METROPOLITAN DIARY
Hung Up
Dear Diary:
I was expecting a friend to visit me at my fourth-floor Manhattan walk-up last summer. In the time-honored New York City way, when she called to say she had arrived I opened my window and threw a packet with the front-door key inside down to her.
Unfortunately, the packet got caught in the branch of a tree in all its full-leafed glory. My friend, Jocelyn, asked two women who were walking by to help dislodge the packet.
The three of them grabbed the trunk and tried to shake it, but the tree wouldn’t move. One of the women took off one of her new, white sneakers and threw it at the packet several times. On the fourth try, the shoelace stuck on a twig.
The other woman, hoping to knock down the shoe, threw her cane at the tree. Several throws later, the cane became hooked onto a branch. Without a goodbye or a wave, they limped off down Ninth Avenue.
Winter came and all of the leaves fell off the tree. The shoe was still hanging there. The packet and the cane were nowhere to be seen.
— Shela Xoregos
Getting Married
Dear Diary:
When my wife and I were married, we opted to go to the City Clerk’s office in Lower Manhattan. Only my wife’s brother and sister-in-law accompanied us. Upon arriving, we took a number and sat on a bench to await our turn in one of the small wedding chapels.
As we sat there, we were amazed at the array of outfits worn by the other couples, everything from a man in a tuxedo with a woman in a short gown to a couple who were both wearing T-shirts, shorts and flip-flops.
Numbers were called much as they are at the Department of Motor Vehicles. When we heard ours, we entered the small chapel and met the officiant who would marry us.
“Which service would you prefer” he asked. “The short version or the long?”
We asked what the difference was.
“About a minute,” he replied.
— Kenneth Sinclair
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/31/nyregion/metropolitan-diary.html
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