Very possibly the greatest humblebrag of all time.

[sir pball]

As I had the good fortune a few years ago to be heard by Your Royal Highness, at Your Highness's commands, and as I noticed then that Your Highness took some pleasure in the little talents which Heaven has given me for Music, and as in taking Leave of Your Royal Highness, Your Highness deigned to honour me with the command to send Your Highness some pieces of my Composition: I have in accordance with Your Highness's most gracious orders taken the liberty of rendering my most humble duty to Your Royal Highness with the present Concertos, which I have adapted to several instruments; begging Your Highness most humbly not to judge their imperfection with the rigour of that discriminating and sensitive taste, which everyone knows Him to have for musical works, but rather to take into benign Consideration the profound respect and the most humble obedience which I thus attempt to show Him.

- J.S Bach

[ret5hd]

1. Adapted for my parents:

As I had the good fortune a few years ago to be born by Y’all, and as I noticed then that Y’all took some pleasure in the little talents which Heaven has given me for making crappy pottery, and as in taking Leave of Y’all, Y’all deigned to honour me with the command to send Y’all some pieces of my crappy pottery: I have in accordance with Y’all’s most gracious orders taken the liberty of rendering my most humble duty to Y’all with the present crappy potteries, which I have adapted to several uses; begging Y’all most humbly not to judge their imperfection with the rigour of that discriminating and sensitive taste, which everyone knows Y’all to have for crappy pottery works, but rather to take into benign Consideration the profound respect and the most humble obedience which I thus attempt to show Y’all.

[sir pball]

2. That only counts if you actually sent them some amazing pottery

Like, the finest pottery in history, up there with the Greek Urns in the British Museum. Bach, at least, did fulfill his obligations

[ret5hd]

3. Nope. Just crappy ashtrays and wobbly vases...

and they weren’t smokers.

[LudwigPastorius]

4. At that point Bach had four living kids and had his eye on Anna Magdalena Wilcke...

looking to pump out another 13 bebes. He needed a job with a well heeled patron.

Unfortunately, it is thought that Christian Ludwig glanced at the letter and promptly had Bach's scores filed away in his library. The concertos weren't published and performed until 129 years later.