5. Ask you doctor about Wellbutrin.

I happened to be on Zyban (Wellbutrin) to help with smoking cessation at the time my father passed away several years ago. At the time I could not figure out why I did not have any sadness and it really did bother me. Later I found out that it could very well have been the Wellbutrin. You doctor would for sure have an opinion on this.

[I_UndergroundPanther]

8. If you have a depression diagnosis

And it has landed you into a psych hospital several times,wellbutrin helps.

[FrankTC]

6. Weirdly, Tylenol

Tylenol has been shown to deaden emotional as well as physical pain. I don't have any direct experience of its psychotropic effects myself. And unfortunately I can't remember the name of the book I read this in. But FWIW, the dosage was the same as for physical pain. And I doubt that this will cheer you up, but you might be interested to know that an AMA group has just certified a new mood disorder diagnosis: Prolonged Grief Disorder. You might want to look for research into treatments. I note that your post doesn't mention SSRIs and other antidepressants. Responses vary, but for some people they're effective. Another option, of course, is individual or group therapy. But I'm confident that you have thought about these options already. The pain of loss can be awful -- I hope you feel better soon.

[UniqueUserName]

7. it's because we love each other

. . .

[abqtommy]

9. To be human is to grieve. There's much information available about grief and grieving

and there is individual and group therapy for grieving people. Everyone grieves differently.
There is no right or wrong way to do it, you get to choose. I'd ignore anyone who
suggests using opiates, opioids or other substances. That's a pretty destructive thing to
do. You're in control and you get to decide. Some people grieve for a few years and some
grieve for a lifetime.

https://www.griefcounselor.org/resources/grieving-adults/

[alittlelark]

10. A trip to Peru,

Sitting in a maloka with a native shaman and ayahuasca. It’s the only cure I would trust.

[NewDayOranges]

11. Prozac...

Effexor...

[vanlassie]

12. Sweetheart. It is NOT OK that your husband died.

It NEVER will be OK. It’s a terrible, awful tragedy.

It Happened. You feel what you feel.

I will gently point out that what you feel, and what you think, are two different things. And so, at some point, when you feel ready, you can make a choice about how you want to be in the rest of this life you have. Making a choice is the only way forward. Given what happened. Given what is so. Given that it is fucked up and NOT OK.
Much love to you. ❤️

[kanda]

13. grief

Unique, i am so sorry for the losses in your life. There's an emptiness that comes with each loss. It's not "okay" that your husband died so young. But yet, he did.

My son was 19 when he unexpectedly passed away nearly 8 years ago. I attended grief counseling, but even then this was such a HUGE loss to contend with, I needed extra help to get through the days without an ocean of tears. My doctor prescribed zoloft. For me, it was immensely helpful.

I was getting ready to have my doctor wean me off of it, but then my mother passed, so stayed on it another year. After I'd been off of it a couple years, my husband started exhibiting signs of what we now know were dementia, but at the time it just seemed he wanted to be angry at me all the time. I started seeing an individual counselor and she recommended i try it again. While it didn't improve HIS behavior, it helped me cope with it. He passed away last summer. We've cut my dose down, but i think I'll be on it for a bit longer (year?) as I ease into this widowhood.

What I'm saying is, while medications aren't for everyone, they can be helpful for some in getting over those deep valleys in life.

Again, so very sorry. Grief is the price we pay for love.

There is beauty, and i have no doubt you will see more and more of it in days to come.

[multigraincracker]

14. Time is the great healer.

You can't hurry it. I've found staying active and busy, makes it pass.
Best of luck.

[UniqueUserName]

16. This is helpful.

I have four sisters.
When mom died, her cat was so distressed. Mom had allowed the cat to live in her house. But the cat was so headstrong. The cat would open the cabinets and climb into everything. My mom put her outside.

Well, mom was dead, so I thought it best to bring in the grieving cat into my mom's house. My sister, who does not value the cat's self direction----my sister did not value the cat's own sense of agency, my sister said that the cat should not be in my mom's house. So to keep peace, I've adopted the cat. She can live in my dear husband's spare room.

None of that makes sense. -----She is fine. -----The cat is fine. I am acclimatizing the cat to my house.

I adopted her sister years ago. When Ma kicked the cat out of her house, the cat came to my house begging to be let in. Her sister feline was like, "NO! WE ALREADY have three cats!" My husband and I had adopted her sister a few years earlier.

Two of the cats have died at 14 and 15 years old. Only the cat's sister is alive. My cat, the sister, will have to learn to live with my mom's cat. Life is stranger than fiction.

[UniqueUserName]

15. I am so humbled by your kindness

I am set to see my doctor on Tuesday. That is two days from now.

I do respond to medication. My dear friend is coming to see me in a week. I need to quiet my mind.

I can't thank you enough. I'm confused by the conflicting views.

At best I think, "Best sleep on it. . ." I won't act rashly. But I don't want to sit idly by. I am thankful for all of your responses. There is such temptation to destroy, but that is not my choice. I choose to build---to do good against the darkness. I do that moment by moment. I think that is how we make good happen.

[lunatica]

17. The pain of the death of our loved ones never goes away

You just learn to live with it.

[smirkymonkey]

18. I am so sorry for your loss UUN.

I am around your age and my big losses were early in life, but I am expecting that they will be coming around again soon. None of us gets out of here without going through this pain unless we depart this world early ourselves. I know that I will be as devastated as you are and I will be struggling to function.

Have you looked into grief counseling, a grief support group, anti-depressant medication (it has helped me, but took a little while to get the right combination). I think a support group would be very helpful as it would give you a community of people who are going through exactly what you are and they aren't professionals so you could reach out to them outside of scheduled group times as well.

My thoughts are with you and I wish you peace and serenity. Please check in again to let us know how you are doing.