Chicken Joke Thread

[red dog 1]

What movies do hens like?

Chick flicks!

[brush]

1. Here's an oldie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of course.

But why did frog cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken's leg.

[SeattleVet]

2. Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the opossum that it COULD be done!

[jmowreader]

3. Very long chicken joke

Paula White, Joel Osteen and Creflo Dollar received an invitation to have an audience with the Pope. They called Donald Trump and asked if he'd like to come with them. "Yes!"

When they got to Rome, Trump ordered his driver to stop at KFC and get him a bucket of chicken which he'd sit in the back of the room and eat while the ministers were receiving their blessings.

"Mr. President, do you think eating chicken in the Sistine Chapel is a good idea?" asked Osteen.

"I'm the most important man in the world," said Trump. "If I say it's okay to eat chicken in that ratty little church, it's okay to eat chicken there."

So they got to the Sistine Chapel. The three preachers went to the front of the room to present themselves to the Pope. Trump went to the back of the room. He started eating his chicken and throwing the bones on the floor. The pope enters the chapel's sanctuary, walks past the three preachers and goes straight to Trump. He makes the sign of the cross and walks out.

The three preachers are amazed. "How did you receive a blessing from the pope when none of us holy people were able to?"

Trump said, "It wasn't like that at all. This is what he did:
(Points his hand straight in the air) "How dare you desecrate the house of the Lord for your own selfish ends?
(Points down) "Pick up those chicken bones...
(Points to the left) "...get those three con artists...
(Points to the right) "...and get the hell out of my church."

[Demnation]

4. Plucky peckerheads tell yolks like that.

[Marthe48]

5. The horny rooster

A farmer had a rooster that not only serviced all of the hens on the farm, but went after the cows, the pigs, and all of the other farm animals. The farmer watched him chasing the hens, the cows, the pigs and would say over and over, "You're going kill yourself with all that running around!" The rooster ignored the farmer and kept on chasing the other farm animals. The rooster was so annoying and persisent, all of the other animals stayed as far away from him as they could, but even so, the rooster just chased everything further and further. The farmer just shook his head and went about his business.

One day, the farmer came out and noticed the rooster laying on his back in the field. The farmer approached and looked down the the limp body. He said, "I told you so! I told you all that chasing and fooling around all day every day would kill you! I bet you wished you listened to me, don't you!"

The rooster opened one eye, put a wingtip to his beak, pointed to the sky and whispered, "Shhhh! Buzzards!"

[keithbvadu2]

6. Something about bone spurs

[red dog 1]

7. What US state do chickens avoid?

Kentucky

[red dog 1]

8. Why are some chickens treated better than others?

Because of the pecking order.

[red dog 1]

9. Why did the man order a chicken and an egg off Amazon.com?

To see which came first.

[red dog 1]

10. Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't chicken.