I'm sorry.
Last edited Fri Apr 8, 2022, 05:47 AM - Edit history (1)
I do not know how to move forward with my life.
ETA: Again, thanks for the responses they give me a huge lift emotionally. As you can tell I can be robotic, odd, etc...I am working on those.
The question is about wanting to move forward and today I just seem to have to process somethings. I have had great help from the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I'm not sure where you are stuck but I just had a conversation about this with a friend a few minutes ago.
We're both depressed and trying to wrangle out of it. We have both, individually, decided that doing something that takes all your attention is the answer. Can't do it 24/7 but you can have it occupy a lot of real estate and, temporarily at least, replaces the gloom from your focus.
I have been doing a lot of things I've been putting off, working on some art projects but it would be nice to do something with one or two others. Fortunately we are both musicians with equipment so we have been toying with the idea of working up some songs together and recording them for the hell of it. We haven't done much yet but we are finding we both like similar genres and styles and we can both arrange so we are working on that. The end product may never become anything more than an audio file on his hard drive, doesn't matter, it's all in the work and concentration of putting it together.
Reminds me of my days playing around in a pottery shop. We had several wheels to work at, facing each other, and when someone asked what you were going to make as you plopped a pound or three on the wheel, the answer would often be,
"I'm going to make an ashtray, if something better comes out, cool."
There is something that you enjoy doing that engages your passion, something you love doing that brings you joy and fulfills you. Find a way to do that or some variation of it to take you to that place which makes you recognize the you that you know and feel comfortable being.
Maybe.
Just suggestions, I hope this doesn't last long and that you feel better soon. 
the 1970s I helped pay for many a therapist's Beemer to get this same info.
https://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/pages/tip-12-steps-to-overcome-depression.aspx
[12 Steps To Overcome Depression
1. Exercise regularly & eat healthy foods.
2. Get a reasonable amount of sleep each night.
3. Find purpose. Put your focus on someone or something other than yourself.
4. Create a list of small goals to achieve, check them off as you accomplish them.
5. Journal your thoughts each night before bed to clear your mind.
6. Listen to music or watch a movie that makes you happy.
7. Do a creative activity as a way to express emotion or as a distraction.
8. Don't isolate yourself, be around people –even if it means just going to a store.
9. Be present in the moment. Recognize and appreciate your surroundings and the
people in your life.
10. Meditate to relax and refocus your thoughts (try a meditation app).
11. Use thought stopping techniques.
12. Check out our 99 coping skills, which can offer a distraction or refocus your
thoughts.]
Of course there are still therapists, single and group therapy and medication. You
get to choose. Choosing to be well has always worked for me. 
is to live each decade as if I would not live to see another one. When I turned 20, I lived like I would not see 30. then I lived like I would not see 40, and so on. There are downsides to this, I probably should have gone further with education, but why spend four years in college if wasn't going to live until 30? I also retired with enough money, but not as much as some.
The upside of living like this is eventually I will be correct. 
When things didn't go as expected, I stuck with things that I have enjoyed for many years, namely photography and music (piano).
Mother Nature never runs out of delights, if we just look for them. I loaded the memory card in the computer (before checking DU) and will review tonight's sunset shortly.
Piano, for me, is a challenge. I took lessons as a kid and kept interest alive. Over the years, I kept practicing and even if nothing seems complete, I found myself getting a little better each time, and in the past couple of years, my sight reading finally got decent.
But in any event, if you are near a classical FM station, or just find a station's streaming URL on the internet, classical music is both peaceful, and at times very emotional. Tchaikovsky was anguished a lot, and you can hear it in his music (like the 5th and 6th symphonies, which can tear at your heart) but he always resolves his anguish. Sorta 
Early on, I was interested in Zen, for curiosity and meditation. My interest got beyond that, but it's probably out of context here, so I'll say more only on request.
My daughter tells me to find a therapist when I gripe about this and that, but I tell her that I'm too old and I should live so long to tell someone else all my quirks, and then come up with solutions. I am impatient and find a solution on my own.
Without knowing your circumstances (I am new here) I just want to say that there's something new to see every day, more great music to hear and inspire, and people to meet and to learn from. SEE? (tonight's session)
Yeah, nice colors!
