Had a sniff test performed on me today. No problems...so far.

[LuckyCharms]

Walked up to spouse today with arm in the air, and armpit exposed.

Me: What's my armpit smell like?

Spouse: Takes a sniff and says "Old Spice deodorant"

I then stuck my forearm up to her nose.

Me: What's this smell like?

Spouse: Mineral spirits.

Me: OK, that's good. I had to use some to clean some wood stain off my arm.

Spouse: So what's your problem?

Me: Nothing.

Spouse: What's your fucking problem?

Me: When I was in the shower today, I was thinking about something.

Spouse: You know you always hurt yourself when you try to think.

Me: I was wondering if I have the old man smell yet.

Spouse: What?

Me: You know how when you were a kid, and you walked into a strange home, and you could immediately tell that an old man lived there? Well, I'm wondering if I have that smell yet, because it's bound to happen any day now.

Spouse: There is a reason for that happening, but I forget what it is. It's a perfectly natural occurrence, so don't worry about it.

Me: Wait a minute. I don't know why I asked you. You wouldn't be able to smell it because you are acclimated to it. I'm going to ask the woman next door to smell me.

Spouse: You do that. And when you come back, go back in the garage and stay there, because I'm busy and you're bothering me.

Me: Pull my finger.

[Harker]

1. Finger pulling results in old man smell instantly. n/t

[piddyprints]

2. Well, the Old Spice Deodorant

should be a tip-off. It’s stage 1 of old man smell.

[PJMcK]

3. You're a frightening man

I hope you're not dangerous.

(wink)

[Hugh_Lebowski]

4. You need to go into an old box of your dad's belongings in your attic/storage space

Or if he's still alive, hit up his bathroom.

Either place, find his 50 year old bottle of Hai Karate cologne.

And slather yourself in it.

And then ask your wife these questions.

That said ... Be careful how you use it!

[MLAA]

5. Omg! What a coincidence. The crazy old man next door just came over, I knew it was him because the

Old man smell arrived about 30 seconds before he did. It was followed by a mineral spirits chaser that was coated in old spice. He’s really nutty but his wife is very cool.